by Paul Gerald
should be ashamed
of all the fun I had in Miami.
It all started at a place called Tobacco Road, the oldest bar in Miami. It has a palm-tree-lined patio that on a 60-degree Friday night in March was jammed with tanned, fit young people. Bodies moved to a reggae/steel-drum band, trees swayed in the breeze, beer and food specials abounded, and phone numbers were exchanged.
It was
just another Friday night in Miami -- except in the summer those will be
90-degree nights. And yet, about the time the clubbers go to sleep, fishermen
and boaters will be getting up to go out on the water. During the day the
golf courses are in perfect shape, the wind pushes sailboats all over Biscayne
Bay, and people play Frisbee golf in seaside parks.
In other words, it's easy to get caught up in Life in Miami.
Just about 50 years ago, most of Miami was a swamp, and much of it still is -- enough to fill several days with canoeing, fishing, and air-boat touring. Three friends and I rented canoes just outside Everglades National Park for $9 per person and followed a tide-current up Half-Way Creek, through mangrove tunnels, to a sprawling, island-filled lake. The air and trees were full of herons, pelicans, and egrets, and fish jumped out of the water all around us. The only alligators we saw were from the car, which suited us just fine.
Across the Glades, a two-hour drive on a road that has about three turns and a high point of less than 20 feet, is Naples, huge in the golfing and retirement world, with a classy, old-style downtown filled with nice shops and fancy, outdoor-seating restaurants. We chose a seafood place out on the docks, in a scene more our age, and chowed mightily on a dozen different critters of the sea.
Miami doesn't even seem like part of the United States. It's the capital of the Spanish-speaking Western Hemisphere. The ratio of salsa to oldies on the radio runs about five to one. Little Havana is 50 blocks by 10 blocks of Cuban culture, where you can draw cash from (actual names in Spanish) the Bank of the Holy Spirit and shop at the Grocery Store of the Immaculate Conception. I asked one guy how many Cubans live in Miami, and he said, "About half of them."
I drove out to Key Largo, mostly to say I did it and to say I had Key Lime Pie in the Keys. I recommend going farther than Key Largo, although Coral Reef State Park offers diving and snorkeling and tours in a glass-bottomed boat. When people who are into fishing, being on the water in general, or just completely hanging out with no direction or plan talk about the Florida Keys, their eyes glaze over.
My last night in Miami, I acted on the advice of roughly a dozen people who had heard I was coming to town: I ate at Joe's Stone Crabs.
I could not overstate the efficiency of the staff, the luxury of the surroundings, the taste of the crab claws. I don't even like crab meat, yet I was prepared to kill my companion, if necessary, to get my full share. It ain't cheap: Large crab claws for two, two side dishes, one beer, and two slices of pie ca-chinged at $93 pre-tip. So eat at Joe's (I always wanted to say that), but be warned: It's closed May through October, when there are no stone crabs.
When our trip to Dining Nirvana was over, we loosened our belts a notch, rolled down the windows, and headed for Miami Beach. Miami Beach by day is white sandy beaches, clear-blue skies, and a National Art Deco Historic District. When we went, around 11 at night, the clubs and restaurants were just starting to heat up. There was a guy playing classical Spanish guitar on a stage right on the sidewalk. He did it with the gusto of somebody in Guns N' Roses, but with moves.Tables line the fronts of the buildings, sleek cars adorn the curb, the beach is maybe 100 yards across a park, and hard-bodied people are everywhere. Miami Beach is an all-senses experience.
Go to South Florida. Just remember to leave your sense of shame at home. n
Essential Web information: http://www.miamiandbeaches.com/ or Yahoo search for "Miami City Guides." Essential phone number: 800-753-8448.