Fly on the Wall 

Public-Service Announcement

Your Pesky columnist would like to officially endorse long-shot Shelby County sheriff candidate John Harvey for the coveted position of "Muckraker of the Year." Harvey has waged a tireless battle to point out flaws in the Shelby County electoral process, but his most recent -- and most daring -- press release is also his best:

"Since John has been so hard on criminals over his 31 years of law enforcement ... it only seems fair and equitable that he provide information to the 'criminal element' to assist with voting," Harvey writes. He then provides a set of easy-to-follow instructions for Shelby County voters who -- for whatever reason -- have a sincere and committed desire to vote more than once. The message continues:

"1. You will need a voter's name -- one that is on the voter rolls but hasn't voted in many years. (Political operatives will have access to this data, so just pick a party and have a party).

2. Next you need the address where they are registered.

3. You need a piece of paper that looks like a bill to the aforementioned address.

4. If you have a computer and printer, bill yourself (or should I say 'the voter') at the aforementioned address. Then print it.

5. Go to the polls.

6. Tell the poll worker that you don't have any ID. They will probably say, 'well, where do you live?'

7. Give them the address, or better yet, showthem the bill.

8. Sign in and go to the voting machine.

9. Vote ...

Pick out 10 or 15 polls and go vote them. Then in a few days, repeat the process."

At last we've found a politician with information we can use.


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