Imagine if you will, a dark October evening in Memphis. It's still relatively warm, but the breeze is tipped with just the faintest hint of winter's chill, and the first dead leaves of the season dart through the streets like rats. It's a perfect night for crispy tater tots and juicy, triple-decker burgers, all eaten from the comfort of your car. It's a night for Sonic, the ubiquitous retro drive-in that, like all fast-food joints these days, distribute small plastic toys with their kid's meals. As Halloween is just around the corner, Sonic's toys are Halloween-themed flashlights called Spooky Sticks. Some are shaped like wishbones. Some are shaped like finger bones. And some — like the one pictured here — are shaped like dirty bones. Shocking, yes. But true.
The directions read, "Twist to turn on," and go on to suggest "you [should] provide guidance to your children regarding proper use." In order to avoid chipped teeth and painful, or at the very least, embarrassing extractions, that's probably sound advice.
The crime on Kansas Street has gotten so bad, according to local TV news, that, to ensure safety, residents have taken to barring their doors and padlocking them, a practice the fire marshal frowns upon. To further deter crime, residents of Kansas Street may wish to consider actually setting their homes on fire.