"POOF" What good is master illusionist David Copperfield if he won't make Graceland disappear? by Chris Davis It's a dawgone good thing that David Copperfield has that whole "I dated a supermodel" thing working in his favor, because a shameless self-promoter he ain't. Oh sure, he'll run some bunk by you about making the moon disappear. But you give him the golden opportunity to sling some mud, to get the whole town talking by starting a good old-fashioned WWF-style grudge match, and Copperfield wimps out totally. But you'll hear more about that later. The master of illusion will be teleporting himself into The Orpheum this week with a whole new trailer load of tricks in tow, many of which have never been debunked by Fox TV's Masked Magician. He's going to fly like Peter Pan (crowing optional), remove his own legs (which if you ask me is just a little too freaky), and make a whole bunch of stuff (including some very sexy ladies in tight spangly outfits) disappear. Flyer: In the illusion where you make people disappear then reappear miles away, what kind of time lapse is there between the time they disappear and reappear? Copperfield: Without revealing any of the specifics of the process, let's just say the "journey" is a smooth and peaceful one, and the concept of time is not a factor. The press release says that some never reappear at all. Doesn't that upset their families? Only if the friends, family, or employees want it that way. The moral of this illusion is don't wish for something you may regret in your heart later on. On flying: I'm guessing that this is an illusion that you can't perform outside. The stage provides the perfect environment for flying because of the constant controlled weather conditions (still air) and no unforeseen obstacles. Have you ever had a volunteer from the audience become airsick or panic while you were flying them? Does that make the illusion more dangerous? I have had a few women moved emotionally to tears at the conclusion of their flight. Fortunately though, there have never been any airsickness problems, because I don't carry an in-flight aisickness bag with me! You prefer the term "illusionist" over "magician" or "conjurer," which makes your work more clinical in a way. That is to say, no "supernatural mumbo jumbo." Well, if you call yourself an "illusionist" you get paid 20 percent more! In all of your research, have you ever run across a magician whose work seemed impossible without the aid of supernatural forces a real wizard who would be put-out being branded an illusionist? In my library I actually have books dating back to the 15th century that debunk conjurers and spell out the process of how and what the "wizards" of the day were doing. This was to put an end to the burning at the stake of these so-called renegades or "witches" as they were more commonly referred to. Have you encountered feats of magic that gave you the heebie-jeebies? A good feat of cinematic magic by the likes of a Spielberg or Coppola manages to have that effect on me. I once read that all magicians have a special trick that they spend their entire life developing. Knowing that some day they will have to perform their last illusion, they want it to be a real doozy. Do you have a plan for your last illusion? Or is that too far in the future to even think about? I have always dreamed of putting a woman's face on Mt. Rushmore, straightening the Leaning Tower of Pisa, and vanishing the moon. So you see, I still have much to accomplish. That said, let me get back to my drawing board. No, wait! We have this resident illusionist Brett Daniels who performs at the casinos. He's actually pretty good, but his whole, "One-half Houdini, one-half Casanova" persona is, um . What would we have to do to get you to engage this guy in some kind of "Loser leaves town" grudge match? I'll bet the entire city of Memphis would show up to see you mop the floor with that guy. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but Brett has always been a good guy to me! By the way, the answer to a pertinent Memphis question you did not ask, but many have: The answer is "NO." Despite many requests over the years, I have no intention of making Graceland disappear. You can e-mail Chris Davis at davis@memphisflyer.com. David Copperfield, 6 & 9 p.m. Monday, March 13th, The Orpheum, $37, $42