Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Can This One Weird Memphis Medicine Cure Your Allergies?

Posted By on Wed, Mar 26, 2014 at 2:25 PM

This photograph raises some interesting questions. Like, is there anywhere else in the world where you can purchase barbecue ribs from the endcap of your neighborhood pharmacy? And if there is such a place, are the ribs considered to be allergy relief medicine there to? And finally, if this “allergy relief” is covered by Obamacare, can we move past our differences and figure out a way to give the man four more years?

Take as needed. Buy bigger pants when necessary.
  • Take as needed. Buy bigger pants when necessary.

Elvis Is Alive and Living With Tupac and Bruce Lee

Posted By on Wed, Mar 26, 2014 at 12:25 PM

Screen_Shot_2014-03-26_at_12.20.21_PM.png

Bavaria Radler is attempting to crack the coveted celebrity conspiracy theorist demographic with a commercial depicting everybody's favorite dead/not dead celebs hanging out on a tropical island drinking fruity beer-based drinks.

Monday, March 24, 2014

Accounticon '15 Headed To Memphis

Posted By on Mon, Mar 24, 2014 at 2:37 PM

Cosplay enthusiast Gary Puckett as accounting legend Charles Ezra Sprague
  • Cosplay enthusiast Gary Puckett as accounting legend Charles Ezra Sprague
In light of the success of this past weekend's MidSouthCon, other themed conventions are eyeing Memphis.

MidSouth Con features costumes, games and panels all focusing on a fantasy theme. Next year, the wizards and anime ladies will have some competition when Accounticon comes to town.

Accounticon is the nation's premiere fantasy accountant themed convention. And the 2015 meeting will take place in Memphis.

"It's a great opportunity for accountants and fans of accountants to get together and whoop it up," said Society of Creative Accountancy and Bookkeeping (SCAB) president Penny Dollar.

The convention is less about accounting and more about the celebration of accountancy, Dollar explained. "It gives accountants an opportunity to let down their hair and pretend to be other accountants."

The event features a costume contest where participants dress as their favorite accountants in history. "Last year a guy won with a spot on costume of 1953 Accounting Hall of Fame winner Charles Ezra Sprague. It was really amazing," Dollar said.

In addition to the costume contest, participants will take part in accounting games, attend workshops on how to better emulate famous accountants, take part in sing-alongs, participate in the "Calculators and Tax Code Ball" and attend a night of stand up comedy by and for accountants.

"You can't believe how funny some of these accountants can be. This year we expect our headliner to be Gary Feldbaum from the Mayweather Group out of Philadelphia. That guy is hilarious. And filthy. His bit about double entry accounting would make Richard Pryor blush," Dollar explained.

The 2015 Accounticon will take place in May 2015. "After tax season, of course!" Dollar said. "We'll pick the specific venue after analyzing a number of factors, putting them on a spreadsheet, and just getting hammered while running the numbers."

Joey Hack is a regular contributor to Fly on the Wall and is a member of The Wiseguys improv troupe.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

I Don't Think "March Madness" Means What You Think It Means

Posted By on Wed, Mar 19, 2014 at 12:19 PM

From the office of a Memphis-area urologist, this...

We dont want to see what the bracket looks like
  • We don't want to see what the bracket looks like

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Things That Give You Gas

Posted By on Tue, Mar 18, 2014 at 3:52 PM

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The sign for Memphis’ Jet Gas Express has reminded your Fly-Team of one of the world’s great unsolved mysteries. Why do they call it a hambuger if it’s neither chopped ham nor chopped bug?

And can you really call a filling station maid a homemaid?

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Tom Waits and a Topless Dancer at the Ritz Music Hall in Memphis, 1977 (NSFW)

Posted By on Tue, Mar 4, 2014 at 9:23 PM

Tom Waits and an alleged librarian
  • Ron Hall
  • Tom Waits and an alleged librarian

You know what would be cool? If you could actually hear what Tom Waits sounded like back in 1977, when he sang "Pasties and a G-String" at the Ritz Music Hall in Memphis, while you take some time to consider the artistic merits of this photo of the gravelly-voiced singer and a topless dancer. Oh wait, because FM-100 broadcast the show live (yes, THAT FM-100), and someone had the good sense to record it, you can.

Now, while you're listening, I'll play Paul Harvey and tell you the rest of the story.

The Memphis Flyer's own Jerry Swift was pleasantly surprised this week when local pop culture writer/collector Ron Hall sent him some revealing photographs from Waits 1977 visit to Memphis. Swift owned the Ritz and was the first person to book Waits locally.

The Ritz concert was infamous because a Memphis stripper named Sherry Love joined Waits on stage for "Pasties and a G-String," but Swift has always insisted that there was no actual public nudity that night at his Madison Ave. club.

From a piece I wrote prior to Waits 2006 visit to The Orpheum:

"When the contract came in, I was looking over the rider," Swift says with a salty chuckle. "It had the usual stuff — food, drinks, and things like that. And then I saw, 'The club owner must provide a stripper on stage.' I called and asked, 'What's with this stripper shit? This is Memphis, and I don't know if we can do that.'"

Fortunately for Swift, a man by the name of Art Baldwin had recently arrived in Memphis with a bevy of exotic dancers imported from Tacoma, Washington, and one of the Tacoma girls was available for the gig.

According to Swift, there wasn't any actual stripping involved. The dancer just had to dress like a streetwalker and hang out under the street lamp.


Busted!

Pantless Man Cooks Meth in McDonald's Parking Lot

Posted By on Tue, Mar 4, 2014 at 6:21 PM

Totally not wearing pants
  • Totally not wearing pants
MURFREESBORO — Police discovered Tracy M. Strawn, his drugs, and his junk while the pantless man snoozed in his car in the parking lot of a Murfreesboro McDonalds.

According to media reports police asked Strawn if there was anything they needed to be aware of and he answered, "There might be a meth lab in my car." And there was.

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