Fly on the Wall 

Beat It

There's a problem with most advertising these days: It just isn't real enough. On the other hand, it doesn't get much realer than traffic tickets, misdemeanors, juvenile delinquency, and felonies, and those are the very things Memphis lawyer T. Flowers, Esquire, says he can help you with on radio spots like this one:

Sippin on dat Goose/Rollin off da ex.

Police won't let me loose, less I come up with a check.

Violate my personal space, searchin through my clothes

Found my weed, found my rose, now I'm locked up on the floor.

I got them charges, maine.

I got them charges, maine.

I call my lawyer T. Flowers, now I'm out again.

For those not down with the lingo, the above narrator was popped for having an open vodka container, but when the authorities patted him down they found ecstasy, pot, and paraphernalia for smoking crystal meth (a rose pipe). And if putting the beatdown on some pitiful hophead's not real enough for you, check this second radio spot for Flowers' legal services:

I came home from work and I'm lookin for my man

I found him in the bed sleepin wit my best friend

I went and grabbed his Glock, couldn't stop, oh my god

Somebody call T. Flowers, I'm about to catch a charge.

He beat them charges, maine.

He beat them charges, maine.

It's unclear if the charge beaten in this case is murder or assault with a deadly weapon. Either way, the unfortunate woman would have certainly gone to prison without Flowers' able assistance. Given Memphis' recent crime wave, it's good to know there's an attorney who can provide our police officers the kind of legal representation they deserve.

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