1. The new pope, Benedict XVI, announces he will put his predecessor, Pope John Paul II, on the "fast track" (il ferrari testarosa) to sainthood. Meanwhile, it's been -- what? -- almost 30 years, and we're still waiting on a decision about Elvis. It hardly seems fair.
2. Charges of official misconduct against Shep Wilbun are postponed until November and will likely be dropped. The former Juvenile Court clerk and two other defendants had been accused of using county funds to bribe a woman who had allegedly been assaulted by one of Wilbun's associates, and -- oh, it's just too complicated. No wonder they're putting it off.
3. After an investigation, police announce there is no proof that the "Sam Cooper Sniper" ever existed. And what about all those motorists who reported their cars had been hit by gunfire in that area? Apparently just the random, aimless shootings that take place all over town every day in Memphis. Hmmm, maybe it's time to "up-armor" (as they say in Iraq) the old Honda Accord.
4. The University of Memphis law school may lose its accreditation because the building is a leaky, cramped dump. Oh, and it's ugly too. Options include renovating the existing structure or moving into the old Custom House downtown at Front and Madison. We favor the latter, mainly because it's such a cool building.