by Tim Sampson thursday, july 22 I'm sitting at my desk on a Sunday, eating some nasty microwaved soup out of a bowl inscribed with the words "Save World Sanity One Laugh at a Time," reading about Cher planting look-alike drag queens in the audience at her shows pretending to be fans (I think all that plastic surgery has made her go a little off the deep end), reading about how eating lots of tuna can cure manic depression (and knowing you must have to eat a lot, because I eat it all the time and it hasn't helped me a bit), trying to think of something even remotely humorous to write about, and all I want to do is just cry my eyes out about John Kennedy Jr. and his wife and sister-in-law dying in that plane crash. Why in the world did that have to happen? Why do so many bad things have to happen to so many good people? I still can't believe it, and I think to even attempt to joke about anything on this page right now would be in really poor taste, even for me, so the regular column will be back next week. Here's what's going on around town. Tonight, if you feel like a trip to Tunica, Boz Scaggs is at the Grand Casino, while Pat Benatar (fabulous) is at the Horseshoe Casino. Here in town, Little Jimmy King is at B.B. King's (hopefully accompanied by those kids who flip around in the air); the Dempseys are across the street at Elvis Presley's Memphis; the Dealers are playing the Sunset Serenade party on The Peabody's Plantation Rooftop; the Kudzu Kings are at Young Avenue Deli; and Di Anne Price is at In The Grove. friday, july 23 And there's more live music all over the place. The Misfits with Earth Crisis are playing at the New Daisy; Whitney Houston (tired) is at the Mid-South Coliseum; Rick Springfield is at the Gold Strike Casino; Wynonna is at Sam's Town; Jungle Room is at the Hard Rock Café; and Dash Rip Rock and the Subteens are at the new Apocalypse. Also tonight, The Orpheum Summer Movie Series feature is Tootsie. saturday, july 23 If you want to help out a worthy cause and have some fun tonight, go down to the National Ornamental Metal Museum for the WEVL Blues on the Bluff Party, a benefit for the independent local radio station, featuring live music and food from Bayou Bar & Grill. On the other side of downtown, Harry Connick Jr. is at the Mud Island Amphitheatre; Lee Greenwood is at the Hollywood Casino; the Pointer Sisters are at the Horseshoe Casino; there's a Rufus Thomas CD Release Party at Huey's Downtown; at The Map Room there's a show by Eighty Katie; and Drivin' N Cryin' are at Newby's. sunday, july 24 If you want to help another worthy cause and hear some really good music, check out today's Luther Ingram Kidney Transplant Fund Benefit at the Four Points Sheraton Hotel, with performances by Rufus Thomas (that man gets around), Little Milton, the Bar-Kays, Ann Peebles (fabulous), David Porter, Eddie Floyd, J. Blackfoot, Angelic Voices of Faith, and lots of others. For another blast from the past, the Temptations are playing at Sam's Town tonight (where, by the way, Donna Summer tore the house down last week). For you William Faulkner buffs, today kicks off this week's 26th Annual Faulkner and Yoknapatawpha Conference: "Faulkner and Postmodernism" in Oxford, which includes lectures, readings, discussions, displays, films, and more about the author. And if you want to see a wonderful movie, today's French Film Festival feature at The Dixon Gallery and Gardens is Au Revoir Les Infants. monday, july 25 Wine tasting at Jarrett's. Shooter time at Old Zinnie's. Margarita Monday at Molly's. Martini Monday at Side Street. Need I go on? tuesday, july 26 Wine tasting at Cooper Street Bar & Grill. Will & Grace on Channel 5 at 8:30. Or even better, if you haven't seen it yet, you have to go see South Park. There is something in it guaranteed to offend everyone, and it's about the funniest thing to hit a movie screen in a long, long time. wednesday, july 27 Get ready to dance because Caliente is playing at the Hi-Tone Café tonight. And that is simply all I have to say. Except for, as usual, I really don't care what you do this week, because I don't even know you, and unless you can make people stop putting up yellow ribbons, which are ridiculous and are not going to bring him back, I feel certain that I don't ever want to meet you. Now I have to go somewhere else. Bye, John-John.