Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Commercial Appeal Declared a "Legend" Following Story About Frat Bro's Date with a Porn Star

Posted By on Wed, Feb 24, 2016 at 1:22 PM

For maximum enjoyment press play on this video before reading. 

It's not the stuff of a Pulitzer Prize winning series, but a digital report on the Commercial Appeal's website is receiving attention across social media for recounting the epic tale of UT Knoxville student and Sigma Chi frat brother Patrick Goswitz, who invited porn star Cherry Morgan to a formal dance this weekend. 

This is what a legendary legend looks like.
  • This is what a legendary legend looks like.

"UT fraternity brother declared ‘a legend’ for date with porn star," was originally published by the Knoxville News Sentinel and tells the touching story of young Goswitz who was, in fact, described as a "legend," as a result of his date with Morgan, the Knoxville-based actress famous for appearing in adult films where, like many porn stars, she gives blowjobs to plumbers, pizza guys and other dudes who deliver.  (WARNING: LINK VERY NSFW).

"Goswitz told [Dan] Regester [of the website Total Frat Move] via an Instagram interview uploaded on TFM that he had invited Morgan to the formal via a message on Facebook and she sent him "her digits" and accepted."

The saga of Goswitz and Morgan is told using quotes from blogs and social media and is most notable for containing the worst sentence in the history of print journalism: "Goswitz told [Dan] Regester [of the website Total Frat Move] via an Instagram interview uploaded on TFM that he had invited Morgan to the formal via a message on Facebook and she sent him "her digits" and accepted."

As it happens, people with internet connections and Google alerts for Cherry Morgan had many newsworthy things  to say about the hot date. One person wrote, "Atta boy." Another said, "Lucky guy!" A third anonymous commenter wrote "Good for him," while a somewhat sadder post read, "I would consider myself legendary to even bring a girl to meet my family."

This is easily the greatest thing the CA has published since yesterday's breaking story about how how nicotine makes it hard to quit smoking. 


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Thursday, November 19, 2015

The Tennessean Embeds Secret Message in URL

Posted By on Thu, Nov 19, 2015 at 2:33 PM

It may have been an accident, but it's not wrong.

UPDATE: To find out what went wrong and how it was fixed (sort of) here's your click. 

Monday, August 31, 2015

When Dave Brown Met Batman.

Posted By on Mon, Aug 31, 2015 at 11:00 AM


It's WMC weatherman  and wrestling host Dave Brown's last day on the job. He'll be missed for many reasons. In addition to weather reporting he was a disc jockey, and hosted local TV shows like Dialing for Dollars. But this is how your Pesky Fly chooses to remember him— moderating a squabble between Jerry Lawler and Adam West.   

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Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Doggie Style: Getting Down With Jason Miles. Again.

Posted By on Wed, Aug 5, 2015 at 3:36 PM

At this point, I'm reasonably sure that a certain WMC reporter is just trolling.

Jason Miles in a doggie door
  • Jason Miles in a doggie door

Friday, July 31, 2015

Jason Miles Under A Building

Posted By on Fri, Jul 31, 2015 at 10:00 AM

Fly on the Wall has chronicled the many faces of WMC's excitable news reporter Jason Miles.

We've shown you Jason Miles under a car. 


We've shown you Jason Miles under a car on a cake.


We've shown you Lego Jason Miles.


And we've even shown you Lego Jason Miles under a car.


Now, fresh from his Twitter feed, here's Jason Miles under a building.


Will some less lazy person please photoshop Jason under a building under a car on a cake? Bonus points if it's lego Jason Miles chest-bumping a cop under a building, under a car, on a cake. Just do your best. Like Jason. When he gets under stuff. 

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Zombie Piano-Tuning Movie, Now Available Online

Posted By on Tue, Jul 28, 2015 at 4:29 PM

Ready for my closeup.
  • Ready for my closeup.

Have you ever wanted to see your Pesky Fly do a bad Charles Kuralt impersonation in a movie about capitalism, apocalypse, and zombie piano tuners? If so, your weird, weird ship has finally come in. After finishing its national film festival tour, Songs in the Key of Death has come home to Memphis and is now available online. I'm embedding the trailer below, but the full movie— all 14-glorious minutes of it— can be watched here. Enjoy.  

Other Memphis-based entertainment media featured in this Edward Valibus short include the Commercial Appeal's Jon Sparks, and Mz. Checking-on-the-Arts, Kacky Walton.

Seems like a pretty good gamble on publicity, no?

Friday, June 19, 2015

Guns & Money: Media Questions Gun Access, Takes Advertising Dollars

Posted By on Fri, Jun 19, 2015 at 2:12 PM

By now you've probably seen this image.

If you haven't, yes. You're seeing things correctly. That's a sticker ad for a gun shop just above the Charleston Post and Courier's headline about the gun slaughter of nine innocents. It's a pretty tone deaf move on behalf of the paper.

Please understand. I get it. Newspapers have a lot of moving parts and sometimes you end up with unfortunate juxtapositions. Just last year a cover story I wrote about First Congo Church hit the streets with a fairly graphic ad sticker for picking up dog waste slapped on top. In spite of my best efforts to depict the congregation in a good light, I felt like I'd spread dog crap all over the sanctuary. I felt terrible but advertising money pays my mortgage, so I apologized to everybody, and moved on.


Often — and for very good reasons— advertising and editorial departments stay out of each other's business. But this. This is different.  Every example of gun violence sells more guns. Big money. Plenty to spread around. And it's being spread around. At least the Commercial Appeal ...


... put their full page gun ad on page 13. 


Friday, May 15, 2015

Not Another "Thrill is Gone" Headline

Posted By on Fri, May 15, 2015 at 1:31 PM

To take nothing away from Bob Mehr's actual reporting, the headline for this B.B. King teaser is one example of why I sing the blues. 


A Different Kind of Car Jacking

Posted By on Fri, May 15, 2015 at 12:56 PM

Florida Man's really got nothing on Tennessee Man. At least not if the latter is from Memphis, anyway. To wit (as they say), included among the most circulated news stories in the Bluff City this week, was this item about a naked car driver who enjoys it when people take videos.

According to various reports, Mr. Naked Car-Driving-Man also likes touching himself. 
From WMC: 

Memphis police officers are on the lookout for a man who people say is creeping out drivers by driving naked while pleasuring himself.

Last month, Allyson Duckworth spotted a man she says was driving naked. She says the man had on nothing but sunglasses and a hat. She also says the man was touching himself. She spotted him at Highland and Poplar Avenue.

"It still bothers me,” says Allyson Duckworth, who had grabbed her camera and started recording the man's actions. "When I started videoing him, he really enjoyed that, I think he wants to be seen and wants to be found."
One photo of the suspect shows a man committing "the same act," wearing woman's shoes and nothing else. Which is perfectly understandable considering just how sexy the right pair of shoes can make you feel. 

In an unrelated story a WMC reporter told viewers about a child thrown from the roof of a car on Mud Island while standing on the roof of a car. Because... we give up.

Monday, May 4, 2015

The Howling Monkey Reads The Comics: 5/3/15

Posted By on Mon, May 4, 2015 at 9:11 AM

The Howling Monkey Reads The Comics is a public service to you, in which we explain why the Sunday funnies are, well, funny.  This thrilling edition of The Howling Monkey Reads The Comics includes bags of milk, jigsaw puzzles, mythology and a man who smells bad!  Enjoy it, won't you?  (You won't).

Joey Hack is a regular contributor to Fly On The Wall, and is a member of The Wiseguys improv troupe.

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Thursday, April 30, 2015

Everything is Awesome: Meet Lego Jason Miles

Posted By on Thu, Apr 30, 2015 at 11:27 AM


Fly on the Wall has chronicled the many faces of WMC's excitable news reporter Jason Miles

We've shown you Jason Miles under a car


We've shown you Jason Miles under a car on a cake.


Now, fresh from his Twitter profile, here's Lego Jason Miles.


Will some less lazy person please photoshop this Jason under a car? Please?

Monday, April 27, 2015

Smoked Meats: Memphis' Crack for Lunch Meat Story Gets the WTFark Treatment

Posted By on Mon, Apr 27, 2015 at 10:19 PM

"Hey, you look like the kind of guy who might trade $50,000 worth of lunch meat for some crack cocaine."
  • "Hey, you look like the kind of guy who might trade $50,000 worth of lunch meat for some crack cocaine."

Last week Memphis Flyer reporter Toby Sells told the gripping tale of Larry Ron Bowen, the Arkansas truck driver who traded a tractor trailer load of lunch meat for an undisclosed amount of crack cocaine. The story was picked by various other national and international news outlets, but nobody told it better than the satirical online news content generator WTFark.


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Friday, April 10, 2015

This is TV News

Posted By on Fri, Apr 10, 2015 at 3:39 PM

Classic Joe
  • Classic Joe

WMC's Joe Birch needs to have a serious heart to heart with his scriptwriter. Or maybe high camp is what Action News 5 is going for these days. 

Here's a Birch sample from Tuesday's newscast: "A fight. People run over. Crashes... a video so shocking WMC Action News 5's Jerry Askin searched for some answers."

By "searching for answers" the famously helmet-haired anchor meant that the reporter asked random people what they thought about a thinly-sourced YouTube video. The clip in question seemed to show a fight and people being intentionally hit by cars. You can watch the weird reaction vid here. 

Classic camp
  • Classic camp

Or you can just hang out here and marvel at the headline. 


Monday, February 16, 2015

Mega-Fail: The New Memphis Welcome Sign is NSFW

Posted By on Mon, Feb 16, 2015 at 9:57 AM

  • S

So, are we the only dirty minded people who read the Commercial Appeal story "Memphis' New Signs Beckon I-40 Travelers" and thought, "Wait a minute, are those dildos up there?"

Because, you've got to admit, in addition to being an ugly sign generally, those alleged music notes up top, sure do look an awful lot like dildos

L to R: Dildos, Detail from the new Memphis welcome sign.
  • L to R: Dildos, Detail from the new Memphis welcome sign.

UPDATE: What's seen can not be unseen. Maybe this is our Mt. Rushmore. Those dildos need names. Maybe even faces. Suggestions? 

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

A Closer Look at the Satanic School Bus Photo

Posted By on Wed, Jan 14, 2015 at 3:03 PM

Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's time to call the Ghostbusters

Hell on Wheels
  • Hell on Wheels

If you haven't seen WMC's amazingly dumb report about Satanic school bus brake lights, do yourself a favor. For my money the best part is when anchorman Joe Birch reminds us that, "the Devil's in the details." 

Indeed he is Joe. Indeed he is. 

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