Fly on The Wall
by Chris Davis
Best Correction
Last week's special "Best of Memphis" Fly on the Wall produced a very special error. While teasing the Orpheum for giving smooth sax player Kenny G a star on its walk of fame, your Pesky Fly suggested that a similar honor might also be in order for Yanni, master of the pan flute. Yanni, however, is the mullet and mustache-wearing Greek-born keyboardist who got his start playing in a band with former Entertainment Tonight host John Tesh. Zamfir is the clean-shaven master of the pan flute. These two mononymic musicians are only related through their mutual use of late-night television commercials to promote records. But for the opportunity to write this correction, we regret the error.
Dog Gone
It's a sad day for people who like their TV news delivered straight up with no chaser. After 14 years, Mike "The Watchdog" Matthews, WREG's cigar-chomping, Jameson-sipping, hard-boiled reporter, has been relieved of duty. The inimitable Dog told Twitter followers that WREG "felt it was in their best interest [not to] renew my contract." Fly on the Wall had some fun with Matthews for his overly vivid description of a nightmare about getting a proctological exam from former Mayor Willie Herenton ("Not the finger!"), but he has always been a favorite. As one online admirer observed in a conciliatory tweet, "You've made Memphis better by being the most interesting thing on local TV since [Jerry] Lawler turned orange." Word. Begging
According to police reports, an intoxicated man arrested for aggressive panhandling claimed to be on a mission from God. Officers called to 2675 American Way discovered Antoine Clark lying on the ground in front of a car and refusing to budge until the vehicle's owner gave him money. When questioned, Clark told officers that God had spoken to him, saying "Lay waste to all of the sinners of Memphis," a command he clearly misinterpreted as "lay in the way of all sinners."
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