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Friday, February 19, 2016

The Best (Untapped) Parking Spots in Memphis

Posted By on Fri, Feb 19, 2016 at 3:37 PM

It's time someone said it: The Memphis Zoo is the Kanye West of Memphis tourist attractions. The Zoo innovates. It may be controversial, but the Zoo doesn't wait for progress to come to them. Where other institutions said, "You can't park there because that is not a parking space," the Memphis Zoo effectively said, "You can park anywhere you damn well please. You are a Zoo patron, and Zoo patrons make their own fates." 

We hear you, Memphis Zoo. We have captured your innovative spirit and come up with a list of the other best (currently untapped) Memphis parking spots.

~ ~The Ultimate Best Undiscovered Parking Spots in Memphis~ ~ 

1. Elvis's Grave at Graceland 

When are we all gonna wake up and smell the peanut butter banana honey bacon sandwiches? He's been dead a long time. It's high time we should be able to park on this sweet patch of land. 

Now: 

elvis_grave_66_2.jpg
Better: 
afterelvis_grave_66_2.jpg

2. The Lobby of the Peabody Hotel 

Ducks should be on a menu, not on a red carpet. What should be on a red carpet is a brand new SUV. 

Now: 
duck_march_asstdm_doug_weatherford.jpg

When things are right with the world: 
afterducks.jpg

3. Inside the Orpheum Theater

This is a no-brainer. Downtown parking is packed. People sometimes have to walk blocks (whole blocks!) to their destination. The solution is clear. 

Current embarrassment: 
orph3.jpg
Future triumph: 
afterrph3.jpg

4. The FedExForum 

We grind hard. So why should we be forced to park in a neighboring garage? Why should we be made miserable, like people who don't know our rights? 

Just look at this sad image: 
grizzlies-in.jpg
Now look at this happy one: 
aftergrizzlies-in_copy.jpg

Case closed. Park wild, Memphis. 

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Friday, February 28, 2014

Is Hobby Lobby Gay For Same-Sex Marriage?

Posted By on Fri, Feb 28, 2014 at 8:49 AM

I have to admit, given the Green family's history of being jerks for Jesus, I found this wedding display in the Germantown Hobby Lobby heartening.

It goes together like a horse & carriage...
  • It goes together like a horse & carriage...

Yeah, yeah, I know. Some prankster probably moved the masculine, burlap-wrapped letter "S" following the second "MR." But here at FOTW we try to celebrate signs and wonders whenever we can.

On the other hand, maybe they just like "Broken Wings."

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

A Voice for Caligari: Chatterbox Audio Theatre drops a Halloween treat

Posted By on Wed, Oct 30, 2013 at 10:41 PM

Up on the roof.
  • Up on the roof.

With its angular painted sets and affected performance style, The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari is a tricky little horror film, and a visual treat. And now, thanks to a new soundtrack created by Memphis' Chatterbox Audio Theatre, this silent classic has something it's never had before: voices.

Just the thing for a wet and rainy Halloween.

Friday, August 16, 2013

Prancercising at the Breakaway-Bardog 5k

Posted By on Fri, Aug 16, 2013 at 11:25 AM

What's better than running in the Breakaway-Bardog 5k to benefit St. Jude? Prancercising in the Breakaway-Bardog 5k to benefit St. Jude, of course. And, to attract sponsors, Memphian Betsy Taylor isn't just Prancercising, she's Prancercising dressed as the Prancercise Lady, Joanna Rohrback.

Joanna, Betsy, Joanna, Betsy (Or is it the other way around?)
  • Joanna, Betsy, Joanna, Betsy (Or is it the other way around?)

More people need to embrace this gimmick. Can you imagine how much more fun it would be to watch December's St. Jude Marathon if the particants Prancercised for 26 miles?

The Breakaway-Bardog 5k goes down Sunday, August 18. Click here for details.

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