Fly on the Wall
by Chris Davis
Banking 101
According to various reports, an armed, young male wearing dark clothing robbed the Trust One Bank on White Station by cutting a hole through the roof and lowering himself into the building before employees arrived. It's not known at this time whether or not the thief was working in conjunction with a gang or if he was a finance major preparing for a standards and practices exam.
Fashion Police
State representative Joe Towns Jr. has teamed with state senator Ophelia Ford to introduce a piece of landmark legislation that will criminalize a most unfortunate, but nevertheless enduring, fashion trend: droopy drawers. That's right. Instead of combating crime, poverty, and corruption, these two Mid-South lawmakers are focusing their attention on an issue that has fallen between the cracks for too long. Although the trend began in the street as a display of solidarity for prison inmates who weren't allowed belts, plumbers and electricians will also find themselves on the wrong side of the law should this bill pass.
Viva Memphis
Justin Timberlake isn't satisfied with his career as a singer, actor, clothier, golf-course designer, and sexual icon. Now he's launching 901, a new tequila named in honor of his West Tennessee area code that, according to the Memphis Business Journal, costs $40 for a 750-ml bottle. It's unfortunate that the Memphis-bred superstar couldn't be convinced to release a cheaper, stronger version called 201.
Boo
From the Florida coast to the Kansas plains, newspapers and TV stations
are spreading the word that terrifying e-mails about gang members planning to kill women at Wal-Mart stores is just a newly updated version of an old Internet hoax. Most reports point out that the original prank e-mail can be traced to Memphis. One more thing we can all be proud of!
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