Bianca Knows Best ... And Helps a California Dreamer 

Dear Bianca,

I've been dating the same guy off and on for six years now, but he's hardly ever home since his job requires him to be on the road for weeks at a time.

I love my boyfriend, but last week I suddenly caught myself daydreaming about a guy who's couch-surfing at a friend's house. The guy is visiting for a few weeks, and he'll be leaving to go home to California soon. We've been hanging out a lot lately and he's expressed an interest in me on several occasions. I don't know him that well, but he seems to have all the traits I look for in a guy.

Now I kind of have the hots for California guy, and I've decided that I really want to kiss him ... just once before he leaves town. Is it wrong to have these desires even though I have a boyfriend? Does it mean that I don't love my boyfriend as much as I think I do? If I act on my feelings and kiss California guy, is that okay, since I'll probably never see him again?

-- Hot for California Dude

Dear Hot,

It's perfectly normal to have a crush on someone else while you're in a relationship, but for the sake of that relationship, you should try to keep hands off. Lips, too.

Crushes are fun. Since you often don't know much about the person you're infatuated with, you can dream up how awesome they must be. But I guarantee you California guy has plenty of flaws (all men do). I doubt one kiss is worth messing up a six-year relationship.

Even if you kissed the couch-surfer and kept the secret from your boyfriend, the guilt could ruin your relationship in the long run. Or worse -- one of your friends could talk about your secret kiss and the news could come back to haunt you.

If you’re certain you're content with your semi-long distance relationship, save your smooches for your boyfriend. But you might want to give the relationship some long, hard thought. The fact that you're not content keeping this crush at a safe distance could be a sign that you're not totally happy with what you have.

If that's the case, talk to your boyfriend about it before spreading your saliva around. Once you've called the current relationship quits, you can be free to make out with couch-surfers the world over. Got a problem? E-mail Bianca at bphillips@memphisflyer.com.

Comments

Showing 1-1 of 1

Add a comment

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-1 of 1

Add a comment

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
    • Whistle-Blower’s Crime

      The current inquiry into possible Trump campaign misdeeds recalls a long-gone bit of personal history.
    • Enter the Prosecutor

      Like Caesar, Donald Trump should fear the Ides of March.
    • The “Fake News”

      Trump’s vilification of the media sounds familiar.

Blogs

News Blog

Pence Cancels Memphis Visit

Fly On The Wall Blog

MAF Has a New Meaning: Memphis Ass Farm

News Blog

Alexander to TVA: Don't Buy Wind Power

Intermission Impossible

Hattiloo Announces Season 12: August Wilson, Lynn Nottage, Soul Train...

News Blog

Memphis Theological Seminary Stands with Refugees

News Blog

Fight Over Forrest Statue Isn't Over

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Bianca Phillips

Readers also liked…

  • A Letter to the Memphis City Council

    The council gets an “F” for its performance on the Greensward decision.
    • Mar 10, 2016
  • A Zoo Solution?

    The answer to the Memphis Zoo’s parking dilemma may be just a block away.
    • Nov 20, 2015
  • Pay the Band

    Why we should be supporting proposed national music initiatives in Congress.
    • Aug 10, 2015
ADVERTISEMENT
© 1996-2017

Contemporary Media
460 Tennessee Street, 2nd Floor | Memphis, TN 38103
Visit our other sites: Memphis Magazine | Memphis Parent | Inside Memphis Business
Powered by Foundation