Thursday, July 9, 2009
Columnist Seeks Fellow Sports Failures
Posted by John Branston on Thu, Jul 9, 2009 at 4:00 AM
It's a small sport, but it's a big nation.
My goal is to win the national squash championship in the over-60 division next year. Easier said than done, I know.
What's your sport and what's your athletic quest? And what are you doing about it?
This column is about playing sports and probably not the ones we grew up playing in school. It's about competition, failure, and redemption, getting worse and then getting better, getting fat and getting fit — all in pursuit of a higher level of mediocrity.
I'm not a sportswriter, but I've played sports almost my whole life. So have my wife and children. As I look at my phone and e-mail contacts, I'm struck by how many of them I got to know through sports. Our sports keep us healthy, sane, and connected.
If this column helps Get Memphis Moving, that's fine, but plenty of Memphians are moving already, like the thousand or so who run past my house every year in the Memphis marathon. Incredible.
Many of us get daily reminders in our knees, hips, and shoulders that we might not have that many shopping days until Christmas.
My strategy is part athletic and part actuarial. One of the secrets of age-group competition is playing your division the first year you are eligible, taking on your elders before your betters can catch up to you. If you can't beat them, outlast them or outlive them.
Whatever sport you're passionate about, I am that rare person who really does want to hear your war stories, training tips, and setbacks. Ever rolled a four-foot putt three feet past the hole, double-faulted on set point, clanged a clutch free throw, or finished last by half a lap? Did you try again and succeed at something else? Would you rather play a sport, any sport, than watch pros or shamateurs? I want your story and comments.
Be warned that I'll be telling you mine. Just don't tell me that I'm unfit to carry so-and-so's jock. I know. I tried.
John Branston writes the "City Beat" column and is working on a book about ordinary people who become extraordinary age-group athletes. He will play any sport, except soccer, that involves a ball.
Comments (6)
Showing 1-6 of 6
My first sport was soccer. It's the obligatory game of suburbia children...necessary to make early friendships and learn about teamwork. Necessary for the entire family in fact. How else would mothers learn to cut "soccer mom oranges"...coordinate mass carpools in mini-vans...and perfect the shrill side line scream? Yet, I was not so enthused. "What an awful game," I thought. Sweat, dirt, scrapes, bruises, a pathetic and unflattern uniform...and those digusting organges...who needs it?! I found my rightful place in the far corner of the field...where the ball never came...where my shins would be safe. I traveled to every game...that's what you do when you're a team player! I ate every organge given to me...I put my hand in the center for ever huddle. So according to my standards...at FIVE years old...I was PLAYING....and WELL. Then came the last game of the season. For whatever reason...I decided to make a 'go' for the ball...give that whole "kicking" thing a try. I ran...I made contact...a break-away!! My little legs ran full speed down the field...the other kids...left behind in my dust. Aim...kick...GOALLLL!!!!!! And the crowd went wild...with laughter. Because on my first conact with the ball I had scored a goal...in my OWN teams net. During our team pizza party when every little tyke got a trophy for participation, our coach stood up and said something great about each kid. Standing, he called my name and a trotted up in front of the group with my pizza grease stained face and proudly gleamed...I was ready for his long speach about my accomplishments. He held up the trophy...looked down at me and said, "Casey Roman...CUTE!" So that was my big sports failure John. But if you ask me...being "Casey Roman Cute" has gotten me WAY farther in life than being "Casey Roman de Futbol." And so I VERY proudly share this story with you :-)
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Bravo John... anything to keep us off the streets. On the other hand, a Memphian is more likely to sustain a serious injury on the field of sport than on a city street. That's reassuring for a change. Maybe I'll just resume long walks again. Is there an age group category for than? What's interesting about your reference to sports involving a ball. Those are just the ones at which I failed miserably. And there aren't too many "ball-less" sports left over. I'm too weak to wrestle, sink when I swim and the venue for darts is far too smoky. As Hick Ewing told me while on the U of M Law School flag ball team,"Keltner... you're fast a hell and I would like to throw you the ball but you've got hands like a clock. Just run your decoy route, again." Heck, I ran against O.J.,of course he "dropped the ball" as well. Press on John, inspire me !
Sports runs deep in my life as well. Most of my long lasting friendships were built around people I got to know through them. I started out playing soccer as a tot and quit that in second grade. Coach always put me in full back position which meant not much action since our team was really good. Played baseball for 6 years until all the other boys were getting better then me and a lot bigger.
Our family moved to Newport Beach, CA when I was 13. I traded in my glove for a surfboard and skateboard and never looked back at team sports except for volleyball. Surfing and skating were full-on addictions for me during that time.
My 8 year old boy loves swimmnig and my 4 year old is already skating.
I am still skating strong and hope to bring the skating bug to Memphis for both the young and old.
My worst injuries in sports have always been in team sports from collisions with others. I have yet to be seriously injured from the more "extreme sports."
Getting older in sports for me means lots of stretching since it seems the lower back is starting to complain and pulled on occasion- about once a year I pull my back.
Thanks for starting the blog John!
It's your blog fearless leader. I need to hear how your Quest is going to stay motivated. Since having made my single post, I'm thinking more about the idea. (age bracket competition.) I've seen an increase in my zeal level in my weight training program. One only started a few weeks before your article.
I'm days away from the launch of my running program. I still want to partner with you here on the blog but let me in on your milepost management. Maybe a few of us would even show up to offer support.
At 62 I m too late to sneak up on the guys in the 60's bracket of Masters Track and Field ( had it planned at one point). Oh well... watch me at 65! I'm blessed by holding on my college runnig weight at 174. Albeit, the six pack lines have given in to a tray of three tomatoes.
I really don't like running but "she be the one what brought me" Guess she is calling. Either, Twain or Rogers said, "Even if your on the right track, if you just sit there, you'll get run over." "Life is not about standing still." I do know who said that.
You and Loren Roberts (and young Wittenberg), go get'um.
steve: Milepost management started around January 1st. Nationals were in March when ineligible for 60s, next one will be in early 2010. But there's a tournament in Atlanta this month that will give me a read on the competition. Several age-group champions have come from Atlanta area. I'm losing more than I'm winning lately in local games, but satisfied with progress,and usually giving away 10-30 years. Down about five pounds from the start of the year and up 10 percent in strength. Stamina OK, measured by running the court end to end for one minute. The mental edge is hard to measure. On a good day, all balls are gettable or within a step. Bill Tanner used to say you can get to just about all those balls if you want to, and he was right. Flexibility is poor, especially in knees. May get a cortisone shot. Any experience with that? Given a choice of instant gain in strength, flexibility, quickness, or strokes, I would take quickness. If I can get to the ball I can hit the shot I want.
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