Fly on the Wall 

Wild Cards

According to My Eyewitness News, six men, one woman, and one teenage boy were arrested recently when they were caught gambling with marijuana and crack cocaine instead of money. Obviously somebody heard the term "high roller" and misunderstood the concept.

XXX-Files

File this one under "Unfortunate Legislative Images You'll Never Be Able To Unsee": East Tennessee lawmaker Stacey Campfield having hypothetical sex with Memphis representative Jeanne Richardson.

"We need to be honest here. We're not walking out on a street and picking men willy-nilly to be someone's father," Richardson said, explaining her opposition to the Campfield bill intended to make it easier for men to cease child support payments if DNA evidence proves they aren't the father.

"If I had sex with you, I wouldn't want to pay for your children," Campfield interjected, over-personalizing the discussion and taking Richardson aback. "If I were not the father, I don't think that would be appropriate."

Campfield later blogged about the exchange in the suggestively titled post "Oh come on!" wherein he declares, "I DID NOT HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH THAT RICHARDSON WOMAN."

"Jeannie and I get along pretty good," he wrote. "Not that good."

Stem Sell

Dr. Richard Land of the Southern Baptist Convention in Nashville told The Commercial Appeal that President Barack Obama's decision to lift the ban on stem-cell research was tantamount to declaring "open season on unborn babies." The CA failed to note Land's personal scientific hypothesis that Obama is "God's punishment" against America. Land made the accusation in an interview on American Family Radio, effectively declaring open season on Antichrists in the Oval Office.

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