Ask Vance Blog

Most of you know that I've always been mystified and amused by these generic "international" signs — usually composed of standardized images that warn people not to touch things, or lift heavy objects, or otherwise do something dangerous or foolish.

But the other day, I was slumped in the back seat of the Daimler-Benz, as the chauffeur took it through a car wash. Peering out the window, through the suds, I noticed this nice little green sign inset into the brick wall.

The more I gazed at it, the more confused I became. What, exactly, is it telling me to do? It is mounted at eye level, so that people in cars can see it, but the car wash was basically an open structure, with no doors at either end, or even inside. Yet this fellow, lacking hands and feet, seems to be dashing towards a door with a handle.

He's also running in the opposite direction my car was pointing, which — at first — made me think we had driven the wrong way into the car wash. It's happened before, believe me.

My next thought was that he was making a desperate attempt to reach a bathroom in time. We can all relate to that experience. But why do the car wash patrons need to know of his plight? Or is it telling ME to hop out of the car, dodge the deadly arms of the washing apparatus, and — for reasons not at all clear — make a run for it?

I just don't know what it means, and I've been fretting about it every since. Can anyone make any sense of it?