In March, Tennessee senator and notorious kitty vivisectionist Dr. Bill Frist met with several evangelical Christian leaders who have been working with G.O.P. lawmakers to ensure that our federal courts are stacked top to bottom with cat-hating conservative judges. The evangelicals have also been exploring ways to punish sitting jurists and even entire courts for being too liberal. Now it would appear that they are also plotting a violent campaign against felines and have called upon the services of a man who knows a thing or two about murdering the cute little critters.
"There's more than one way to skin a cat," Tony Perkins, president of the conservative Family Research Council, told Frist, "and there's more than one way to take a black robe off the bench."
Please note the order of priorities and keep family pets off the street at night. -- Chris Davis
Plante: How It Looks