Here's a roundup of our favorite Fly on the Wall briefs of 2015.
It all started with a WMC story about a woman who became outraged because local school bus brake lights reminded her of a satanic pentagram. In an instant, the ridiculous story spread far and wide. Wonkette's take on the report was headlined "It's the Black Magic School Bus," while The Huffington Post slugged their column "Satan's School Bus Makes Mom Mad as Hell." The story even made MSNBC's "This Week in God" segment, where it was described as the week's most "off-the-wall religion story."
A number of news outlets have reported that Jelly Belly Candy Co. plans to close its warehouse and visitor center in Pleasant Prairie, Wisconsin, and relocate that facility to Tennessee. But only WREG-TV seemed to grasp the true hotness of this news story. According to Channel 3, it's a "SWEAT DEAL." It's especially exciting for Memphians with a sweat tooth.
WREG won the first Nielson sweeps period of 2015, possibly because they know a "big ol' snake" when they see one. The headline that went with this picture was "Big Ol' Snake Found by MLGW Tech."
Here's a picture of WMC reporter Felicia Bolton standing on top of a car.
"I'm standing on a car that's not moving right now," Bolton said, in a brave report from the station's Union Avenue WMC parking lot. She was narrating a story about an 8-year-old who fell from the roof of a moving car in Mud Island's Greenbelt Park. Bolton's vehicle remained safely parked near the news van, and at no point was she flung to the asphalt.
According to Cosmopolitan, "WMC Action News 5's morning team is pretty baller." The cascading accolades had less to do with the mostly female news team's reporting skills than its dance moves and ability to attract admiring website comments. Cosmo writer Laura Beck said WMC's "Hit the Quan" clip was so dadgum baller she was almost inspired to move to Memphis.
A strange thing happened when Tennessee's artsy-fartsy set and its tax-hating tea party set wound up, more or less, on the same side of an issue. Both groups were appalled that Tennessee spent $46,000 for a new state logo. Of course, that's really not much money to spend on a good logo. Then again, there's nothing good about this.
The very best thing to result from the logo outrage has to be Senator Brian Kelsey's mirror selfie, which he took in support of a movement to preserve the state's current logo. #Kelfie.
Your Pesky Fly doesn't take sides in electoral politics. Nevertheless, I was compelled to put in a plug for District 64 Representative Sheila Butt, who has a racy new campaign logo. Yes, that is supposed to be a silhouette of the Maury County courthouse set against the background of the Tennessee state flag. It also looks a like the climactic scene in a porn film.
Larry Ron Bowen became world famous in 2015 after the Arkansas truck driver was sentenced to drug treatment for trading a trailer full of lunch meat for an undisclosed amount of crack cocaine. Bowen, who was apprehended eating a lunch meat sandwich in the parking lot of a Memphis service station, described the transaction as "inadvertent."