Most surveys lie. Fat cities are not fat due to a lack of public facilities. The problem is diet, personal motivation, and access. Ours is a disposable city, and the facilities and the people are not always in the same place. Here's my Memphis survey. It is personal, subjective, anecdotal, and uninformed in some categories, less so in others. But in most cases I have seen 'em and and used 'em, which is more than most of the surveys can claim.

Public parks: Oversupplied. Shelby Farms is four times bigger than Central Park. Overton Park is getting better year after year. There are riverfront parks from Mud Island to Tom Lee Park to Crump Park near the Ornamental Metals Museum, some of them rarely visited. Mud Island River Park is closed half the year. Greenbelt Park on Mud Island is the best of the lot. Tiger Lane at the Fairgrounds is for the football crowd. Kennedy, Willow Road, Bellevue, and Leftwich/Audubon serve multiple needs. There are probably too many parks for a disposable city to maintain adequately.

Walking trails and running: Adequate. Put your shoes on and take off. True story: a former colleague was so obsessed with training for a marathon that he ran hundreds of laps around his living room when it rained. There are oval tracks at the fairgrounds and many high schools. There is an organized race of some kind nearly every weekend.

Fitness machines and structured programs: Unbalanced. Suburbs oversupplied with clubs and community facilities, inner city Memphis is undersupplied. Kroc Center, Streets Ministries, Memphis Athletic Ministries, and Church Health Center are helping a lot.

Tennis: Oversupplied in both indoor and outdoor courts. High schools and colleges that emphasize tennis build to tournament capacity, which leaves a lot of courts unused at other times. The University of Memphis has moved its tennis operations to the Racquet Club, leaving several perfectly good courts on campus for everyday players. Memphis has more public indoor tennis centers than Chicago. There are unused and deteriorating but still playable courts at Frayser Tennis Center. There is no single public center to compare with the biggest public centers in Little Rock, Mobile, Murfreesboro, and Nashville but overall Memphis is still oversupplied.

Racquetball. Oversupplied. A dying sport that thrived in Memphis 30 years ago, but plenty of courts remain at University of Memphis, Racquet Club, downtown YMCA, and some of the fitness clubs and community centers.

Outdoor basketball: Adequate. The cheapest sport around, requiring only nets, backboards, level rims, and a ball.

Indoor basketball: Adequate. Schools, churches, and community centers meet the need.

Bicycle riding: Oversupplied. If you want to ride a bike, there's nothing stopping you, assuming you can afford one, and if you can't there are organizations that will help. The dedicated bike lanes, bike paths, and sharrows are nice but a city-wide grid is unnecessary. Memphis is mostly flat and the weather is more conducive to riding than in the Snow Belt.

Football: Oversupplied. Liberty Bowl Stadium is used nine times a year. Football defined the fairgrounds. Most high schools have a field, and some of them are putting in artificial surfaces.

Baseball and softball: Oversupplied. Baseball is a suburban game, and teams migrate to the suburban baseball fields for tournaments and leagues. An unkempt field and backstop is a typical scene at most Memphis parks and high schools, a relic of another day. Good fields like the ones at Rodney Baber are expensive to light and maintain and lightly used.

Soccer: Equals suburban, although some of the world's greats came out of poor Third World countries. Adequate to oversupplied, thanks to Mike Rose Fields.

Golf: Adequate. Memphis had to close public courses, which are magnets for wasteful spending and political squabbles on the City Council. Galloway serves the high end, and if you are willing to spend $40 you can play just about anywhere. Overton Park needs real greens.

Swimming: Undersupplied, but expensive, seasonal, and fraught with liability. The Kroc Center will help when it opens next year. Closing the Mason YMCA hurt. High marks for suburbs, downtown YMCA, University of Memphis, and Rhodes College which offers a summer membership.

Others: volleyball, skateboarding, squash, lacrosse, field hockey, rugby, bowling, Ultimate. You want to play it, you can find a place. It may require some effort and practice but that's the point. And it may require some cash and a car, but if you don't have those there are less expensive or free alternatives. It comes down to motivation and lifestyle. A new building or a new facility — or a survey — is usually not the answer.

Prince may not have invented the oversized racquet, but for my money — a few thousand dollars in various racquets and other equipment over four decades — nobody tried harder or did it better. As a player, I appreciated the quality and durability of their products. As a fan, I am grateful for their sponsorships. And as a wordsmith, I marvel at their ability to make racquets that are virtually identical to other Prince racquets and other manufacturers' racquets seem exciting, cutting edge, different, performance-enhancing and, of course, new. Entire issues of tennis magazines are devoted to racquet hype.

The real advances in racquets in tennis, racquetball, and squash came when small wooden or metal racquets were replaced by ever-larger and ever-lighter composite racquets. Within eras, the racquets were more alike than different. The unenviable job of the Prince marketing and sales departments was to make each innovation of a few grams of weight, change in balance, a few inches more or less in head size, and different shapes seem as exciting as a new Corvette or the latest offering from Apple.

“After considering several business options, the board of directors and the senior management team firmly believe that the Chapter 11 filing is not only a necessary step but also the right thing to do to ensure a secure future for Prince,” said Gordon Boggis, president and CEO of Prince Sports Inc. “We have a long history, and are planning for an exciting future, focused on game-changing, product innovation, engineered to take players’ games to the next level. Securing this protection will help us to continue to focus on that vision.”

Now, about that vision. Can better equipment change your game or take your game to the next level?

Tennis coach Vic Braden, who is one part teaching pro and three parts psychologist, wit, and salesman, once said at a clinic in Memphis that "it's not the racquet, it's the turkey on the end of the handle." A killer marketing phrase, or rather a killer-of-marketing phrase, if there ever was one.

In his book "Open," Andre Agassi said the biggest change in the game in his final years was not bigger racquets or bigger players but the new elastic polyester string that imparts more spin on the ball.

Sarah Hatgas, tennis coach at Rhodes College, says "New tech in racquets makes it easier on the elbow! The game has developed into a power game from the baseline and volleying is becoming a lost art."

Senior player Nancy Gates says "I would in no way consider myself a racquet sports expert, but at my age my primary concern is about how badly my body gets destroyed by the sport, and how equipment may or may not exacerbate the pain. There are some racquets that are stiff and cause my elbow to hurt, so I stay away from those. Other than that, any racquet, once I get used to it, probably has no effect one way or the other on my game. I have one bad foot, so shoes are key for me. If I don't have the right shoes, I cannot play. In fact, I have given away two different pair of brand new shoes after only one wearing, because they weren't quite right - hundreds of dollars wasted."

Randy Stafford, a former racquetball pro, said that rule changes adopted by the sport in 1997 increased racquet size about 25 percent which resulted in 50 percent more hitting area for more power. "This change was made in racquetball due to the manufacturers' demands to increase sales and royalties. No question, the changes to the racquet size changed the game from a control and manageable power game, to one of excess speed that not only changed the original design and intent of the game, but increased the speed of the ball to a level that is quite unmanageable for the everyday player."

Ted Gross, former squash pro and editor of the Daily Squash Report, says, "Nothing to back this up but my opinion is racquets (assuming we are comparing only top-of-the-line models) make a difference in tennis but not in squash. Hitting a tennis ball well is substantially more complicated than hitting a squash ball well, and differences in frame stiffness and head balance and even grip shapes are therefore quite apparent. The grip over-wrap is the most important piece of equipment in squash, because before the invention of the Tournagrip you couldn't hold onto the racquet no matter what you tried."

I'm with Gross and Gates. The most underrated piece of equipment is a $2 roll of grip tape. I don't see how players did without it, especially tennis players in the hot and humid South back in the days of wooden racquets with slippery leather grips or gauzy overwraps. Second place is shoes with gum soles that are much lighter than those Goodyear-rubber soled clodhoppers you see on the tennis court. Gum-soled shoes are designed for indoor court sports but once you get used to them anything else is like putting on ankle weights.

To the extent that overgrips extend the life of racquets by making players less likely to discard them, Prince was doomed not by faulty marketing or Internet sales or all those fancy $200 racquets produced by its competitors but by a $2 piece of tape.

It's cold comfort, but never again are we likely see such perfection at such a high level. That goes for the Clippers, who played just about perfectly on offense and defense during their 26-1 run in the fourth quarter, and the Grizzlies who, individually and collectively, played perfectly awful offensively and defensively by the standards of a high school or college team much less an NBA team playing at home in the Playoffs.

For the Grizzlies to lose, both things had to happen again and again and again. And, lucky us, we saw it.

The Clippers not only had to make lots of baskets, they had to make them quickly. Their near-perfect shooting was aided and abetted by the Grizzlies near-perfect lack of defense.

And the baskets could not be two-pointers; to catch up, most of them had to be three-pointers. Again, the Grizzlies obliged by making sure no one obstructed Nick Young in the corners as he poured in three of them in a little over a minute. Perfect shooting and perfect incompetence.

The Clippers also needed to shoot some free throws, because that stops the clock. Who better to shoot them than star guard Chris Paul? So, with 23 seconds left, the Grizzlies Tony Allen, one of the best defenders in the league, fouled him and Paul put the Clippers ahead.

The Clippers had to play perfect defense and do it without fouling and sending the choking Grizzlies to the free-throw line where they could score some easy points. The Clippers swarmed the Grizzlies, who obligingly turned the ball over or took low-percentage shots and missed them. Zach Randolph actually air-balled a one-footer at one point from one side of the rim to the other, which is nearly impossible to do when you are six feet nine inches tall.

The Grizzlies not only had to turn the ball over or miss their initial shots each possession, they had to miss their follow-up shots and not gain control of the rebound so they could get a fresh 24-second clock and run out the clock or force the Clippers to foul. The odds against this happening on long errant shots that produce long rebounds that guards can gather in are, well, long. Again, perfect incompetence.

The Clippers' coach, Vinny Del Negro, had to have the perfect combination of shooters and defenders on the floor, which he did. Grizzlies' coach Lionel Hollins had to have the perfect combination of offensive players who suddenly lost their shooting touch and walked the ball up the court to allow the Clippers to set their defense, and defenders who would not molest Young in the corner. Perfection achieved.

In the final seconds, the Grizzlies' best player, Rudy Gay, had the ball with nine seconds left, which is an eternity in basketball. With a one-point lead, the Clippers could not foul him or the Grizz probably would at last reach the elusive 100-point mark and win 100-99. Gay had to miss. Which he did.

It was agonizing, shocking, awful, and, considering what had gone on previously in the fourth quarter, perfect. And we saw it, or at least those of us who didn't head for the exits early or turn off the television assuming the lead was safe even though our team was clearly in trouble saw it. It was epic and mathematically improbable. And, with any luck, we will never ever see it again.

Race director and founder (1981) Joe Royer said the course will be the same as in previous years. It will start at the northern end of Mud Island where the Wolf River joins the Mississippi River, hug the Tennessee shore, wind around Mud Island River Park, and end in the Wolf River harbor at Jefferson Davis Park. There will, however, be no tie-in with Memphis in May.

In 2010, severe thunderstorms forced cancellation on the day of the event, and last year the event was called off several days in advance as the Mississippi rose toward a near-record crest. Its survival was in doubt. Speaking of postponements, Royer said there were 12 "near misses" due to bad weather in the 30 years the race was part of Memphis in May. But the race has a perfect safety record and undeniable allure so, after much thought and research, he decided to bring it back in June.

The event walks a line between being "extreme" on the one hand (experts run the course in 20 minutes or less) and family-friendly on the other. If the river is too high, the trees on the banks of Greenbelt Park become "sweepers" that can spill a canoe, and if it is too low then the staging in the Wolf River becomes difficult.

"I don't have an easy river," said Royer.

The cost is $40 per person or $45 after June 11th. Categories included kayaks, double kayaks, and canoes for men and women, with $15,000 in cash and prizes awarded. As in previous years, there will be some elite paddlers with Olympic experience, but Royer said he wants to welcome summer paddlers and families too. The river will be closed to barge traffic during the event. Memphis police and harbor patrol will be on duty.

Assistance with getting canoes and kayaks in the water will be provided at the parking lot at the north end of Mud Island. The staging area is the mouth of the Wolf River, but the only boat ramp in good condition leads directly into the Mississippi River, meaning that participants who start there will have to paddle upstream a short distance.

Royer, a former competitive kayaker, has long touted the potential of the river as a recreational "blueway" or trail similar to the bicycle Greenline. The thrill of dipping a paddle in "Old Man River" for a short trip is offset by the river's size, current, and unpredictability compared to, say, the Tennessee River in Chattanooga. This event is a rare opportunity to have a bucket-list experience under supervision. As someone who has been on the river in a canoe a few times, I would not recommend doing it any other way.

In the big picture, this is all about "right-sizing" sports facilities and events, from the Racquet Club to AutoZone Park to Liberty Bowl Stadium to public playing fields, golf courses, and amateur sports complexes like First Tennessee Fields and Snowden Grove in DeSoto County. More on that in a minute.

First though, as someone who has played and watched tennis, racquetball, and squash at the Racquet Club for many years, I guess I should be in the "big deal" camp, but I'm not, at least not without qualifications. Teams and tournaments come and go, and this one is 36 years old and has gone by more names than an inmate in the county jail — U.S. Indoor, Volvo, Kroger, Regions Morgan Keegan to name a few. The women's tournament, ten years old, was sponsorless this year.

If they are replaced, as seems likely, by a "lower-level" pro tournament, the average fan, not to mention the non-fan, won't notice the difference. Case in point: Andy Roddick and Milos Raonic have been recent finalists in Memphis (a "500" tournament) and, a week earlier, San Jose (a "250" tournament). Above the satellite-tournament level, the strength of the field is determined by convenience as much as anything, and several big names have either failed to show up in Memphis or made an early exit.

The Racquet Club and the tournament are the legacy of William Dunavant Jr., founder of the club, cotton magnate, tennis player, but no longer actively involved in day-to-day Memphis. He sold the club to Mac Winker, who pledged to keep the tournament in Memphis, as indeed he did. Winker sold the club to Sharks Sports & Entertainment in San Jose, which reportedly plans to sell it to IMG, a sports marketing and management company with global connections.

Winker told me that in his early years as manager of the club, the tournament was supported by the club, but that flipped in the later years, and the tournament supported the club and its declining membership. He said his mantra was to make the tournament an event, with a St. Jude tie-in and as much fanfare and as many sponsors (bannered around the stadium court) as could be mustered. Tennis big-wigs such as Barry McKay and Donald Dell were regulars in the boxes, courtside seats were cherished, there was fancy food in the Walnut Room, and sport jackets and dresses were not uncommon for the packed finals. There was no competition from NBA basketball, and American players like Jimmy Connors, Andre Agassi, Jim Courier, Michael Chang, Brad Gilbert, Todd Martin, and Pete Sampras were among the Memphis champions and in the world Top Five.

There are more foreign players in the tournament these days, although Americans Roddick and Sam Querrey have also been recent winners along with Jurgen Melzer and Tommy Haas. But none of them are as well known as the tennis Big Four of Nadal, Federer, Djokovic, and Murray who dominate the Grand Slams.

The women's tournament lost Cellular South as its title sponsor, and the prize money is less than the men get. The crowds for the women's finals have been smaller, with the exception of Venus Williams matches. Overall, I think the twin tournaments suffer from "too much tennis" syndrome when you take into account split day and evening sessions, qualifying matches, singles and doubles, action on multiple courts, and $40-$60 tickets.

There is some fear among members that the Racquet Club itself could now be sold along with the tournaments. Giving credence to that, San Jose is clearly calling the shots. Tournament director Peter Lebedevs and Morgan Keegan managing partner Reggie Barnes both told me they got the news on Monday morning, like everyone else in Memphis. Lebedevs had just returned from a trip to Australia and said he couldn't comment on a possible sale of the tournament. Allen Morgan Jr., one of the founding partners of Morgan Keegan, committed to the title sponsorship for six years and an additional year to fill the breach after the sale to Raymond James. He noted that he once tried unsuccessfully to buy the pro tournament in Atlanta. After a nine-year absence, the ATP tour returned to Atlanta in 2010, but the event is played in a smaller venue with less prize money than Memphis.

Winker, now retired, said he has been contacted by at least one company interested in putting several million dollars into another southern ATP tournament but declined to identify the company or location.

Racquet Club member and commercial real estate investor and developer Trip Trezevant thinks the future of the club is secure.

"If they (the owners) have $8 million in the club including renovations then that is now, just land cost, of $36 a foot which is too expensive for residential. The owners purchased the club to be a tennis club and I am certain that is what they will do. They have done a great job thus far on improving the club. I think we will end up getting a 250 series tennis tournament and still have the same players that we had for the 500 series and they probably got money selling the 500 series which will go back into the club to improve the club. Just a guess."

While Winker was owner, some courts along White Station were replaced with housing, leaving the club with 11 indoor courts and 16 outdoor courts used by members and the University of Memphis.

To my eye at least, that may still be too many. I've seen too many empty outdoor courts on a beautiful weekend afternoon or empty indoor courts at times when they are being lighted and air-conditioned. The three racquetball courts are lightly used, and racquetball, once a Memphis institution, looks like a dying sport. As for squash, all I will say is that I helped bring the former number-one player in the world to Memphis a month ago and drew about five spectators to a free exhibition. These are not called minor sports for nothing.

It wasn't my first sports miscalculation. Some years ago I got it in my head that outdoor basketball tournaments were a perfect fit for Memphis, but they died after a year or two downtown. Then I went through a baseball phase when my son was growing up and playing at Snowden Grove, USA Stadium in Millington, and Dulin's academy. First Tennessee Fields filled that need, and there's plenty of competition from baseball complexes in Jackson, Tennessee, and Jonesboro, Arkansas and Tipton County, Tennessee. AutoZone Park is too big for the Redbirds much less college or high school teams. I had a brief fling with soccer as an American fan favorite, but last week a game between the United States and El Salvador in Nashville, with an Olympics berth at stake, drew about 8,000 fans. And, briefly, I had hopes for the River Kings hockey team and indoor soccer in the Coliseum. I thought the people who go to meetings about bike lanes on North Parkway and other city streets might actually use them. And surely golfers would flock to T. O. Fuller, Riverside, and Davy Crockett when they were threatened. Nope.

I have counted the house at old Tim McCarver, new AutoZone Park, and the 60,000-seat Liberty Bowl on nights when you couldn't get to 3,000 without kidding yourself. The only regular near-capacity crowds seem to be at FedEx Forum for the Grizzlies or Tigers. And the amateur sport that never ceases to amaze me with its growth in participation is distance running or walking for some cause.

What's the deal? Big screen televisions. Too many venues. Ticket prices. Fees. Changing habits. Declining neighborhoods. Fitness machines. Sloth. Boredom. Whatever, tennis isn't the only sport being right sized.

It was a defensive showcase, a real grit-and-grind effort, a slugfest, and a bore. That final score is more fitting to a football game. Greg Bishop of the New York Times described it as "a gritty, ugly, low-scoring affair" and he was being generous. The teams missed a combined 69 shots.

Such clangfests are not unusual in recent versions of March Madness. Last year's final was one of the ugliest ever, as U Conn beat Butler 53-41 and Butler shot 12 for 64 from the field. Memphis lost 61-54 to St. Louis this year in another clunker. Dribble, drive, work the clock, clang, dribble, drive, work the clock, get fouled, repeat.

And it brought to mind Paul Westhead, who used to coach Loyola Marymount. He is currently coaching the women's team at the University of Oregon. Too bad. Paul, your nation needs you. The problem today isn't just that teams don't make enough shots, they also don't take enough shots.

On March 18, 1990, Loyola Marymount defeated Michigan, the defending national champion, 149-115, and it wasn't that close. Westhead's strategy was first guy who sees daylight fires. Any shot inside of half court was OK with him. The shot clock was irrelevant. The guy who inbounded the ball got an assist.

Michigan was not a bunch of stiffs. The Wolverines started four players who would play in the NBA — Terry Mills, Rumeal Robinson, Sean Higgins, and Loy Vaught. Not a "D" in any of their names, and no "D" on the floor either. The score at halftime was 65-58, Loyola ahead. That's more points than most teams scored in entire games in this year's tournament. In the second half, Loyola turned it on, scoring 84 points, which is a feat rarely seen outside of NBA exhibition games and All-Star games.

Loyola attempted 40 three-pointers and made 21 of them. Jeff Fryer finished as high point with 41. Bo Kimble, the team's best player, settled for 37. The teams missed a combined 80 shots — 12 more than Michigan State and Louisville did last night. But both teams were firing.

Michigan-Loyola Marymount was ugly in its own way. Loyola's game plan was not exactly a secret. The team averaged 122 points that year. Michigan Coach Steve Fisher was clueless. But at least it was basketball, and entertaining for a half or so, which is more than can be said for some recent games.

My friend Bob Levey is also there. Bob is a former columnist for the Washington Post and a former journalism instructor at the University of Memphis. He is also a very good bridge player and has been after me to write something about bridge, which I will now do, and in return I expect him to write something about the Memphis City Council, which will make sitting through a bridge marathon seem easy.
,
I play bridge but not the kind they play in this tournament, which is called duplicate. Same players play same hands, so the cards don't matter. In party bridge, on the other hand, it's all about the run of the cards, the compatibility of the couples, and the host's supply of snacks and liquid refreshments.

Here are some helpful do's and don'ts of tournament bridge.

If you run into Bill Gates, don't say "Hey Bill, can I borrow your iPad?"

If you run into Warren Buffett, do say in a loud voice "Man, I can't believe the Dow just fell 1000 points in the last five minutes" and see how he reacts.

Don't wear sunglasses and a baseball cap and talk about "the flop" or "the river" or going "all in."

Do, however, ask people if they will, for the right sum of money, be your partner for a few hours or even fly to your home town and meet you at a hotel to play games. In bridge, this is known as "consulting" although it is ok to refer to it as being a "bridge whore" in the right crowd.

Don't say "Oopsie, these clubs look so darn much like spades that I mixed them all together. Is that all right?"

Don't fist bump your partner after making a contract. A chest bump is much better.

Do wear team t-shirts while at play and at play. Don't, however, make up insulting chants about the other teams' parentage, ethnicity, or IQs.

Don't burst out laughing if someone at your table says that big pyramid across the street is empty but is soon going to be a giant Bass Pro Shops.

Don't say "director" unless you mean it.

Do try to execute finesses, coups, end plays, and squeeze plays.

Don't mistake the barbecue served outside the meeting rooms for the real thing.

Do revel with self-satisfaction in the intellectual superiority of this form of March Madness, but don't miss the Sweet Sixteen pre-game show.

Do come back.

• John White (2nd from right)

There are adult camps for almost every sport including squash, an indoor court sport that combines the athleticism of tennis with the power of racquetball, the stamina of marathon running, and the grace of dancing. Last week, Memphis squash players decided that rather than go to camp, we would bring the pro to us. With a key assist from Ted Gross, publisher of the Daily Squash Report, the pro we decided on was John White, ranked #1 in the world in 2004, and now coaching at Drexel University in Philadelphia.

It's a small sport but it's a big world. Squash is mainly played in private clubs and universities in the Northeastern United States but has much broader appeal in Australia, the United Kingdom, Canada, and the Middle East. When we went shopping for a pro, we wanted the best one we could afford. At 38, White is younger than Shaquille O'Neal, Brett Favre, and Andre Agassi and the same age as Derek Jeter. Some of the pros he used to beat are still on the tour.

When he was on the tour, White was known as the hardest hitter ever. He would go for ridiculous shots, dive for balls, give away a few easy points, cuss once in a while, smash an occasional racquet, and laugh about it afterwards. As White's contemporary Jonathan Power said of him, "You can't bet on John but you can't bet against him either." Now he's a husband and parent of four kids worried about making the baseball or track team. In other words, he is, in some ways, just like us.

Most important, he seemed like a guy who would drink some beer, get on the court and give us some pointers, put on a show, and encourage the fantasy that, despite our physical limitations and our advancing years, we could still achieve a higher level of mediocrity. We had seen White on DVD's and YouTube clips but never in person. As one of our players said to him while we were watching one of his matches on a DVD, "You look like you don't give a shit." It was meant as a compliment about White's refusal to play a mechanical game, and that is exactly how it was taken. It so happened that White lost both of the matches we watched that night, and someone said "Are there any DVDs of matches you won?" He laughed, raised a beer, and we knew we had our man.

He played a couple of games with each of us and managed to invent ways to "lose" a few points while also giving us a taste of what a ball going 150 miles an hour on a court 32 feet long and 21 feet wide looks like. He put us through conditioning drills that left us winded and sore the next day. He played our best player, Egyptian Mohamad Elmeliegy, and made him look as outclassed as most of the rest of us are when we play Mohamad, a 30-year-old with several years of professional training.

It was a reminder that world-class athletes are not like the rest of us, or even like good college athletes. John paid Mohamad the compliment of playing hard and pushing him to the limit. He retrieved balls in the corners with ease, rarely taking more than three steps. On the rare times when a ball got past him, he simply turned, flicked his wrist, and slammed it off the back wall while he reclaimed his position at center court as the ball floated to the front wall. His movement, perfected by tens of thousands of hours of practice since he was a young teenager in Brisbane, Australia, was flawless and effortless. Honestly, it was more like "Dancing With the Stars" than sport.

In our strategy and beer-drinking sessions (minimal difference), he opined on racquets (more alike than different), shoes (still likes Prince NFS), American squash pros (unlikely to crack the top 25), balls (under some conditions, pros hit them so hard they expand to almost 150 percent of their original size and bounce like tennis balls), Egyptian dominance (take the ball early), Aussie decline (his hometown once boasted 200 court complexes but now has a dozen or two), squash getting into the Olympics (unlikely unless the host country grants a wild card), sportsmanship (he once saw a player disqualified in the warm-up for not hitting the ball to his opponent often enough), college recruiting (go international), the legendary Jahangir Khan (a near-supernatural ability to know where his opponent was going to hit the ball), and Trinity College Coach Paul Assainte and his team's 252-match win streak which was broken this year by Yale (class guy and team).

And, of course, those pointers. Most of which I have already forgotten, which is probably of little consequence. The one I do remember came when I asked if a senior player was going to try to improve one thing, should it be strength, flexibility, fitness, or skills?

He just smiled and pointed at his head.

• Andrea Hlavackova

The Regions Morgan Keegan Championships and the Memphis International Women's Tournament come to a close this weekend. Once again, there are several no-names in the finals and several big names who got several thousands of dollars in appearance money were beaten and are long gone, including men's 2nd seed Andy Roddick and women's top seed Nadia Petrova. Both lost in straight sets in the first round.

Take the money and run.

They ought to call it disappearance money.

Here are the names and faces that appeared in the ads and billboards promoting the tournament: Roddick, Petrova, Cilic, Blake, Raonic, Hewitt, Querrey, Isner, Monfils, McEnroe.

John McEnroe played an exhibition doubles match Monday night that filled the stadium court to what looked like about three-quarters capacity. At $40 a ticket, that's over $100,000. He also did media interviews before and after the match. He played hard and well, and kept his temper in check.

Milos Raonic is in Sunday's finals. No problem there. The winner gets $277,915. And Isner and Querrey each won a round or two in singles and in doubles. Cilic, Hewitt, and Monfils withdrew a few days before the tournament due to injuries. James Blake got wiped out in the first round. Roddick lost to Xavier Malisse, but it was close and Roddick had been off the court for several weeks due to injuries. He's a gamer, and offered no excuses. But, sorry, he didn't earn his fee.

Petrova lost to a qualifier. Good grief. The sponsorless women's tournament is lucky to be here, with prize money of $220,000 in singles and $220,000 in doubles. The only woman who was a proven draw in Memphis was Venus Williams. Otherwise, the women's final in recent years has barely filled half the house. Last night was no exception. The doubles, by the way, was won by the drop-dead gorgeous Andrea Hlavackova and her partner Lucie Hradecka, aka the Scrabble board sisters. The photo with this post suggests the WTA and local promoters should perhaps try a different tack.

I love tennis, love the tournament, and wish it the best. But the players need to act for the good of the game and recognize the limited appeal that tennis has in Memphis, and the responsibility that comes with appearance money. On Sunday, the skies are blue in Memphis and the temperature is pushing 60. It's a great day for tennis. I think I'll go outside and hit some.

The man known to the current generation of tennis pros as a television commentator showed he can still play doubles with the best as he and 19-year-old partner Jack Sock beat Sam Querrey and James Blake 7-6, 6-4 in an exhibition match. He was especially sharp in rapid-fire volleying exchanges at the net.

"I play hard," he said. "This hit-and-giggle stuff is boring. I have more fun going 100 percent."

Call it hit-and-grin, as Blake and Querrey were obviously holding back. But McEnroe aced Blake several times and served out the match at love, just missing an ace on match point and registering 120 once on the radar gun.

"I think that was the (radar) gun on steroids," he said doubtfully, claiming his hardest serve ever was 125, and that was decades ago.

What mattered, of course, was that McEnroe filled the stadium on a Monday night when there were no big names playing in the main draw of the Regions Morgan Keegan Championship or the women's tournament. They came to see a guy who used to make regular appearances on the cover of Sports Illustrated for both his play and his antics. He threw his racquet a couple of times for laughs, threw his shirts into the crowd, and threw compliments to Sock, one of latest crop of young Americans trying to restore the sizzle and glory of tennis in the USA. And a couple of times he urged the crowd, which seemed star struck at first, to make some noise.

McEnroe said he has no interest in reviving his career as a doubles specialist in ATP tournaments after winning so many Grand Slams including the U.S. Open and Wimbledon. He is at an age when he can make more money and have more fun playing singles and doubles exhibitions before crowds that have aged along with him.

• Bethanie Mattek-Sands

In sports as in publishing, nobody promises you a long life. You adapt, play smart, and get some breaks or you die. The Regions Morgan Keegan Championships — there’s two companies that won’t have such a presence in Memphis a year from now — will soon be 40 years old. Elvis was still alive when this tournament got started. Without Cellular South, the women's tournament is already title sponsorless.

Why watch, and what to watch if you do? A few suggestions.

The seats: The worst seat in the 4600-seat Stadium Court where the finals are played is comparable to the best seats at a football or basketball game. And in the early rounds three courts are in use. On a weekday before 5 p.m., you can easily get a seat in the front row at one of them.

The women: This is one of the few tournaments other than the four Grand Slams with both men’s and women’s draws. Watch Bethanie Mattek-Sands, a free spirit, creative dresser, and hell of a player who might be the best athlete in the women’s field. And, if this picture is any indication, she might have an interesting wardrobe malfunction or get jumped by a ball boy.

John McEnroe: I have mixed feelings about this one. He will play in a doubles exhibition Monday evening against Sam Querrey and James Blake. Exhibitions can be tedious, but McEnroe takes everything seriously, maybe too seriously. He made an ass of himself a few years ago in an exhibition here. But at 53 he is still competitive. When McEnroe was in his prime, doubles specialist Tim Gullikson once said the best doubles team in the world was “McEnroe and anyone else.”

Names don’t matter. Sure it would be nice to have Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal and French phantom Gael Monfils, but the men coming to Memphis are just a few shots a set from being in the Top Ten. Andy Roddick would probably have won four or five Grand Slams by now if he were not in such tough company.

Roddick’s Dive: The guy didn’t have to dive on match point in last year’s final. He was up a game and an ad. If he misses the shot it’s deuce. If he loses the next two points he goes into a tiebreaker. If he loses the match he goes home with a nice paycheck and a standing ovation. But he took a dive and made an incredible shot, and that says something about his heart as well as his skills.

Women’s doubles: They usually play one up at the net and one slugging crosscourts from the baseline. The only matches that bear any semblance whatsoever to the game played by club players.

The big serve is overrated. Hitting a 125-mile-an-hour serve is like dunking a basketball. Any pro can do it. Watch and see who hits a first serve on the line when the set score is 6-5 and it’s game point. That separates the winners from the losers.

The service return is underrated. Especially in doubles. The server is probably a giant. Or else the net man is probably a giant who moves like a cat and is waiting to jump on the return. They each know where the ball is going. The returner doesn’t, and has to pick a spot and hit it with velocity. Pretty tough.

The qualifying rounds: Best sports bargain in Memphis. Pros playing for their professional lives to get into the main draw.

Hawk Eye: The line cameras have been installed on the Stadium Court for all matches for the first time so players can challenge calls and spectators can see where the ball landed.

It's February. March Madness is a month away. The NBA Playoffs are two months away. And that big Memphis-UT-Martin football game that has everyone talking is six months away. This is better.

For the second year in a row Monfils, the flamboyant French tennis star with dreadlocks and sleeveless shirts, has dropped out due to an injury. What a headache it must be for tournament director Peter Lebedevs, with the qualifying rounds starting tomorrow and Monfils scheduled to play next Tuesday.

The good news is that American hottie Ryan Harrison now gets a pass into the main draw. Harrison won a Davis Cup match against Switzerland last week and is a rising star who grew up in Louisiana.

The reason given for Monfils' withdrawal was an injury to his right knee. His feature match on Tuesday, February 21 at 7 p.m. will now be replaced by American John Isner's first-round match.

Additionally, Croatian Marin Cilic has been forced to withdraw with a "knee injury." He's a highly ranked player but not as well known as Monfils and not part of the pre-tournament publicity. Also withdrawing is Australian Lleyton Hewitt, winner of the U.S. Open in 2001 and Wimbledon in 2002.

Andy Roddick, who is recovering from a hamstring injury, is still coming as of today. If you're a tennis fan, cross your fingers. Roddick is playing in a tournament in San Jose this week and won his match yesterday in three sets to reach the quarterfinals despite rolling a heavily taped ankle. He had not played since quitting his second-round match at last month's Australian Open.

• Ryan Harrison

John Isner beat Roger Federer in a Davis Cup match last week but he won't be top seed in the Regions Morgan Keegan Championship at the Racquet Club February 17-26th.

Isner beat Federer 4-6, 6-3, 7-6, 6-2 on an indoor clay court in Switzerland, Federer's home. If anything the Racquet Club courts are more of an advantage for the 6'-9" Isner, who was runner-up in the tournament in 2010. Tournament director Peter Lebedevs said Isner will be seeded second or third based on his ranking this week. According to The New York Times, Isner is seen as a possible world top-ranked player in the near future.

Another rising American star, Isner's Davis Cup teammate Ryan Harrison, is also coming to Memphis, but the 19-year-old from Shreveport will have to fight his way through the qualifying tournament to earn one of four spots in the main draw. Harrison won his match 7-6, 7-6, helping the Americans to a 5-0 sweep.

Does this matter as far as putting fans in the seats? Maybe not, even though the worst seat at The Racquet Club is as close to the court as a $100 seat for a basketball game at FedEx Forum. The fact is there's SportsCenter material and there's everything else. Without Federer, Nadal, or Djokovic — or Venus or Serena Williams on the women's side — Memphis has a hard time expanding the tennis appeal.

Racquet Notes: Good story on Kane Waselenchuk in the Times this week. Waselenchuk is the top-ranked pro racquetball player, and played several times in Memphis. He had a streak of 137 wins broken due to an injury recently. Previously, the longest streak was 54 matches.

• R. C. Johnson

Big East Conference Commissioner John Marinatto told reporters in a teleconference Wednesday that Memphis is "very well positioned for success" in football, which is the driving force in television contracts. Marinatto secretly visited the campus and Liberty Bowl Memorial Stadium last week to eyeball them before sealing the deal. Memphis Athletic Director R. C. Johnson said the visit was code named "Elvis."

Marinatto touted the strong record of the Memphis men's basketball team as an important factor in the invitation to join what he called the best men's and women's basketball conference in the country. Other factors he listed were location, facilities, location, personnel, and location. The conference wanted a school in the Central Time Zone to complement its East Coast and West Coast members.

He said lobbying on behalf of Memphis by Louisville basketball coach Rick Pitino "wasn't the driving force." Just to make sure, he said it again a few minutes later.

Marinatto did not say whether the pending departure of Memphis Athletic Director R. C. Johnson was a factor one way or the other, leaving fans a juicy topic for ongoing discussion.

Johnson and University of Memphis President Shirley Raines held a press conference at noon Wednesday. Johnson, much criticized for everything from his hair to the Derrick Rose sanctions to the failure to get into a Bowl Championship Series (BCS) conference before this, stole the show with humor and emotion. His last day is June 29th.

"What criticism? Me?" he said in response to a question.

"By golly we did it," he said, pounding the podium in joy to a standing ovation. He gave special thanks to FedEx CEO Fred Smith, booster Mike Rose, and FedEx CFO Alan Graf who were in on the secret talks for their help.

Johnson said Big East all-sports schools got $8.6 million apiece in shared revenue compared to $2 million apiece for Conference USA schools. Memphis must pay an exit fee of $500,000 and $2.5 million to join the Big East, which Johnson said will come out of television revenue.

Johnson got another big round of applause when he said the new football coaching staff will get a recruiting boost. "They (rival coaches) can no longer say you're not in a BCS conference."

Within three years the Big East plans to have 12 football schools and 17 basketball schools, with a league championship game in each sport. Marinatto said "it is just a question of execution."

And one more thing. Arkansas State, minus head coach Hugh Freeze, is back on the Tigers 2012 schedule.