Profiles in Ick
This week, while picking up groceries at the Viet Hoa, an international market on Cleveland, your Pesky Fly stumbled across a shelf filled with Moco de Gorila shampoo and hair gel.
For the English-only crowd, Moco de Gorila means "gorilla snot." Just the stuff for slicking back an unruly mop. And it gets better. The Mexico-based company ran afoul of California clean-air regulations because Gorilla Snot contains smog-producing ingredients. According to various reports, the makers of Gorilla Snot have been cooperative in resolving the matter.
Hooray! Elvis isn't dead! Again! Don't believe me? Check out this exclamation-laden introduction to an online petition from the Fly on the Wall mailroom.
"Elvis Presley is still alive today, ... he is trying and wants to make his comeback!! Elvis needs our help now! Elvis needs help of all his fans! A few months ago, I started a petition for Elvis Presley!! I promote my petition every day on Facebook and Twitter. I have more than 700 signers now! But I want 10,000 signers on my petition or more! So I would like to have media attention! Can you please help me? ... It would be nice for Elvis Presley when so many fans stand behind him!! This is absolutely no joke! I speak the truth! This is the truth! Please believe me and help Elvis Presley! And help me with my petition!!!"
Why petition? In order to re-emerge from the shadows of the afterlife, Elvis needs government protection. Duh!