Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Google is My Brain
Posted by Bruce VanWyngarden on Wed, Dec 9, 2009 at 3:46 PM
So, things were a little slow around here at lunchtime. I was kicked back at my desk with my laptop on, well, my lap, daydreaming. But daydreaming now is different than it was 10 years ago. It's more results oriented. That's because my brain is so much bigger. Google-big. Here's an example:
I got an email from a former colleague, a fellow I worked with in Pittsburgh. He was just checking in, not much news, happy holidays and such. But that email exchange got me thinking about another colleague from back in the day, a guy I hadn't heard from or thought about in 15 years. Pre-Google, my thoughts would have gone like this: Hmmm. Wonder what ever happened to ol' Vince? Did he divorce that hellcat he was married to? Did he stop drinking? Is he still taking pictures? Huh. Oh well.
And that would have pretty much been it. I would have soon moved on to other thoughts — or even done something productive. Not in 2009. Now, I Google him, Google-image him. I see if he's on Facebook. Or Linked In. And in fact, he is. There's ol' Vince's entire back-story, with pictures. If I'm feeling like I want to touch base, I can email him, friend him, or even call him, since I now know where he works. I can even drive by his house using Google-map Street View. It's daydreaming with an action plan.
Here's another example: The "Billy Jack" movies of the '70s are sort of a standing joke between me and another old friend. (In case you're wondering, the Billy Jack movies are crummy action flicks directed by, and starring, a guy named Tom Laughlin, who plays a noble, lone-wolf, karate-chopping bad-ass aka Billy Jack.) At any rate, my friend called, and before he hung up, he made a passing reference to Born Losers, perhaps one of the stupidest flicks ever made. In it, Billy Jack single-handedly fights off a biker gang and rescues a chick who spends most of the movie riding around on a motorcycle in a white bikini, trying to escape the bad guys. My friend made some crack about wondering what bikini chick's name was and where she was today. "Probably, a grandmother," he laughed. Maybe so, I thought.
Once upon a time, I would have hung up the phone, and maybe pondered who the white-bikini-chick was for a minute, then moved on to other things. Not with Google-daydreaming! It's results-oriented and action-packed! A quick visit to IMDB.com gives me the actress' name — Elizabeth James — and her meager film resume: Born Losers and Crazy Mary Dirty Larry. A google image search turns up a picture of Elizabeth in her white bikini next to her motorcycle. Aaaaand, in the process, I've managed to waste 20 minutes.
We are — those of us sitting behind a computer all day, at least — blessed (and cursed) with the luxury of being able to tap into the entirety of mankind's knowledge in seconds — from trivial minutiae to the deepest philosophical questions. If we have a question about something, we can learn the answer immediately. Never before in human history has so much knowledge been so available to so many so quickly. Learning has never been easier. But by making learning easier are we appreciating it less? I don't know. Thinking, unfortunately, is just as difficult as it's always been.
Which makes me wonder if there have been any studies on the impact of Google on human thought processes ... Hmmm, I should probably Google that.
Comments (20)
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"Aaaaand, in the process, I've managed to waste 20 minutes." Shucks, Bruce, we can't have sex 24/7/365. At least, *I* can't. YMMV. Google and Wikipedia are the next best things, brain food in the league of great food and great drugs. BTW, it's Wikipedia fund-raising campaign time.
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Bruce, not only have The Husband and I Googled white bikini girl, we also searched (not at the same time, mind you) "nude motorcycle rider" Gilda Texeter from "Vanishing Point". Now that I write that it sounds a little creepy, but it was more like, hey, wonder if those women ever did anything else? In an ironic twist, Gilda Texeter is best known as a costume supervisor for such productions as "Romancing the Stone", "Herbie Fully Loaded" and "Gray's Anatomy".
So, you know, I'm not one to judge the places Google takes you.
hmm, i just googled "girl from zabriskie point" and found out she was in some cult movies that i'm downloading now--long live the net!
The original Billy Jack wasn't THAT bad. At least it provided us with "One Tin Soldier".
The guy that introduced me to Billy Jack was a buddy just back from Vietnam. He used to sit in our apartment watching it all night while smoking giant spliffs and singing "One Tin Soldier." There were times I was afraid he was going to go out and kill somebody, but he got through it all okay. Now we laugh about it.
But you've all got to admit, "Honey I Shrunk Billy Jack" was the best. Okay, I just made that up, but wouldn't it be awesome?
And Merc, Born Losers IS the original Billy Jack film. It came out in '67, while Billy Jack (the best known of the 4-film series) came out in 1971 and again in '73. I saw it the second time around (back seat of a '67 Dodge Charger) when my parents let me go with them to the drive in. It's the first R-rated film I ever saw. Second R-rated film: Fantastic Planet, also from 1973. I was 6.
I re-watched Born Losers about a month ago and fell in love with its awfulness all over again. The Trial of Billy Jack is LONG and only occasionally worth the effort--but when it pays off, it pays off. I've never seen Billy Jack Goes to Washington. Maybe someday.
Well, supporting actor Oscar anyways. A tight race with Howard Hesseman. And your piece is spot-on, Bruce. Google is truly a wonder. The world's largest library, only the books you're looking for are never checked out.
"I'm gonna take this right foot, and I'm gonna whop you on that side of your face...and you wanna know something? There's not a damn thing you're gonna be able to do about it."
But I still want me a Billy Jack hat.
CD - Did not know that about the original movie. I'll have to see if I can find it somewhere
Jeff - I almost quoted that line in my first post
Bruce - who'd have ever thought that there would be a market for Billy Jack Hats!?!?
Interesting little game he's got going here...
http://billyjack.com/index.php?menuID=Page…
Now, back to work for me.
Aw man. Billy Jack is so BAD ASS. His website covers every frikkin thing! Dreams, Iraq War, Sex and Eros, Public Option Healthcare.
I love Billy Jack.
Billy Jack always reminds me of my other fav that kicked butt...
Kwai Chang Caine. Oh yeaha. Google that.
Speaking of kicking butt, can someone kick her butt for doing this?...
http://vodpod.com/watch/2088930-cher-one-t…
I could have gone the rest of my life without having heard that and been all the better for it.
Master Po: [after easily defeating the boy in combat] Ha, ha, never assume because a man has no eyes he cannot see. Close your eyes. What do you hear?
Young Caine: I hear the water, I hear the birds.
Master Po: Do you hear your own heartbeat?
Young Caine: No.
Master Po: Do you hear the grasshopper that is at your feet?
Young Caine: [looking down and seeing the insect] Old man, how is it that you hear these things?
Master Po: Young man, how is it that you do not?
Young Caine: Because Cher won't shut the f*** up.
The film 'Billy Jack' deserves to be remembered for its blending of hippy pacifism and feel good philosophies with some truly satisfying ass whipping of various uninformed locals who truly deserved it... a satisfying blend of revenge and rectitude.
The others not so much...
But in the interest of continuity, it should be noted that Billy Jack himself never delivered the first 'karate chop'.
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