I have a confession to make about a secret obsession I harbor: I am a huge fan of a television show called River Monsters. It stars a charmingly oddball Englishman with bad teeth (is that redundant?) named Jeremy Wade, who calls himself an "extreme fisherman," and fancies himself something of a piscine detective.
The show's enduring conceit, which never seems to vary, is that Jeremy hears about a mysterious death or horrific attack in some faraway river somewhere, supposedly caused by a fish — a "monster." So off goes Jeremy to Nigeria, the Congo, India, South America, Russia, you name it — to "investigate."
Upon arriving in, say, Nicaragua (to cite a recent example), Jeremy begins interviewing locals who may know something about the incident in question — the victim's friends, family, etc. This usually entails a visit to some obscure hut along a jungle waterway, where Jeremy learns a few details, which he dutifully scribbles into a notebook.
Next, he typically visits a local fish-market and talks to local fishermen to see if there are any creatures who might grow to sufficient size or fearsomeness to be able to kill someone. I should add here that most of these deaths are not due to anyone being eaten by a river monster, but more often by their being dragged or knocked out of a boat. But still, ooh, scary.
At this point in every show, Jeremy will tell his viewers that that in order to prove whatever fish he's decided to try to catch can kill a man (or child), he "has to try to catch one."
Well, of course, he doesn't, really. We know that and Jeremy knows that. There are no big fish in any waters that he is fishing that are unknown to science. And if we (or he) really wanted to know if, say, a South American arapaima has or could kill someone by knocking them out of a boat, it's easy to google. But that would ruin the fun.
So, after the requisite half hour or so of set-up, Jeremy finally starts a-fishin'. Normally, he'll throw out a small bait or lure on light tackle, just to "see what might be out there." Then there will be a few intriguing catches of exotic (and to me, at least, fascinatingly weird fishes). But none of these, Jeremy will say, helpfully explaining the obvious, could "kill a man."
Then Jeremy ups the ante by a) going further up-river where no man has gone before (sort of) and b) rigging up some big-ass tackle with large chunks 'o bait. If there are tigers, bears, caimans, crocodiles, poisonous snakes, or anything else remotely dangerous nearby, Jeremy will let us know in no uncertain terms, that he is risking his life. For science.
The pay-off is, of course, watching Jeremy finally catch a giant-ass fish in the last 10 minutes of the show. Those who watch regularly can quote his catch-phrases and revel in his googly eyes and nervous tics and breathless narration. I primarily admire the man for coming up with a schtick that enables him to travel the world chasing giant fresh-water fish in the name of pseudo-science. Plus, I like pseudo-science. And pseudo-nature shows.
I'm not sure how much longer Jeremy can keep it up, though. After four seasons, he's running out of even semi-plausible river "monsters." A recent show, for example, featured Jeremy "investigating" whether a giant tarpon could knock a man out of his boat and kill him. Well, first, a tarpon is a saltwater fish and Jeremy stretched the show's concept by claiming it was in "brackish" water. Second, he was fishing from a high-tech kayak with a fly rod, using a guide. Lots of fisherman pay big money to do this. Science, it's not. Fun, I'm sure it is. Watch the video for a sample dose of the action.
And if you've not seen it, prepare to laugh inappropriately.
Note: The station has since apologized for the error.
Anyway, in short, due to the fact that the state's previous beer tax was based on the price of beer, rather than volume, as it is in most other states, Tennessee had the highest beer tax in the country, and ...
Well, it's sort of complicated, and it's Friday, and I want a beer, so I'm just going to publish the state's press release. Cheers!
(NASHVILLE, TN), June 28, 2013 -- On Monday July 1, beer tax reform legislation that was overwhelmingly adopted by the General Assembly in April will take effect as a vast array of new laws are enacted. Upon enactment, the Beer Tax Reform Act of 2013 will convert Tennessee’s outdated price-based tax to a volume-based tax, bringing the state in line with neighboring states and modernizing its tax structure. The bill was sponsored by State Representative Cameron Sexton (R-Crossville) and State Senator Brian Kelsey (R-Germantown).
“This new law promotes competitiveness and economic opportunity, as well as choice for consumers,” said Senator Kelsey. “Tennessee beer sales have declined 5 percent over the past decade, while the revenues from the wholesale tax climbed to over 30 percent. This demonstrates the punitive nature of this antiquated tax which just doesn’t make sense.”
Under the current law, which was created in the 1950s, Tennessee leads all other states’ beer tax rate by a 12% margin at $37 per barrel. This is more than 4 times the $8.69 rate in Virginia. Other states in the region include $19.13 in North Carolina, $23.96 in Kentucky, $7.51 in Arkansas and $13.23 in Mississippi, $32.65 in Alabama, $1.86 in Missouri and $30.73 in Georgia.
According to Kelsey, the new tax structure will still preserve the current levels of funding that the state’s local governments receive from the tax. The legislation was supported by a coalition consisting of a wide variety of businesses and consumers.
Some facts about Tennessee’s old beer tax system:
• Under the old tax, Tennessee had the highest beer tax in the country, and because it was largely based on price, not volume, it would have continued to keep growing and growing if left unchecked.
• Tennessee’s old beer tax rate used the barrel as its standard rate of measure. A barrel is 31 gallons of beer. That beer can be sold by the can, bottle, case or keg, but as far as the old tax was concerned, the rate was based on the barrel.
• For the past decade, beer sales have declined by five percent in Tennessee, but the local wholesale tax revenues have climbed rapidly, up more than 30 percent.
• Tennessee became the highest beer tax rate in the country in 2008, overtaking Alaska.
• Higher price-point beers were taxed higher, which unfairly penalized Tennessee’s young craft-brewing industry.
I'm not sure whether to be happy or sad about this. We know this decision could mean more unsafe cars on our streets. And it might mean more air pollution. On the other hand, the great majority of vehicles built since 2000 don't pollute as much as older vehicles. Cops will pull you over if one of your lights is out, and the inspection process may have kept some folks from getting plates who now will get them. I'm more worried about bad brakes on the street than anything else. You're on your own for wiper blades.
The announcement added that if your vehicle tags expire in June, you are expected to get your car inspected before the stations close forever on Friday. Yeah, that will happen. I bet the "lines" at the inspection station have been nonexistent for weeks, in anticipation of the closings.
In other news, my vehicle's plates expire in July, which means I might just delay fixing that 7-inch windshield crack on my XTerra a little longer.
After the race, contestants gathered for beer, music, and camaraderie. Here are a few photos I took.
Graham has worked at the CA for 33 years, the last three as managing editor. Here is Graham's quote from the CA release: “This is not something I envisioned when I started as a bureau reporter in our Jackson, Tennessee, bureau right out of college. But it’s something I take very seriously," Graham said Monday. "I revere the institution and what it has meant to the region for 173 years. My goal is to contribute to its history in a meaningful way by keeping the journalism strong and relevant.”
Here's the CA story on Graham's promotion (paywall).
Delta Airlines announced Tuesday that it would cut the number of its Memphis flights and no longer use the city airport as a hub for its operations. As of September 3rd, daily Delta flights will drop from 94 to around 60 or so. The airline will also cut 230 jobs in Memphis.
In a memo to employees, senior Delta vice presidents Tony Charaf and Gil West wrote: “Despite a series of adjustments in recent years, high fuel costs and the predominant use of inefficient 50-seat regional jets in a small local-traffic market have made Memphis unprofitable as a hub.”
As the Flyer has reported, Delta has been raising fares and reducing its Memphis flights for several years.
You can read the story linked above for details, but the short of it is that Blackburn either doesn't understand what an equal pay law is, or she is just trying to spin her refusal to vote for such laws as a principled ideological stance. Either way, if she really thinks "most women" don't want equal pay protection for doing equal work, she's piteously out of touch with reality.
Here's the governor's official statement: NASHVILLE – Tennessee Gov. Bill Haslam released the following statement regarding HB 1191/SB 1248:
“Agriculture is the No. 1 industry in Tennessee. Farmers play a vital role in our state’s economy, heritage and history. I understand their concerns about large scale attacks on their livelihoods. I also appreciate that the types of recordings this bill targets may be obtained at times under false pretenses, which I think is wrong,” Haslam said.
“Our office has spent a great deal of time considering this legislation. We’ve had a lot of input from people on all sides of the issue. After careful consideration, I am going to veto the legislation. Some vetoes are made solely on policy grounds. Other vetoes may be the result of wanting the General Assembly to reconsider the legislation for a number of reasons. My veto here is more along the lines of the latter. I have a number of concerns.
“First, the Attorney General says the law is constitutionally suspect. Second, it appears to repeal parts of Tennessee’s Shield Law without saying so. If that is the case, it should say so. Third, there are concerns from some district attorneys that the act actually makes it more difficult to prosecute animal cruelty cases, which would be an unintended consequence.
“For these reasons, I am vetoing HB1191/SB1248, and I respectfully encourage the General Assembly to reconsider this issue.”
To which I would add, "Way to go, Bill."
We go to a rustic cabin along Beaver Creek, which at its widest could handle two rowboats passing (if boats were allowed), and which narrows to 10 or 12 feet in many spots.
The trout are fat and plentiful, since the stream is stocked. And it's also inhabited by a few smaller native fish. Some days we catch 10 or 12; some days we get skunked. The water is clear and the fish are easily spooked.
But the fishing is almost secondary. Four of us are now three, a yearly reminder of fleeting time and mortality. We come from Detroit, Erie, and Memphis and bond over cigars, campfires, bullshit, and the occasional fat trout.
I just got back. Here are a few pictures.
A precipitous drop occurred on the tweeted "news" that the president had been injured in a bombing incident at the White House.
AP quickly regained control of its site and tweeted that it had been hacked, but the response from Wall Street clearly illustrates the damage that can be wreaked when social media mischief occurs. As one wag tweeted:
"Somewhere the Twitter CEO is stroking a white cat saying 'excellent' realizing Twitter can tank the market."
The irrepressibly wacky legislator from Knoxville thought it would be hilarious to post a "humorous" graphic of a pressure cooker as a weapon. Because, you know, those murderers in Boston used bombs made from pressure cookers, so ... funny, right?
His point, if you want to call it that, was to illustrate the hypocrisy of the left for calling for gun control after the Sandy Hook shootings but not calling for pressure cooker control after the Boston bombings. Or something.
It's all too tiresome to explain further. If you really must read his rationale, go to his blog, which is probably what he had in mind anyway.