Talk about taking the bull by the horns. The Jackson Clarion-Ledger reports that 20-year-old Ole Miss student Benjamin Milley was gored by a fighting bull during the Carnaval del Toro festival in Ciudad Rodrigo, Spain. Milley's surgeon was quoted as saying that the injury wasn't the worst he'd ever seen, but the largest he'd ever had to operate on. It took three hours to "repair damage to thighs, sphincter, and back muscles." Ow.
Joe Birch's lede would have sounded perfectly natural coming out of the mouth of Kent Brockman, who anchors the Springfield News on The Simpsons. "It started out as an investigation into a dangerous icy prank at Southaven High School," Birch said in all seriousness. "But it ended with the pranksters tracking down WMC News 5 and taunting us all day on social media." Birch then pitched to reporter Michael Clark, who reported that teenagers had dumped buckets of water in their school parking lot hoping that it might turn to ice resulting in another snow day for Southaven students. Clark also reported that the young aqua-vandals promised him an interview but didn't show up. Instead, the teens rode around town behind the WMC van that was out looking for them, taking phone videos and uploading them to YouTube.
Fly on the Wall hates that we missed this February 9th event because nothing says "healthy lifestyle" like visiting a Subway — in a jail. But the best thing about this promotion is the improbably long hashtag: #ShelbyCountyGovernmentPromoting HealthyLifestyles.