Monday, February 1, 2010
Events WKNO-TV to Feature "Ask Vance" — Tune In!
Posted by Vance Lauderdale on Mon, Feb 1, 2010 at 11:06 PM
- "Southern Routes" Airs Thursday
It's true! The first show airs on WKNO this Thursday, February 4th, at 8 pm.
So plop yourself in front of the television, set your TIVO, or just wander around the appliance section of your local Target store. If you still miss it, the show will repeat on Saturday, February 6th, at 2:30 pm and again on Sunday, February 7th at 12 noon. After that, well, I really can't help you.
I won't tell you what topic I'll be discussing on the premiere episode; you'll just have to watch. I guarantee you it will be a good show, since it's produced by a super-talented gentleman named Kip Cole, and the "Ask Vance" segment (no, the whole show isn't about me — not yet, anyway) will be produced by my pal Bonnie Kourvelas, who has produced and hosted many of WKNO's wonderful Memphis Memoirs specials. If you saw "Beyond the Parkways" or "At the Movies" — well, that was some of her fine work, so I'm in good hands.
Don't worry; I'm not leaving the world of magazines or blogs or books or calendars; I'm just spreading out a bit, that's all.
Of course, this is only the first step. Next: Billboards, iTunes, and podcasts. I'm trying to get some of my colleagues to wear those old-timey sandwich boards — adorned with a stunning portrait of me, of course — and walk up and down the Main Street Mall. So far, no takers, even though I've offered them a fistful of nickels. How lazy can you be?
(And yes, that IS me on the TV screen in the photograph here. Don't squint at the image; click to enlarge it, for goodness' sake. Gosh, what a cute tyke! I think I was only 35 or so, singing in the school play.)
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I just know you are so totally going to forget us once you're a big TV star, Vance. But I'm happy for you. I'm glad you held out for the public television gig and didn't self-produce your own public-access cable show in the basement of the mansion.
Well, Jeff, I had actually considered it, but the rats had gnawed away the wiring in that wing of the mansion, so without electricity I wasn't able to do that. Oh yeah, and I also didn't have any cameras.
God does work in mysterious ways.
Perhaps that explains the repeated lightning strikes to the Mansion. Well, that and the yawning pit right by the front door that leads straight into the depths of hell. I've told the mailman to be careful and GO AROUND IT. But did he listen? No.
Vance: Bravo! Your segment last night about Berl Olswanger was thoroughly enjoyable. This is what Shelby Foote and Eric Idle might have come up with after splitting a bottle of Mendis Coconut.
You should put a ladder or an old couch over that pit, just to be safe. And those lightning strikes could be put to good use, if you have an old family butler or chambermaid you'd like to dig up and reemploy for very low wages.
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