Bianca Knows Best ... And Helps a Cougar
by Bianca Phillips
I think something is horribly wrong with me. I can't keep a man for more than a few months before he moves away. My last two boyfriends have left town after accepting promotions or taking new jobs.
Neither relationship has been serious enough to warrant me packing up and leaving with them. Of course, that's likely because I only had a few months with each of them. If I'd had more time, perhaps one of the relationships could have developed into something more serious.
I'm a bit of a cougar, I must admit. I’m 55 years old, and both of these men have been in their mid-30s. Could age be the issue?
-- Hot Older Mama
Dear Hot Mama,
The only thing wrong with you is your penchant for younger men. Since 30 is the new 20, people in their mid-30s are at the height of their career life. They're getting promotions and relocating to other cities for better-paying positions.
If you want a man who'll stick around, date someone your own age or even a few years older. Most people in their mid-50s are set in their careers. They'll be retiring in a few years and stay in one place for the benefit of their retirement plan.
Besides, a man in his 30s is young enough to be your son. You may fancy yourself in the "hot older mom" role, but since men mature slower than women, you're essentially dating men with the maturity level of a woman in her late 20s. The age/maturity level gap is gap is really a bit too wide here, don't ya think?
If you insist on dating younger men, you might find a keeper with less financially-motivated types, but beware of stoners and slackers. There are plenty of men in their mid-30s who are floundering around, looking for a sugar mama to fund their pot habits. And shouldn't couples really share the recreational expenses?
Either way, you'll likely find someone to settle down with when the time is right. Losing two boyfriends in row for similar reasons is a little strange, but not yet indicative of a pattern. Who knows? The next guy, no matter his age, could be Mr. Right.
Got a problem? Bianca can solve it. Send advice queries to bphillips@memphisflyer.com.
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Bianca this advice is so bad I think you have eaten some really nasty tofu and should go straight to The Med
As a single male in his 30s, I have to weigh in on this. If God made anything better than a well-aged woman, He kept it for Himself. Middle-aged and older women truly are God's gift to young men. They know what they want, they don't play games, they are loyal, and they've been around long enough to get all the silliness out of their systems. In short, they are ideal partners for any man in his 30s looking for a healthy, long-term relationship. I've been dating so-called "cougars" since I was a teenager. In my personal experience it's the girls my own age, along with the men of the Boomer generation, who are usually lacking in the maturity department, which conveniently leaves a lot of wonderful, deep, loving women in their 40s and 50s available for me. Keep your chin up Hot Older Mama, you've just had a run of bad luck. It won't last forever.
...and if there are any hot cougars out there who'd like to fund autoegocrat's pot habit, call him at 901-555-****
Nice try PD, but the reality is the reverse. When you find a woman you can truly connect with, you *want* to pay for everything. Personally I think these Gen X girls are just bent because they can't compete with the "cougars," so they end up with the kind of jerk who would let a woman pay for his dope.
....Correction: Hot cougars searching for a pimp daddy, call autoegocrat at 901-555-****.
...Correction: Hot cougars searching for a pimp daddy to fund their pot habit, call autoegocrat at 901-555-****
autoegocrat, I dedicate this song to you... I'm dropping the needle on "Ronnie McDowell's "Older Women Are Beautiful Lovers."
30 is the new 20? What the eff does that even mean? autoegocrat- My mom's single. Wanna be my new daddy? Ok I just creeped myself out.
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