The Olympics has always represented mankind at its very best. The goals set by organizers of this weekend's Downtown Olympics are somewhat less ambitious. They just want people to drink and play cornhole.
"The idea is not to burn down the whole South Main district," says organizer Aaron Krunszyinsky, acknowledging that everybody involved with the event will be drinking and there has been some talk of lighting an olympic flame.
"So it's basically all drinking games," Krunszyinsky says. "Most of them are classic, but there are a couple of new ones too. And teams from all over will be competing in this beer olympics for fun and for bragging rights."
This boozy test of strength, speed, and endurance begins with an opening ceremony, followed by a four-man relay race where teammates chug beers starting at Cafe Pontotoc, then run a baton to the next bar and hand off to a teammate who follows suit. It ends with a tricycle race and talent show.
"There's beer pong. And, of course, there's cornhole, which is just a normal lawn game, but then we add drinking."
According to Krunszyinsky, the games, which double as a fund-raiser for the Urban Bicycle Food Ministry, will be as fairly adjudicated as liquor allows.
"Yes, it's true, if there are hecklers and they accuse the judges of drinking, they would be correct," he says.
Teams must hail from 38103, 38104, and 38105 zip codes. Bring your own tricycle.