Bianca Knows Best ... And Helps a Cougar 

Dear Bianca,

I think something is horribly wrong with me. I can't keep a man for more than a few months before he moves away. My last two boyfriends have left town after accepting promotions or taking new jobs.

Neither relationship has been serious enough to warrant me packing up and leaving with them. Of course, that's likely because I only had a few months with each of them. If I'd had more time, perhaps one of the relationships could have developed into something more serious.

I'm a bit of a cougar, I must admit. I’m 55 years old, and both of these men have been in their mid-30s. Could age be the issue?

-- Hot Older Mama

Dear Hot Mama,

The only thing wrong with you is your penchant for younger men. Since 30 is the new 20, people in their mid-30s are at the height of their career life. They're getting promotions and relocating to other cities for better-paying positions.

If you want a man who'll stick around, date someone your own age or even a few years older. Most people in their mid-50s are set in their careers. They'll be retiring in a few years and stay in one place for the benefit of their retirement plan.

Besides, a man in his 30s is young enough to be your son. You may fancy yourself in the "hot older mom" role, but since men mature slower than women, you're essentially dating men with the maturity level of a woman in her late 20s. The age/maturity level gap is gap is really a bit too wide here, don't ya think?

If you insist on dating younger men, you might find a keeper with less financially-motivated types, but beware of stoners and slackers. There are plenty of men in their mid-30s who are floundering around, looking for a sugar mama to fund their pot habits. And shouldn't couples really share the recreational expenses?

Either way, you'll likely find someone to settle down with when the time is right. Losing two boyfriends in row for similar reasons is a little strange, but not yet indicative of a pattern. Who knows? The next guy, no matter his age, could be Mr. Right.

Got a problem? Bianca can solve it. Send advice queries to bphillips@memphisflyer.com.

Comments (19)

Showing 1-19 of 19

Add a comment

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-19 of 19

Add a comment

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
    • Hillary Mans Up

      If Hillary Clinton was a man, how different would this presidential race be?
    • Step Up, TVA!

      The TVA needs to ensure its most vulnerable customers can take advantage of cost-saving programs.

Blogs

Hungry Memphis

Another Best Memphis Burger Fest in the Books

From My Seat

A (Slightly Premature) Redbirds Season Wrapup

Film/TV/Etc. Blog

Music Video Monday: Don Lifted

Hungry Memphis

Guess Where I'm Eating Contest 110

News Blog

MATA Security Guard Placed on Diversion in Passenger Death

News Blog

Top Guns: Shelby Tops Tennessee in Handgun Permits

Film/TV/Etc. Blog

Movies and Video Games Meet at the Cossitt Library

News Blog

President Jimmy Carter Discusses His Work with Habitat

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Bianca Phillips

Readers also liked…

  • A Letter to the Memphis City Council

    The council gets an “F” for its performance on the Greensward decision.
    • Mar 10, 2016
  • Pay the Band

    Why we should be supporting proposed national music initiatives in Congress.
    • Aug 10, 2015
  • Detention Deficit

    Exactly seven years ago this week, I wrote a column decrying a proposal by city engineers to turn the Overton Park Greensward into an 18-foot-deep "detention basin" designed to stop flooding in Midtown. The engineers claimed we'd hardly notice the football-field-sized bowl. "Except," I wrote then, "when it rains hard, at which time, users of Overton Park would probably notice a large, 18-foot-deep lake in the Greensward. Or afterward, a large, muddy, trash-filled depression."

    • Mar 10, 2016
ADVERTISEMENT
© 1996-2016

Contemporary Media
460 Tennessee Street, 2nd Floor | Memphis, TN 38103
Visit our other sites: Memphis Magazine | Memphis Parent | Inside Memphis Business
Powered by Foundation