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• Interim county mayor-elect Joe Ford

No rice and no dice either for John Vergos, the former Memphis city councilman who sat hopefully in the county building auditorium last week and did so again Tuesday. Nor for Jack Sammons, still serving as acting CAO for departed county mayor A C Wharton, now residing as the newly elected Memphis mayor over at City Hall across the way.

Nor for county commissioner J.W. Gibson or his once-and-future colleague, commissioner and acting mayor Joyce Avery, who once again let themselves be nominated and took front row seats, prepared to wait it out the as their fellow commissioners voted again on appointing an interim Shelby county mayor.

Only there was no wait this time Nothing like the marathon 24 separate ballots that took place Monday of last week as Gibson and commissioner Joe Ford deadlocked over-and-over again with repeat vote totals of 5-to-5, interrupted only by the occasional spurt of tentative votes for someone else — Avery or commissioner George Flinn or county CAO Jim Huntzicker. But the stalemate never broke.

It did this time around. On the second ballot, commissioner James Harvey shifted away from Gibson and, in the manner of the talented Gridiron Show thespian he is, delivered a properly cadenced and dramatic apologia for reversing himself, all in the name of ending the commission’s ordeal, then cast his vote for commissioner Joe Ford, and — Bingo! There was your new county mayor for the next several months, the first member of his politically illustrious family to hold the executive title of mayor.

And there was celebration and jubilation all around, as much because there would be no ordeal like last week’s as because of Ford’s victory over Gibson. The palpable mood of deliverance would doubtless have been there had the nod gone to Gibson — who, as if anticipating the outcome, had earlier, in obligatory remarks making the case for himself, had pointedly, almost concessively, expressed gratitude merely for having been nominated.

Also having an earlier moment had been commissioner Steve Mulroy, a dedicated Ford supporter (and no mean thespian himself), who also seemed to have seen what was coming, making a speech renouncing whatever hopes he might privately have nursed of being a fallback mayoral choice.

Standing off to the side of the post-selection hoopla, eschewing any dramatics whatsoever, was commissioner Henri Brooks, who had really been the decision-maker on Tuesday. It was Brooks, an immovable Gibson vote last week, who had made the first break toward Ford, from the very first ballot. All Harvey had done was follow through on the implied offer he had made during last week’s session to cross over if he had company.

Why did Brooks provide the occasion? “I just listened to my constituents,” was her only explanation.

When Ford made an impromptu acceptance speech, he promised as mayor to institute the same kinds of “task forces” on this or that governmental issue as he had while serving as the commission’s chairman a few seasons back. And he could hardly be blamed for expressing a bit of resentment at the public venting that had been given his several personal problems — mainly financial — during this last week.

Ford advised his listeners to believe “very little” of what they saw on television and “nothing” they read in “the newspaper.”

Ah well, now that this showdown is over, maybe there’ll be an easing up of the odd polarization on the commission — one that owes nothing to either ideology or political party but rather to the kind of personal motives and ad hoc alliances you could expect to find on any organized body of people. Maybe commissioner Mike Carpenter, a co-chair of Memphis mayor Wharton’s transition team and the subject of nonstop rumors that he’s City Hall-bound himself will feel free now to make his move.

As for Ford, he maintained a poker face, even in triumph.. That eased up for good only when somebody remarked to him that, after all those years of people conjecturing about there being a “Mayor Ford,” meaning his brother Harold Sr., a former congressman now doing high-stakes lobbying from a base in Florida, there is one such. And this Mayor-elect Ford is named Joe.

At that thought he finally smiled.

With the Memphis City Council preparing to reorganize this week, what better means of resolving the council pecking order could there be than some organized mano-a-mano like...er, ping pong?

In any case, Saturday night found current council chairman Harold Collins facing a challenge from colleague Jim Strickland. Strickland himself does not aspire to the chairmanship but has been known to cross swords with Collins on some issues and to have worked hand-in-glove with him on others. The outcome of their set-to Saturday night could well affect the balance of power.

As of Saturday night, there were rumors — taken seriously by Collins — that Myron Lowery, the former chairman who yielded the position to Collins when Lowery became acting mayor at the end of July, might want the job back now that his interim mayoral tenure is over. Lowery, however, did not compete in Strickland's garage Saturday night.

In any case, and whatever its import, the suspenseful Strickland-Collins match went down to the wire.

Commentators' voices on this video are those of Ed Ford Jr., and Jackson Baker. The score as given is shorthand (i.e., the video begins late in the game and a score of "eight," say, actually means 18. It saves breath to call it out that way. Or something. Quite the opposite of the prolix commentaries heard in your average city council meeting.)

For best effect, watch match in full screen mode.

The Tennessee Conservative Union held one in Knoxville earlier this month in which the four major Republican gubernatorial candidates were measured. Lt. Governor Ron Ramsey of Blountville won that one with 123 votes; Knoxville Mayor bill Haslam had 80 votes, and Chattanooga congressman Zach Wamp had 70. Memphis’ GOP entry, District Attorney General Bill Gibbons, had one (count’ em, 1).

That might seem devastating for the Memphian, who also trails the others in fundraising, but, interestingly enough, Gibbons’ Republican rivals concurred at this past weekend’s Pasta & Politics Dinner in Memphis with his own skepticism toward the Knoxville straw poll’s possible meaning.

Most interestingly, Wamp, who has wondered out loud about Gibbons dropping out of the race, pooh-poohed the results as an indicator of Gibbons’ long-range potential.

“All these things don’t really matter in the big scheme of things,” said Wamp “Most often they’re a matter of how many tables a candidate buys, or how many tickets a candidate buys to an event.” The Chattanoogan said a “scientific survey” would give a better idea, and cited one he had done in July, which showed himself leading but the other three candidates — including Gibbons — bunched close behind.

“Gibbons actually was pretty strong in the Memphis media market, and this is a big county,” Wamp said.

He noted, as did the others (and, as had Gibbons himself) that the Memphis D.A. is not from the Knoxville area but will likely have a chance to get better known there.

Bill Haslam, who is from Knoxville and, in fact, serves as the city’s chief executive, said, “I think straw votes are valuable, but it’s always dangerous to read too much into them. They’re fun for everyone,but I wouldn’t read much into them. I wasn’t there, and Bill wasn’t there, either, and he’s not from there.”

Nor would Ramsey, who won that poll, draw too many conclusion ns from it. “I did well, and that’s all I care about,” he said.

And only this past weekend there was a straw poll for Democratic candidates that engendered more skepticism than credibility.

This one was held at a Democratic Party event in Kingsport that was scantily attended – most likely because of a University of Tennessee football game held at the same time on Saturday. Only three gubernatorial candidates attended – Memphis state senator Jim Kyle, Dresden state senator Roy Herron, and Nashville businessman Ward Cammack – and the number of people who gathered to hear them numbered no more than 50, at best.

Yet straw-vote results, based on tickets sold for the pot-luck affair, were given out as follows: Herron, 85; Jackson businessman Mike McWherter, 20; Kyle and Cammack, 12 each; and former state Rep. Kim McMillan, 9. There were 12 votes cast as undecided. All of that totals 150.

Cammack counted 149, and commented on his campaign website:” The Sullivan County Straw Poll. Amazing. 47 people in the room, yet 149 votes cast. And, all counted before the speeches. Hmm. Some attendees denied votes. Subtlety Rating: Unimpressive. And, not worth the drive.”

Kyle was similarly bemused by the announced vote totals and thought of passing along a tweet on the subject but was talked out of it by his aides.

As for Herron, he trumpeted the results in a press release which was headed “Roy Herron Wins 2nd Straight Straw Poll” and which included this sentiment: ““I am humbled and grateful to the voters of Sullivan County. The people here in northeast Tennessee are just like those I represent in middle and west Tennessee: hard-working, family-loving, God-fearing people. I’m grateful for their kindness to me today.”

• Candidates Kelsey; Pakis-Gillon

The reasoning for such a refusal is the obvious one: Why give an underdog a position of parity?

So when the Memphis/Shelby County League of Women Voters, roughly a month ago, sounded out both Adrienne Pakis-Gillon, the Democrat running in the December 1st special general election for state Senate District 31, and former state Rep. Brian Kelsey, her Republican opponent, about a joint appearance, it was not surprising that Pakis-Gillon should accept right away.

Nor was it extraordinary for Kelsey to put off giving a positive response. He, after all, was heavily favored — for reasons of name recognition, because of an impressive campaign war-chest, and, not least, because he was the Republican running in an area, centered on Germantown, that is historically Republican.

Neither the League nor Pakis-Gillon wanted to leave it at that, however. They persisted in trying to get a straight up-or-down answer from Kelsey.

It is fair to say that the response Kelsey gave to the Flyer Thursday night was fairly categorical: “Why should I waste my time with the League of Liberal Women Voters when I’m trying to deal with real voters?” Kelsey said, “Nobody’s been more accessible to the voters than I’ve been,” and he pointed out that early voting in the special-election race had started and said that he was spending considerable time every day at polling places greeting voters. “It’s too late to be talking about this now, anyhow,” he said.

As for debating Pakis-Gillon, Kelsey said, “What’s to debate? She’s a Barack Obama big-spending liberal, and I’m a conservative in tune with the conservative sentiments of this district.”

In short: No to the idea of debating.

Peg Watkins, president of the MSCLWV, professed to find Kelsey’s characterization of her organization “amazing,” maintaining that the League was formally non-partisan and studiedly neutral concerning elections. “I’d be happy to send him a copy of our mission statement,” she said.

And, indeed, when Kelsey was reminded that the immediate past president of the League, Dee Nollner, was a Republican, he grudgingly acknowledged the fact. “Okay, there are a few, but mainly they’re the League of Liberal Women Voters, and I don’t have time for them.”

For her part, Pakis-Gillon said that she intended to represent the entire community, Democrats and Republicans. “I don’t put a label on myself,” she said. “I’ve worked with members of both parties on community projects, and they’re all entitled to representation in the Senate.”

The December 1st election will determine who fills the seat vacated by former state Senator Paul Stanley, who resigned last summer after becoming involved in a sex-and-blackmail scandal involving his legislative intern.

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• Mayor A C Wharton exchanged business cards with 91-year-old veteran Frank Mullinax after ceremony at West Tennessee Veterans Cenmetary in Germantown.

Memphis mayor A C Wharton got in some smack talk Wednesday in response to Shelby County Commissioner Joe Ford’s critical remarks Monday about the financial prowess of Wharton’s recent administration as county mayor. Ford made the remarks in the course of his still unresolved contest with fellow commissioner J.W. Gibson to become interim county mayor.

Midway of the nearly 30 ballot-marathon that failed to produce a winner, both Ford and Gibson bridled at Commissioner Deidre Malone’s attempt to break a recurring 5-5 impasse in the voting by nominating a would-be compromise candidate, current county CAO and finance director Jim Huntzicker, who occupied that position under Wharton.

Gibson, the beneficiary of Malone’s votes up to that point (and later) seemed mildly put out, saying to Malone, “You never cease to amaze me.” But Ford used stronger language, suggesting that the “former administration” was guilty of outright fiscal mismanagement that could result in “disaster” if its financial practices were to be continued for the next several months.

Asked his reaction following a Veteran’s Day ceremony Wednesday, Wharton said Ford was off base with the criticism, which he said showed little understanding of the facts. “That’s one place he should never have gone,” Wharton said, suggesting that Ford’s remarks were made for political effect and nothing else.

Wharton was asked if Ford’s criticism should therefore be regarded as “ill-founded,” and responded, smiling wryly, “He doesn’t even know enough about the question to have any idea whether what he’s saying is ill-founded or well-founded or whatever.”

Elections may come and go, but it's always fundraising season. Politicians greet their supporters in various ways at such affairs — some with long speeches, some with short speeches, some with no speeches at all. Shelby County Commissioner Steve Mulroy, a professor of law at the University of Memphis, finds it hard to suppress his theatric/literary bent.

Here's how Mulroy did it at his most recent fundraiser/reception at a "House Party to Re-elect Steve Mulroy in 2010" at the Midtown home of Jonathan Cole & Paul Linxwiler.

Really, it lasted less than five hours from beginning to end, but Monday's meeting of the Shelby County Commission — the core of which was an effort to name an interim county mayor to serve until the general election next August — had the feel of a marathon.

The wear and tear was such that even the two commissioners — acting chairman Sidney Chism and Henri Brooks — who had vowed midway of the event to continue all night if necessary to get a winner, were content by late afternoon to accept a postponement until a special meeting of Tuesday, November 17, when those members of the commission eligible to vote will try again.

Though commissioner George Flinn and county CAO Jim Huntzicker (both briefly) and erstwhile commission chair and acting mayor Joyce Avery (intermittently) were also candidates, Monday’s session was essentially an unyielding standoff between commissioners Joe Ford and J.W. Gibson.

Both are Democrats, though each would boast — and maintain — support across political boundaries. Their support was indeed perfectly balanced. Except on those few occasions when Avery or Flinn or Huntzicker could claim a vote or two, the final tally for each of the 24 ballots was an unvarying 5 to 5.

Ford was supported by Democrats Matt Kuhn, Steve Mulroy, and Chism and by Republicans Mike Ritz and Wyatt Bunker. Gibson's backers were Democrats Deidre Malone, James Harvey, and Brooks, and Republicans Flinn and Mike Carpenter. Not only was party not a major factor, neither was ideology, as each support group ran the gamut from right to left.

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• Commissioners Gibson and Ford listen as acting county mayor Joyce Avery makes the case for herself.

What did figure were complex personal relationships (both pro and con), paybacks for previous alliances, patently opportunistic calculations on the part of some commissioners, and suchlike. The only time the standoff became heated was when Huntzicker was nominated by Malone as an expedient to break the impasse.

In addressing the commission for the nth time on behalf of his candidacy, Ford denounced the "former administration" (current Memphis mayor A C Wharton's as much as Huntzicker's) for fiscal irresponsibility. In his turn, Gibon took verbal potshots at the "negative old politics," which he linked to Ford by name.

Malone was not the only one who tried to end the stalemate. At one point, Harvey implied unmistakably that he might consider going over to the other side if another Gibson advocate would go with him. None did. So Harvey, too, stayed put.

Former Memphis city councilman John Vergos was a presence in the county auditorium through Monday's session, and he made it clear that he hoped to be considered as a compromise candidate. His time didn't come Monday, and it may never.

Between now and next week, other third-party names will be considered, and the partisans of Messrs. Ford and Gibson (and mayhap of Avery and Flinn as well) will sound out their colleagues on such deals (Sunshine Law or no Sunshine Law) as may break the tie and produce a winner.

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• Acting county mayor Joyce Avery: "I'm going for it."

And she says her name will be placed in nomination by another GOP colleague, George Flinn, who had previously indicated that he himself would be an active candidate for interim mayor — a position that will be held by somebody until the election of a permanent mayor in the regular countywide election cycle next August.

As for Flinn’s own ambitions, they would apparently be shelved — at least until the late rounds of what could be extended balloting by commission members on Monday.

“He said he’ll see how it goes,” Avery said on Sunday, taking a break from a reception in her honor at her Arlington home. In any case, “George is going to nominate me. And he has never said anything to me that he hasn’t followed through on.”

Avery had told the Flyer last week that she would be a candidate for interim mayor but later amended that to say that she would only be available as a fallback possibility in case of a deadlock between other candidates. That reticence is over with now.

”I’ve really been praying about this,” Avery said on Sunday. “I’ve had so much feedback, from both Republicans and Democrats who have encouraged me to seek the office. I’m going for it tomorrow.” She noted that she was “the first sitting county commissioner to be invited on The Med board” and said that primary goal would be to “really push funding for The Med.”

Avery, who had been serving as the current commission chair, is currently eligible to be acting mayor for up to 45 days from the date of her temporary accession on Monday, October 26, the day A C Wharton resigned as county mayor to take over the job of city mayor that he was elected to last month.

That means she could have easily served as acting mayor until the second week of December before an interim mayor had to be named according to the terms of the county charter.

Avery doesn’t pretend to understand the reasons for a rush to name someone earlier. “I had barely sat in my chair for an hour before Ritz brought forth a resolution,” she says.

But, while considering the rush to judgment “disrespectful,” she says she asked both Ritz and another GOP commissioner, Wyatt Bunker, for their support in case the candidate both are supporting at this point, Democratic commissioner Joe Ford, doesn’t make it.

With Flinn’s apparent withdrawal from the nominating process (though not necessarily from late-ballot consideration), the likely active nominees on Monday are Ford, fellow Democratic commissioner J.W. Gibson, former Collierville mayor Linda Kerley, and now Avery.

Flinn’s change of status would also change the numbers from a partisan point of view. Active nominees on the commission are precluded from voting, as is Avery as acting mayor. On a body now constituted, at full strength, of eight Democrats and five Republican, that means six Democrats and four Republicans will be eligible to vote.

If Flinn should be nominated, the numbers of those eligible would be six Democrats and three Republicans. Flinn’s participation in the voting could be considerable indeed.

• Chancellor Perkins

Chancellor Perkins denied the immediate injunctive relief sought by Common Cause of Tennessee and associated counsel, including University of Memphis law professor and county commissioner Steve Mulroy, but explicitly invalidated the persistent claim by defendants Hargett and Goins that no acceptable voting machines are available to carry out the act’s mandates.

What the Act, passed by the Tennessee legislature with virtual bi-partisan unanimity in 2008, calls for is that all 95 Tennessee counties be outfitted with optical-scan voting machines in time for the 2010 election cycle. The machines would electronically process paper ballots.
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Hargett and Goins have raised several objections — the most noteworthy being that the Act requires machines meeting 2005 standards of the Federal Election Assistance Commission, a monitoring body established under the federal Help America Vote Act (HAVA). In his ruling after Thursday’s ruling on a motion by Common Cause to require immediate action by Hargett and Goins, Chancellor Perkins summarized the key points this way:

“The TVCA does not require the voting system to be implemented by the State of Tennessee to meet 2005 standards. The Court determines that the State is obligated to take prompt, effective steps to meet the statutory deadline using compliant voting systems.

“Without making a direct ruling at this early stage about what HAVA requires, the Court determines that the State has discretion in determining whether to utilize the 2002 or 2005 standards, as long as this choice of standards does not jeopardize meeting the legislative mandate to implement a voting system that uses compliant precinct-based optical scanners on or before the November 2010 general election….”

Chancellor Perkins declined at this point, however, to find that the defendants in the suit had “wrongfully” intended to obstruct implementation of the act, and the sentence granting them “discretion” on the matter of standards weighs in the defendants’ favor, just as his warning that they may not “jeopardize” implementation of the Act weighs in favor of the plaintiffs.

The bottom line is that both sides appear to have enough wiggle room to continue a protracted struggle that has taken on discernibly partisan outlines.

In his statement on the ruling, Secretary of State Hargett invoked another major argument against immediate implementation of TVCA — that of exorbitant expense, concluding: “…Responsible legislators argue with these hard economic times upon us, it is not the time for additional taxes or government spending. As I stated earlier, we are preparing to go back to paper ballots as directed under current law by the November 2010 election. We understand this debate will continue in the next legislative session."

While Hargett’s statement would appear to be guardedly compliant with the Act and Thursday’s ruling, the references to “current law” and to the prospect that “this debate will continue in the next legislative session” would seem to validate the fears of TVCA supporters that Hargett andf Goins mean to postpone any effort to implement the TVCA in the hope that the General Assembly, meeting in January, will amend the Act, negate it, or postpone the date of its implementation.

The unspoken premise of the showdown — which, in political terms, matches key Republicans like Hargett and Goins against Democratic spokespersons — is that next year’s elections will determine the shape of federal and state reapportionment in the elections of the next decade. Demcorats have been outspoken that only a “paper trail” can prevent electronic hacking or other potential distortions of election results.

Various proponents of the Act have rebutted claims, asserted by Hargett, Goins, and others, that the Act would impose prohibitive expenses on the 95 Tennessee counties, maintaining that $35 million in federal HAVA funds already dispensed to the state are more than enough to offset the costs of implementation.

Mulroy issued a lengthy statement interpreting Chancellor Edwards’s ruling as a qualified victory for the plaintiffs and said, “If the Defendants do not promptly implement, the Plaintiffs will have an additional opportunity to seek relief from the court.”

State Rep. Gary Odom of Nashville, Democratic leader in the state House, said in a statement, “…The court has ruled that it is time for the secretary of state’s office to stop dragging its feet and to provide for paper balloting for all of our voting machines in Tennessee elections by 2010.”

And state Senator Roy Herron (D-Dresden), a candidate for governor, said, “…I call on Secretary Hargett to implement the Voter Confidence Act and begin purchasing new voting machines with paper ballots without delay. The time to protect our vote is now….”

A statement by Tennessee Democratic Party chairman Chip Forrester included this assertion: "...Mr. Hargett cannot use the bogus claim anymore that the machines do not exist. Now maybe he will follow the law and do the job he was sworn to do."

But all indications were that, pending another court test or ruling in the next two months, the battle may well continue into the General Assembly in January before anything definitive is done.

Another statement by Hargett suggests as much by indicating that the shape of a "request for proposal" (an invitation by the state for competitive bidding to supply the machines) cannot be determined until December or January and that "[a]t that time, we will issue a RFP to purchase machines certified to the strongest standards."

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• Joyce Avery on the day of her swearing-in as acting county mayor

Then Republican commissioner George Flinn formally applied as a candidate. Other candidates, including businessman/activist Anthony Tate, have also applied.

The latest possibility to succeed Avery is Avery herself. The acting mayor, a Republican, said Tuesday she had been encouraged by “numerous” women and by two Democratic colleagues on the commission to become a candidate for the interim job, which would extend until the election of a new mayor in August. Avery said she would make herserlf available in case of a stalemate on early ballots of Monday's formal voting by the commission for an interim mayor. (Democratic commissioner Steve Mulroy is another fallback possibility.)

“I’m enjoying the job,” said Avery, who said she would not run in the regular election, however.

After conducting interviews with candidates on Wednesday, the commission will elect an interim mayor at its regular Monday meeting.

Thursday, October 29, 2009 will probably go down in local political annals as the crucial second day of federal grand jury testimony in the matter of Willie Herenton’s business dealings. Former city attorney Elbert Jefferson, who brought with him a recording of the former mayor discussing the now famous Greyhound Bus land deal, was the main witness.

For most people, even political junkies, that was the crux of the day, after which nothing much — nothing political, anyhow — mattered much. Actually, a great deal went on afterward, and who is to say that the five public events — count ‘em, 5 — that occurred later on Thursday evening, more or less simultaneously, were not equally momentous? Not the participants, surely!

First, at the Homebuilders building on Germantown Parkway, Republican county commission candidate Terry Roland (District 4, Position 3) got ready to meet and greet his public at a reception. Taking no chances, Roland doubled up with a cardboard cutout of himself.

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• Terry Roland/Terry Roland

Next, Danny Kail, Democratic candidate for Probate Court clerk, held a fundraiser at 200 Wagner Place downtown. Among the attendees were quasi-namesakes Dan Norwood and Danny Presley (first and fourth in this lineup, from left), along with Bobby Lanier and Judy Palmer. Kail himself is second from left in the picture.

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• Danny Kail (2nd from left) and friends

Not far from the Kail affair, at Earnestine and Hazel’s Restaurant downtown, Democratic gubernatorial candidate Jim Kyle was meeting and greeting — in his case, members of Memphis’ legal community. Here, Kyle (left) says hello to brand new author D’Army Bailey (right), as Karl Schledwitz adds his own welcome.

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• Jim Kyle (left) meets and greets.

Also going on downtown was a forum —“Is Health Care a Right?”— at 80 Monroe Avenue. Participants in the event, sponsored by the American Constitution Society, were (from left) Dr. Arthur Sutherland, Dr. Frank McGrew, moderator Steve Mulroy, and attorney Charles Key.

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• Sutherland, McGrew, Mulroy, and Key at health care forum

Finally, members of Shelby County’s Republican community gathered at the Woodland Hills Country for a well-attended dinner/fashion show/talent contest/fundraiser sponsored by the Republican Women of Purpose club. Among the acts (to keep on using the forward-slant key on our computer) was radiologist/broadcasting magnate/Shelby County commissioner/blues harmonica player George Flinn.

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• Bluesman George Flinn

• Physics pathfinders Einstein (left) and Herenton

Former Memphis mayor Willie Herenton seems to have done just that — or to have given the concept a good college try — in his letter to U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder, released Tuesday.

In the letter, which follows one to him from the U.S. Attorney's office formally confirming that he is a target of investigation, Herenton complains to Holder that the probe, into a business transaction of his involving the relocation of a Greyhound Bus terminal, represents “a well-orchestrated attempt to influence the outcome of the Congressional election next year.”

Herenton goes on to allege that “the involvement of law enforcement agencies and the Justice Department in local politics and in attempting to influence the outcome of an election is not only unethical but also crosses the line of acceptable political discourse."

The problem with this is that the first news reports of the Justice Department probe -- into Herenton’s complicated involvement for profit with the sale of the Greyhound property, which then mayor Herenton had advocated on public-policy grounds -- appeared in The Commercial Appeal in January, while the mayor’s declaration of a congressional candidacy did not come until April, a full three months later.

Until we see the former mayor’s proofs, we will have to take it on faith that he has indeed reversed the processes of causation and time, so that events under way in January were somehow brought into being by another event considerably later in time.

At such time as these proofs emerge, and in light of high honors recently won by other notable politicians (yes, we’re talking about President Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize), we are prepared to insist, in all fairness, that our former mayor be given serious consideration for the Nobel Prize in physics.

Meanwhile, there are skeptics who would suggest that traidtional chronology should apply here, and that Herenton's accusation is in fact a red herring designed to discredit the federal investigation, or even that his announcement of a congressional race itself was such a red herring, desiged to deflect the consequences of an already ongoing investigation.

We would suggest that such skeptics should furnish their own proofs — with or without the assistance of the Justice Department.

And, er, yes, folks, this article is a spoof. Or at least we think we're kidding!

But former mayor Herenton is not. He made the claims reported here in dead seriousness.

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• A C Wharton at Friday night's fundraiser

First, in a 10:30 ceremony in the Shelby County Commission chambers comes the inauguration of commission chair Joyce Avery, a Republican, as acting mayor of Shelby County. Avery will assume the office being vacated by A C Wharton and will serve as mayor for 45 days, at which time the commission will designate an interim mayor, whose term will run until the installation of a duly elected county mayor in the general countywide election of 2010.

Commission chair pro tem Sidney Chism, will assume the duties of commission chair.

Next, at noon, comes the inauguration in the Hall of Mayors of Wharton as Mayor of Memphis. In keeping with the demonstrated universality of his voter base in an election which saw him garner 60 percent in a 25-candidate field, the new mayor is expected to make an appeal to unity.

In remarks made Friday night at a downtown fundraiser for his longtime friend, State Representative G.A. Hardaway, Wharton presented a somewhat different side, alternately playful and tough.

Deferring to Hardaway and to TV’s Judge Joe Brown, his former law partner who had preceded him, Wharton began with a modest note but quickly escalated that into an unusually assertive statement: “I am not the mayor, but I’m the man of the minute. This is just the intermission. I’ve taught him [Hardaway] how to stomp people. It ain’t enough just to win, G.A. You’ve got to stomp people….”

Wharton would conclude his brief remarks this way: “If you let the so-called experts tell you they know this city and who the voters are, they don’t know jack. We know, and the numbers show it. We know, and let me tell you right now, anybody who contests or tells you they know better where the hearts and minds of Memphians are, they do so at their own peril. If they didn’t learn this time they’ll learn next time.”

Next time, presumably, is the regular general election of 2011, and the new mayor’s challengers have been duly warned.

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• U.S. Rep. Zach Wamp

Some of the stops for Wamp during his Thursday/Friday stop over were: a meet-and-greet in Collierville, appearances on the Ben Ferguson show on WREC and at meetings of Guns and Ammo and the NRA, a get-together with local supporters at the Crescent club, and a Friday morning tour of the Kipp Academy, a local charter school.

After the Kipp Academy tour, he talked briefly with the Flyer, citing his recent endorsement by the conservative organization Red State (which he quoted as saying, “the last thing we need is any more squishy moderates in the state of Tennessee.”

Wamp also indulged in some speculation about possible future-tense dropouts from the Republican gubernatorial field by Lt. Governor Ron Ramsey and District Attorney General Bill Gibbons of Memphis. He himself vowed to stay in “whether Ramsey stays in and whether Gibbons stays in” or whether the GOP primary is “a two-man race, a three-man race, or a four-man race.”

As for presumed Republican frontrunner Bill Haslam, the mayor of Knoxville, Wamp said the “question of the race for October” that he got from people on the stump was, ‘We know you would make the best governor, but what about Haslam’s money?’” Wamp concluded about the Haslam campaign, “If that’s all they have after ten months of campaigning, that’s an empty suit.”

More on Haslam: “His money’s going to give him some name recognition, but there’s not much to connect the money to.” As for Haslam’s door-to-door campaigning in Bartlett last month, Wamp was scornful: “That’s a Tom Ingram stunt. It’s trying to make a rich guy look like a regular person.”