Well, this was an unexpected opening quotation for page one of the CA's business section...
And yes, tragically, it's a "small business" story.
Sometimes it's best to quote a source indirectly. "Hunt and peck," seems to be the preferred way to describe site-and-stab typing skills. And if poultry's your thing, "chicken peck typing" might also used.
Frequent Flyer contributor J.D. Reager isn't just a great music journalist and guitar hero. He's also the guy who documented the existence of a unique eggplant from the Poplar Plaza Kroger. Some have compared it to Squidward from SpongeBob SquarePants. But I've been calling it "The David."