Fly on the Wall 

Vagina Monologue Your Pesky Fly tries to keep his compound eye on the local tri-state area, but occasionally things happen in other parts of the state that simply won't be ignored. Take, for example, Dennis Norwood, a reporter for the website Chattanoogan.com, who generated some headlines of his own after emailing a questionably tasteful joke to Hamilton County Commissioner Tim Boyd.

The joke titled, "Splinters In Her Crotch," is about a "tree hugger, a Democrat, and an anti-hunter" who shinnies up a tree and, as the joke's title suggests, gets a whole bunch of splinters in her crotch. The doctor in the joke wants to help the poor woman but "had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management." In the end, "due to ObamaCare," the injured woman is denied help and — hilariously, if you're a creep — has to live out the rest of her days with painful wooden shards stuck in her girl parts.

"None of these were sent in any regards to my capacity as a journalist, but were well within my 2nd Amendment [sic] rights," Norwood has since responded.

On a related note, Memphis is being bombarded with multiple productions of Eve Ensler's Vagina Monologues this month. Maybe Mr. Norwood can be persuaded to talk about his gun.

LA-LA Land Here's a riddle for you: When is graffiti a desirable neighborhood feature and not absolute proof of dangerous gang activity? When it's scrawled across anything Elvis used to own, duh. At least that's the takeaway from a recent post at PRwire.com, announcing a real estate listing for Elvis Presley's Beverly Hills estate. Presley's French Regency house is described as having floor-to-ceiling windows, a formal living room with a fireplace, and an entry gate that "boasts fans' touching handwritten Elvis tributes."

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