Also, for the sake of GOD, do not allow the ex-democrats to to consider just what perverted values and assumptions would allow such a diligent, thoughtful, and conventional man to propose so perverse a plan as that you propose.
Offer to buy the ex-democrats a vacation to the beautiful town of Piedras Negras in Mexico. It may help to tell them that the ovens there are open for business.
Make sure that they know that everyone that thinks global warming is not happening will be dealt with harshly, and that the best solution (wink wink nod nod) to the population problem is, though a modest proposal, at hand quickly.
Tell the ex-democrats that lingerie is racist, Charlie. That'll bring 'em home. Go into an expensive retreat in the desert to get back in touch with yourself, Charlie, drink too much wine (snicker), call yourself a human trash can, and tweet the whole thing.
That will work.
Maybe you could offer to sell them baby part's, Charlie. Real cheap.
I forgot to add, Charlie, that all of the above goes over really well when almost everyone you are yelling at is either female, married to a female, born of a female, is some race other than white, is married to, or has dated, and/or has children or grandchildren that are of some race other than white or are mixed race. This is especially true in the Latino community given that Latino, by definition, includes any race whatever, and in the Muslim community, given the same, or in the Catholic, given the same, or to Christians as a whole, given the same.
It's as if the entire Democratic Party ideology is designed to appeal only to people that have little or no life experience (watching TV doesn't count) and little to no education.
I would suggest to you that offering people a 15 dollar minimum wage whilst calling them racist, white supremacist, sexist, bigots, and homophobes and offering to replace them with a lower wage worker from some other place on earth just won't work, especially if you are trying to take away their guns after you have run off all of the police in their neighborhood.
Perhaps you should try telling them that no one but a bigot would believe that the line of men a mile long that speak numerous languages other than English, brought here as children a few weeks ago, all with full beards, need a photo ID to vote. This works especially well when speaking to people that have to use a photo ID to do even the simplest of things, like buy alcohol or cigarettes, or stay in the movie theater after 6pm.
By Micaela Watts
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