Fly on the Wall 

Violent Femmes

Beware: The lesbians are coming to get your young daughters. The dirty purse-snatchers work in gangs and revel in holding small children down while putting things in places things shouldn't be put. And — horror of horrors — the phenomenon of lesbian gang bangers is spreading like wildfire across the prairie. Well, at least according to Memphis' Fox affiliate WPTY and popular conservative talk-show host and columnist Bill O'Reilly. The Eyewitness News Everywhere report spoke of lesbian terror cells called GTOs or "Gays Taking Over." Beverly Cobb of the Shelby County Gang Unit told news crews that the dastardly dykes aren't afraid to use the weapons they carry and "will sodomize [little girls with sex toys] and will force [them] to do all sexual acts."

"They are forcing themselves on our young girls in all our schools," Cobb was quoted as saying. "They will use [weapons] quicker than any male that I've ever come upon."

Of course, there's no data whatsoever proving that lesbian gangs are spreading across the country threatening little girls with switchblades or dildos. Just last week, even O'Reilly, a man not known for saying he's sorry, admitted that the report was "overstated." Kinda like his credibility.

... And then the Fireworks

From the AP: "Police in Memphis have charged a 32-year-old man with murder in a shooting that erupted over fireworks." According to investigators, the bloodbath that left one person dead and five others wounded started when "a youngster threw a firecracker at another child on the Fourth of July." This kind of news makes the older generation long for the good old days when tragedies like these were motivated by drugs and modest sums of money.

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