Fly on the Wall 

Acronyms

WMC TV-5 has been using a curious phrase as of late. Here's an example from a report that ran May 7th:

"Shelby County Commissioners say S.O.B.s have been out of line for too long. ... They are gathering information so an ordinance can be written to have more oversight over the S.O.B.s."

As nice as it might sound, the County Commission isn't trying to crack down on all the annoying sons-of-you-know-whats who inhabit our fair city. In this particular instance, "S.O.B." stands for "Sexually Oriented Businesses," which is just a fancy way of saying strip joint, shake shack, or boobie bar.

Shelby County commissioner Joyce Avery told Channel 5 that "Memphis is known as the city of sex. I find that very unacceptable." True enough. While "City of Sex," if adopted as the city's official slogan, might actually boost tourism, we would probably be better off with a catchy acronym such as A.S.S.H.O.L.E.: "A Super Sexy Hamlet Offering Love Economically."

Gangsta Power

You've got to love News Channel 3 reporter Mike Matthews when he rattles off a hard-boiled monologue that sounds like it was written for a James Ellroy character.

"When it comes to Memphis politics, voters don't seem to have much desire to go to the polls anymore," Matthews grumbled in a recent report. "In fact, they ought to name one of those streetcars that rumble down Main Street in front of City Hall ... 'A Streetcar Named Apathy.'" Matthews was covering a speech delivered by mayoral candidate and former MLGW chief Herman Morris, who accused Mayor Herenton of destroying MLGW and making it "a nest for cronyism and his group of gangster managers."

By press time, Fly on the Wall had received no comment from MLGW management as to whether or not they were involved with organized crime. Unless, of course, you count the horse head that mysteriously appeared in the Fly-Team's cubicle.

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