RUSH DIGS TORTURE Warning: more sensitive readers may wish to have a puke bucket handy when they read the following commentary from the enlightened mind of Rush “Evil Blimp” Limbaugh. He spoke these words on May 5th. If there is justice in world he will regret them for the rest of his miserable life. If this doesn’t disgust you, then you’ve not the thinnest sliver of human decency residing in your miserable skin. “This is no different than what happens at the Skull and Bones initiation and we're going to ruin people's lives over it,” Rush said, referring to the torture of Iraqi P.O.W.s. “We're going to hamper our military and then we are going to really hammer them because they had a good time. You know, these people are being fired at every day. I'm talking about people having a good time, these people, you ever heard of emotional release? You of heard of need to blow some steam off?” If there was ever any doubt that Rush Limbaugh is a cretin, it has evaporated with this repulsive revelation. What’s Rush’s idea of a good time? WHAT’S HIS IDEA OF BLOWING OFF A LITTLE STEAM? Breaking chemical lights and pouring phosphoric liquid on detainees; threatening detainees with a charged 9mm; beating detainees with a broom handle and a chair; threatening rape; actual rape; sodomizing a detainee with a chemical light; Sodomizing a detainee with a broomstick; general beatings; taking pictures and videos of naked detainees, male and female, sometimes in graphic poses; taking pictures and videos of men forced to masturbate; forcing male detainees to wear women’s underwear; simulating electric torture; and allowing unmuzzled military dogs to attack a detainee: that’s Rush’s idea of Springtime good old fashioned frat-boy fun. But wait, there’s more. Rush also had this to say: “I think a lot of the American culture is being feminized. I think the reaction to the stupid torture is an example of the feminization of this country.” For indeed, only a metrosexual sissy could find broomstick sodomy abhorrent. Only a chickenhearted liberal, emasculated by either God, or HGTV would be put off by burning prisoners with acid. Real men dig torture. It’s a gas, gas, gas. On May 6 Rush changed his tune a bit. No longer was he comparing the Iraqi prison atrocities to fraternity antics. What took place at Abu Ghraib was now just a classic example of wholesome American porn. Or maybe it was more like a Britney Spears concert. Who can really tell what’s what these days? “The thing though that continually amazes,” Rush says, feigning bewilderment, “[is] Here we have these pictures of homoeroticism that look like standard good old American pornography, the Britney Spears or Madonna concerts or whatever, and yet the Libs upset about the mistreatment of these prisoners thought nothing of sitting back while mass graves were being filled with three to 500,000 Iraqis during the Saddam Hussein regime.” With this bizarre statement the Right’s great moral bloviator rose to an all-new low, and that, my friends, is no easy task for the muckraking Limbaugh. The conservative mantra--”We’re better than Clinton”--has been changed to, “We’re not as bad as Saddam. The dittoheads should all be terribly, terribly proud of their man behind the mic, especially veteran POW’s who were themselves the victims of torture in Vietnam. Our boys knew those gooks smashing their balls with hammers were just having a big ol’ porn party. It was totally cool man. Totally. Couched in opinion Rush’s commentary is protected under the first amendment, and that is how it should be. But every soccer mom in America who thinks the violent, erotic fictions presented by Hollywood invariably turn our kids to the dark side has to understand that the atrocities at Abu Ghraib are no fiction. But Rush says it was nothing more than a “good time,” just like “good old American porn.” In the words of President George W. Bush, I have to ask, “Is our children learning?”


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