Turns out, it's difficult to "merge" any organization with an entity which voted itself out of existence three years ago. Is "Martavius" Latin for "Willie?"
Reagan? Really? Not "Unprovoked Attack on Libya Park" or "Children Killed By U.S. Drones Park?" How about "Make Sure The Sequester Is As Rough As We Threatened It Would Be Park?"
Historians of the future will recall these as the definitive weeks in Memphis history: rename anything containing the word "Confederate" and then promptly demand a Master.
Steve Cohen is a genius. Your daughter's "modelling career" needs a boost? No problem. Just diddle her tweet while you're sitting at the State Of The Union Address. The cameras are constantly panning the room, you're sure to get caught. And when everybody in the free world is screaming, "You're at the fucking State Of The Union Address, WTF is so damned important, you stupid Tennessee hick?!", an investigation is inevitable. When they come across your social networking history and spot your daughter's pics, she's gonna get her brains Googled out. Now she's just a couple thousand hits away from the Playboy spread she's been aspiring to. And the best part: you get to blame the whole controversy on those mean old Republicans.
Okay, so if we successfully get an amendment to the Constitution banning firearms, can we just not call it the 28th Amendment? That one's just gonna be ignored.
Oh, and is it true that the SCS teachers will be forced to take a pay cut and lose their career ladder while their adopted MCS colleagues maintain their already-higher pay scale for lower test scores? I don't know what to believe until the Flyer tells me.
I wonder if the Flyer will do a story on how many SCS teachers and administrators have resigned in the last two years under the pressure to increase their TCAP scores while they still can (scores which are already among the highest in the state and without much room for improvement). You know, one last push before 2013 when those scores no doubt drop. But Jackson Baker would have to be careful not to come off sounding like those conservative municipal school district nutjobs.
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By Hannah Sayle, Chris Herrington, Chris Shaw, Louis Goggans, Greg Akers, Bruce VanWyngarden, Jackson Baker and John Branston
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