Return to Vegas
Be on the lookout for an African gray parrot with a bright red tail that answers to the name "Memphis." Stevie Las Vegas, a British Elvis impersonator, was visiting his holiday home in Silloth recently when the bird flew off. Mr. Las Vegas — if that is his real name — is offering a £1,000 reward for Memphis' safe return.
The Union Avenue Schnucks store has been converted into a Kroger, and products have been shuffled around to reflect the new owner's sensibility. For example, the feminine hygiene products have been logically shelved near the Big K discount sodas and Pepsi products, which may confuse shoppers accustomed to finding them crammed in next to the olive oil.
Wikipedia is a useful online resource, but sometimes pranksters can't resist messing with its user-generated content. The following quote is excerpted from the altered (and now corrected) Wikipedia entry for University of Memphis athletic director R.C. Johnson: "He is ... known as the least capable Athletic Director in the NCAA. New hair spray is said to have clouded his vision. ... Mr. Johnson has earned a number of awards during his tenure at the University of Memphis including most naps in a single day, most impressive hair (senior's division), best use of hotdog stands to conduct human resource meetings."