Allegedly dedicated by the King himself to the class of 57 (though somehow we doubt it), a new version of the Elvis hit Are You Lonesome Tonight? has been making its rounds on the Internet. The new and certainly superior lyrics go something like this: Is your hairline receding?/Your eyes growing dim?/Hysterectomy for her/And it s prostate for him/Does your back give you pain?/Do your knees predict rain?/Tell me, dear, are you lonesome tonight? It s about time somebody finally penned a hip song that will make all those out-of-touch oldsters put down their Artie Shaw records and listen. Maybe now they ll be a little more tolerant of us kids with our long hair and our rock-and-roll music.


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