The Call of the Wild Facts, folklore, and suspicions about the hunter and the hunted. by BOB RUSH Last month, the last Tennessee (modern firearms) deer season of the century began. An estimated 175,000 hunters took to the woods in hopes of bagging “the big one.” The deer hunters’ efforts (and dollars) are largely responsible for the management and well-being of American wildlife today. The robust Tennessee whitetail population (more than 880,000) is a great example. Approximately 55 percent of the hunters will be successful. I find that statistic amazing. Matching wits with a large, mature buck is not as easy as one might think. In fact, the majority (more than 93 percent) of the bucks harvested last season were under 3-and-a-half years old. More than 60 percent will be under 2-and-a-half. It’s Darwinism at its best. The big, smart ones are very difficult to fool. Fact is, only the really stupid ones manage to get themselves shot. My wife came to appreciate deer hunting when I explained that it is usually a slobbering, sex-crazed male, following the scent of a virtuous female, that gets blasted. For some reason, she liked that idea. Deer hunting is big business. Today’s well-equipped “buck buster” must have a multitude of the latest gadgets. Such gear might include a “four-wheeler” ATV, global positioning system (GPS), laser rangefinder, thermal imaging device, electronic scent dispensers, high-tech camouflage clothing, a rifle capable of killing beyond 1,000 yards (although most are killed inside 100 yards), telescopic sights, various cover and attractant scents, bionic ears (sound amplifier), portable climbing stand, and something to carry it all in. Even with all those goodies, the deer still hold all the cards. You have to keep in mind that they live out there — we’re just visiting. There are thousands of organizations, publications, Web sites, and books to teach you everything you need to know. The problem is, the deer don’t read the same material. Consequently, they have no idea what they’re supposed to do. Below, are a few things you should keep in mind when you venture out: * The first key to deer-hunting success is to be where the deer are. Deer have very distinct movement patterns that change with weather, food supply, phases of the moon, rutting (matting) season, and whenever they feel like it. The general pattern is to move at dusk and dawn, and bed down in between. Now you would think that a 140-pound critter would be fairly easy to spot lying in the woods or in a field somewhere. Guess again. * Deer have calendars and they know how to read them. You can walk through the woods before the season starts and have to shoo them out of your way. When the season starts, they go into stealth mode. * Mother Nature gave them some pretty nifty camouflage and nerves of steel. I have walked down a trail only to have a deer suddenly bolt behind me, not 3 feet from where I had just stepped. This was before I needed glasses, too. * A spooked buck will invariably run between you and your $35,000 sport-utility vehicle just to see how bad you really want to shoot him. * Their well-developed sense of smell will force you to bath in exotic concoctions, guaranteed to wipe away any trace of human scent. You will then cover yourself with foul-smelling “cover scents,” such as skunk or fox urine. * Deer also have a complete understanding of weapons and ballistics. If you’re a bow-hunter, and your maximum range is 40 yards, they will always manage to maintain a 50-yard buffer zone. They know the limitations of your equipment better than the manufacturer. * Then there’s that business about checking a buck’s scrapes (a small area pawed on the ground) for signs of fresh urine and feces. This is allegedly a territorial marking. I am convinced that this is a humiliating prank played on us by the deer. I’m sure they get a real chuckle watching us. * They are well aware that it is illegal to shoot at them 30 minutes after sunset. The really big ones like to show themselves about 45 minutes after sunset, just to be on the safe side. * Deer enlist the aid of all surrounding wildlife. You will spend the rest of the morning wondering what happened to the owner of the spider web that caught you in the kisser as you walked through the dark woods. Quail love to catch a half-awake hunter stumbling through the pitch-black woods. The sudden explosion of a covey rising in the dark will test the strongest ticker. Squirrels have an uncanny knack for sounding exactly like deer shuffling through the dead leaves. Your body can only take so much adrenaline mixed with six cups of coffee. Deer only appear when you’re convinced that “it’s just a squirrel.” Why would anyone get up at 4 a.m., dress like a tree, walk through the middle of the pitch-black woods, climb up a tree, and try to sit perfectly still for hours in the freezing cold? The answer is simple — just to be there. For some perverse reason, sitting there, 20 feet up a tree, watching the evening turn to day is downright spiritual. My goal is to have a good time, even if the deer don’t bother me. (Bob Rush played in the NFL for nine years and today does color commentary on University of Memphis football games. You can e-mail Bob at letters@memphisflyer.com.)