Memphisness

Friday, June 19, 2015

Help Fly on the Wall Reunite Lost Hairpieces With Their Owners

Posted By on Fri, Jun 19, 2015 at 11:55 AM

We've all seen them. The flipped wig. The tumbling tumbleweave. So many hairpieces separated from their owners. Lying in some public place like a dead animal. The time has come to do something about it. Fly on the Wall is reaching out to readers and asking them not to ignore all this senseless hair loss. If you see a lost wig, or some lonely extensions, take a picture and send it to us. We'll post it in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, we can reunite some good people with their good hair. 

Just this past week I saw two heartbreaking examples of lost hair. The first was on Main St. Downtown. 

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I don't know who this Zellner guy is, but I'm pretty sure he's bragging.

This whopper is an Uptown wig. Or maybe a Schnauzer. Spotted just behind Sun Trust bank. 

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If this is your hair or you know who it belongs to, contact Fly on the Wall. If we can, we'll give you some idea as to where the hair was last seen. We can't guarantee a successful reunion because none of us are touching that. 

Thursday, June 11, 2015

Take One More Ride on the Zippin Pippin!

Posted By on Thu, Jun 11, 2015 at 11:54 AM

A kingly thrill
  • A kingly thrill

Libertyland is long gone and the Zippin Pippin was relocated to Bay Beach Amusement Park in Wisconsin in 2010. But you can still buy a t-shirt, and now, thanks to this video by Theme Park Review, you can ride Elvis Presley's favorite roller coaster without having to visit Scott Walker country. 

Elvis Presley's Favorite Roller Coaster! The Zippin Pippin originally built in 1912 at Libertyland in Memphis was been re-built at Bay Beach Amusement Park in Wisconsin in 2010! The legend lives on!

Posted by Theme Park Review on Monday, June 8, 2015

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

U.S. Postal Service Issues Neverending Elvis Stamp

Posted By on Wed, Jun 3, 2015 at 12:27 PM

Old young Elvis stamp
  • Old young Elvis stamp


Okay, okay, it's technically a "forever" stamp. Same idea.
U.S. Postal Service will dedicate the new Elvis Presley forever stamp August 12. At Graceland. During Elvis Week. Can we get a "hell yeah," and an "American Trilogy," please?

#TYTYVM

Presley is only the sixth inductee in the USPS Music Icon Series, but the second Sun Studio recording artist. Johnny Cash became a forever stamp in 2013. Other icons in the series include Ray Charles, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, and Lydia Mendoza.  

Stamp in Black
  • Stamp in Black


Postmaster General Megan Brennan says a preview of the stamp will be available at a later date. 

Press release boilerplate from Brennan:

“Elvis is a natural addition to our Music Icon Series. His life and talents are an incredible story. Spanning from his humble beginnings in a Tupelo, Mississippi, two-room house to becoming one of the most legendary performance artists of the 20th Century, Elvis Presley’s works continues to resonate with millions the world over.”

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The obvious hashtag for tweeting and such: #ElvisForever.



Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Why Do Memphis Police Streams and Ambient Music Sound So Good Together?

Posted By on Wed, May 27, 2015 at 6:12 PM

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Have you ever wished that you could relax while feeding your crippling paranoia? If so, then you need to tune into You Are Listening to Memphis. Seriously, click that link.

The "You Are Listening to" project mixes live police streams, from a variety of North American cities, with nature sounds and moody new age music. 

"You Are Listening To" has been around for about four years, but I thought I'd share anyway for the uninitiated. It's weirdness worth knowing about. 


Friday, May 15, 2015

A Different Kind of Car Jacking

Posted By on Fri, May 15, 2015 at 12:56 PM

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Florida Man's really got nothing on Tennessee Man. At least not if the latter is from Memphis, anyway. To wit (as they say), included among the most circulated news stories in the Bluff City this week, was this item about a naked car driver who enjoys it when people take videos.

According to various reports, Mr. Naked Car-Driving-Man also likes touching himself. 
From WMC: 

Memphis police officers are on the lookout for a man who people say is creeping out drivers by driving naked while pleasuring himself.

Last month, Allyson Duckworth spotted a man she says was driving naked. She says the man had on nothing but sunglasses and a hat. She also says the man was touching himself. She spotted him at Highland and Poplar Avenue.

"It still bothers me,” says Allyson Duckworth, who had grabbed her camera and started recording the man's actions. "When I started videoing him, he really enjoyed that, I think he wants to be seen and wants to be found."
One photo of the suspect shows a man committing "the same act," wearing woman's shoes and nothing else. Which is perfectly understandable considering just how sexy the right pair of shoes can make you feel. 

In an unrelated story a WMC reporter told viewers about a child thrown from the roof of a car on Mud Island while standing on the roof of a car. Because... we give up.
 

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Mystery of Memphis' Tri-Phallic Welcome Sign Explained

Posted By on Wed, May 13, 2015 at 2:32 PM

Shitty aritst's enhancement
  • Shitty aritst's enhancement

Fly on the Wall recently observed that the three note logo on Memphis' new welcome sign looks an awful lot like a bunch of dingalings.  

Here they are once again, just for reference. 

Dingalings
  • Dingalings

Since Bass Pro opened in Memphis' long abandoned Pyramid, the internet has been awash in new pictures of the skyline, and every photo seems to teach the Bluff City a little something new about itself. This image, for example, seems to suggest that the phallic nature of the welcome sign may not have been an accident. For so it was written in prophecies of old, "When three cocks crow over the Memphis sunset, then will the giant asphalt spermatozoa reveal itself."

STOLEN FROM THE INTERNET FOR THE BETTERMENT OF MANKIND
  • Stolen from the internet for the betterment of mankind

I think it's time to bring back the crystal Skull, people. 

Who doesn't like a little head?
  • Who doesn't like a little head?

Thursday, April 30, 2015

Everything is Awesome: Meet Lego Jason Miles

Posted By on Thu, Apr 30, 2015 at 11:27 AM

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Fly on the Wall has chronicled the many faces of WMC's excitable news reporter Jason Miles

We've shown you Jason Miles under a car

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We've shown you Jason Miles under a car on a cake.

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Now, fresh from his Twitter profile, here's Lego Jason Miles.

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Will some less lazy person please photoshop this Jason under a car? Please?

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Play Pac Man on the Streets of Memphis

Posted By on Wed, Apr 1, 2015 at 9:15 AM

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You can play Pac Man on a map of Memphis (or anywhere you like) right now.

Just point your browser to Google Maps and look for the Pac Man box at the lower left-hand corner. Click it. Follow the simple instructions and you’re ready to munch those Pac-Man pellets.

In the video below, Pac-Man’s doing what Pac-Man does on the Downtown streets around Union and Riverside Drive.


Monday, February 16, 2015

Mega-Fail: The New Memphis Welcome Sign is NSFW

Posted By on Mon, Feb 16, 2015 at 9:57 AM


ARRRGGH! - S
  • S
  • ARRRGGH!

So, are we the only dirty minded people who read the Commercial Appeal story "Memphis' New Signs Beckon I-40 Travelers" and thought, "Wait a minute, are those dildos up there?"

Because, you've got to admit, in addition to being an ugly sign generally, those alleged music notes up top, sure do look an awful lot like dildos

L to R: Dildos, Detail from the new Memphis welcome sign.
  • L to R: Dildos, Detail from the new Memphis welcome sign.


UPDATE: What's seen can not be unseen. Maybe this is our Mt. Rushmore. Those dildos need names. Maybe even faces. Suggestions? 

Sunday, February 1, 2015

A Business Model With Legs... and Thighs... and Wings.

Posted By on Sun, Feb 1, 2015 at 5:39 PM

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At this past week's Board of Adjustment meeting, board members reviewed a request from what appears to be payday loan establishment that offers a little something extra.

And by "a little something extra" I mean chicken. 

14. DOCKET: B.O.A. 14-72 (City)
LOCATION: 5411 Elvis Presley Blvd.
APPLICANT: Chicken and Checks, LLC
USE DISTRICT: Commercial Mixed Use-3 (CMU-3) District
REQUEST: Variance to allow a payday loan establishment within 1,320-feet of a residential district and within 1,000 feet of an existing payday loan establishment (UDC Subsection 2.6.3M(1&2). 

That's right folks. Chicken.  And checks. Where you can cash your payday loan check and, presumably, get some chicken. 

May God and Jack Pirtle have mercy on our souls. 

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

A Closer Look at the Satanic School Bus Photo

Posted By on Wed, Jan 14, 2015 at 3:03 PM

Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's time to call the Ghostbusters

Hell on Wheels
  • Hell on Wheels

If you haven't seen WMC's amazingly dumb report about Satanic school bus brake lights, do yourself a favor. For my money the best part is when anchorman Joe Birch reminds us that, "the Devil's in the details." 

Indeed he is Joe. Indeed he is. 
 

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

#Wigsnatch Revisited: Justin Timberlake's Tweet Turned Into Fancy Needlework

Posted By on Tue, Jan 13, 2015 at 1:19 PM

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Last fall your Pesky Fly flagged a digital dustup between Justin Timberlake and a Twitter critic who accused J-Tim of being a fair weather Grizzlies fan. Timberlake responded to the dismissive tweet noting that he was from Memphis and owned a piece of the Grizzlies, concluding with the colorful idiom "#Wigsnatch."

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Thanks to the remarkable talents of Memphis artist Carly Crawford this TimberTweet has been reproduced in cross stitch. 



Standing up in my cubicle. 



Slow. Clap. 


Wednesday, January 7, 2015

One of the more disturbing images you'll see this week.

Posted By on Wed, Jan 7, 2015 at 5:00 PM

Who's the real lefty?
  • Who's the real lefty?

I know exactly what you're thinking: Man, it sure would be nice if there was someplace on the internet where I could spend hours and hours pouring over the written words of a liberal-hating climate change denier while looking at a picture of the author flying past planets and stars clutching his big Christian-American space-penis.

What, you weren't thinking that? Too bad, because here's a link to Tommy V Talks, the online home of one of Memphis' more outspoken accordion players. 

In this fascinating post Tommy V puts the smackdown on Neil deGrasse Tyson: 

Go ahead charlatan believers of global climate change; behold how that over a few days, with one simple blow of God’s nostrils the water level in Lake Meade has risen dramatically to levels not seen in many years; and the forecast is for even more precipitation out West.


Yeah! Eat God-snot Neil!

Friday, November 7, 2014

Hot Wings Turn Loving Family into Brutal Gladiatorial Combatants

Posted By on Fri, Nov 7, 2014 at 12:24 PM

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Or something like that. Just watch the video...

Argument over hot wings leads to brawl at birthday party

Tags: , ,

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Take a Video Tour of Elmwood Cemetery

Posted By on Thu, Oct 30, 2014 at 5:30 PM

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Filmmaker and occasional Fly on the Wall contributor Edward Valibus has shot and edited a gorgeous video tour of Elmwood Cemetery. Just the thing for these last cool days of October.

Winter is coming. 
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