Thursday, March 3, 2011

Tennessee's Number One! In Meth Labs.

Posted By on Thu, Mar 3, 2011 at 9:58 AM

It took a number of years to get there, but Tennessee has finally knocked reigning national champion Missouri out of the top spot for the annual number of meth lab busts. The 2010 numbers aren't final yet, but Tennessee blew past its longtime rival to the north, setting a new national record in the process.

Missouri, the defending national champion since 2003, just couldn't hang with the Volunteer State in 2010. Experts say they think Tennessee's growing population of moronic rednecks, as evidenced in the newly elected legislators now running Nashville, will make the state a top contender for years to come. It's well known that meth addicts don't adhere to Shariah law, like to carry guns, and don't like immigrants, so they've got lots of friends in the state capital, which bodes well for a title defense in 2011.

"Sure, these meth labs can be dangerous," said Luther "Corndog" Williams (R-Buggtussle), "but we're not gonna make any laws restricting free enterprise on this American's watch. Besides, we've got to get this Obamacare thing overturned right away, before the gay, abortion-lovin', Kenya muslins take our guns."

Read the glorious details of our rise to the top of the national rankings here.

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