Criminals

Sunday, July 3, 2016

Woman Stabbed for Spilling Cheese Dip; It Wasn't Even Pancho's

Posted By on Sun, Jul 3, 2016 at 12:21 PM

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There needs to be an addendum to the old saying, "Don't cry over spilled milk." Don't stab people over spilled cheese dip, especially if it's not Pancho's.



Seriously, don't do that. 



A 35-year-old Memphis woman was rushed into surgery at Methodist hospital this morning after she wrecked a car she was driving to the emergency room.  She'd been stabbed by another woman who, according to reports, became unreasonably upset after the victim spilled a container of Rotel the two women were sharing with an unidentified male.



Ongoing. 








Thursday, June 16, 2016

Man Arrested for Indecent Exposure Gets Naked in Court

Posted By on Thu, Jun 16, 2016 at 2:37 PM

Derrick Thomas, enjoying himself.
  • Derrick Thomas, enjoying himself.
If you're going down, you might as well go down swinging. Am I right?

Derrick Thomas, arrested in Jonesboro, Arkansas last month for indecent exposure and "enjoying himself," decided to expose himself again. This time in Judge Keith Blackman’s courtroom. Yesterday. 

According to news reports Thomas was granted permission to leave the courtroom for a drink of water. He returned — running by all accounts — with his shirt off, his pants around his ankles, and his arms in the air. 

 “Court is back in session,” Thomas was quoted as saying. 

Thomas laughed as three police officers forced his pants up and removed him from the courtroom. Then he added something to the effect of, “They will put [on my] tombstone that [I] was the one that got naked in the courtroom.”

Everybody has a bucket list, apparently. 


Monday, April 27, 2015

Smoked Meats: Memphis' Crack for Lunch Meat Story Gets the WTFark Treatment

Posted By on Mon, Apr 27, 2015 at 10:19 PM

"Hey, you look like the kind of guy who might trade $50,000 worth of lunch meat for some crack cocaine."
  • "Hey, you look like the kind of guy who might trade $50,000 worth of lunch meat for some crack cocaine."

Last week Memphis Flyer reporter Toby Sells told the gripping tale of Larry Ron Bowen, the Arkansas truck driver who traded a tractor trailer load of lunch meat for an undisclosed amount of crack cocaine. The story was picked by various other national and international news outlets, but nobody told it better than the satirical online news content generator WTFark.

Enjoy. 


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Thursday, September 18, 2014

Hunka Hunka Burning Booze: Man Named Elvis Presley Convicted of Throwing a Molotov Cocktail into a Liquor Store

Posted By on Thu, Sep 18, 2014 at 2:54 PM



Fly on the Wall tries to avoid the over use of "hunka hunka" but sometimes nothing else will do. Fifty-seven-year-old Elvis Presley Strickland has been convicted of aggravated arson for throwing a Molotov cocktail into an occupied liquor store.  StricklandGuilty.pdf

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Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Pantless Man Cooks Meth in McDonald's Parking Lot

Posted By on Tue, Mar 4, 2014 at 6:21 PM

Totally not wearing pants
  • Totally not wearing pants
MURFREESBORO — Police discovered Tracy M. Strawn, his drugs, and his junk while the pantless man snoozed in his car in the parking lot of a Murfreesboro McDonalds.

According to media reports police asked Strawn if there was anything they needed to be aware of and he answered, "There might be a meth lab in my car." And there was.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Leave a Penny: Shortchanged man jailed after calling 9-1-1

Posted By on Tue, Oct 22, 2013 at 11:40 AM

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According to a criminal complaint posted at The Smoking Gun, Memphian Danny Smith called 9-1-1 repeatedly because a clerk at the Night and Day Food Market on Chelsea Ave. overcharged him by one penny for a 16-ounce can of Heineken. 9-1-1 operators explained to Smith that the one-cent discrepancy was a civil matter and not a life-threatening emergency so he called a non-emergency precinct number instead. Smith was arrested by police who arrived at the Night and Day after the angry beer drinker's second call to 9-1-1.

The bond amount? 25,000 pennies.

Continue reading »

Thursday, September 26, 2013

I Love Blunts

Posted By on Thu, Sep 26, 2013 at 1:54 PM

flyby_leaflove.jpg
Ricky Ricardo Montgomery of Memphis had some splainin' to do last week. He apologized in court to the man he robbed at gunpoint last year. Then Montgomery, who admitted to smoking an impressive 30 blunts a day, issued this heartfelt apology to his wife: "I know how hard I have to fight to be the husband you desire." He was sentenced to 18 months in prison. Fred and Ethel were unavailable for comment.

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