Fly on the Wall 

Farting, Elvis, and Fake Butts

Headline News

This week's coveted best headline award goes to The Commercial Appeal for "Burping, flatulence are facts of life that can be managed." The CA's wind-breaking feature described farting as a great equalizer that affects us all regardless of "wealth, age, or gender." The helpful article noted that gas is sometimes burped and/or belched and often "released through the anus," aka "flatulence through the rectum."  

The author goes on to explain that cheese, which most people cut between 13 and 21 times a day, can be brought on by carbonated beverages, drinking through straws, talking while eating, chewing gum, sucking on candy, or even "loose-fitting dentures." We smell Pulitzer!

Neverending Elvis

Your Pesky Fly has run across a lot of weird Elvis stories in his time, but this is a first. According to London's Daily Mail, Jo Collins of Reading, Berkshire breaks out in a cold sweat and has to "run away and hide" whenever she hears Elvis songs due to what the tabloid variously describes as an "allergy" and a "phobia." Too bad for Collins, she works in a bar, and Elvis-loving patrons love to play the jukebox.

Bottomed Out

Natasha Stewart, better known by her adult entertainer name Pebbelz da Model, has finally been sentenced for her role in the death of Karima Gordon. Presuming an appropriately sized prison uniform can be obtained, Pebbelz, known on the club circuit for possessing a bottom so large it belongs in the NC-17-rated sequel to Pacific Rim, will serve seven years in prison. Gordon, impressed by Pebbelz's famous assets and wanting to build on her own back 40, paid da Model $200 to introduce her to the man who lethally injected her trunk with "concrete-like" junk. According to reports, Stewart was "blinded by this substance called silicone" and  expressed remorse. "I'm so deeply sorry," she was quoted as saying. "All I ever wanted to do was help."

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT

Blogs

News Blog

Pence Cancels Memphis Visit

Fly On The Wall Blog

MAF Has a New Meaning: Memphis Ass Farm

News Blog

Alexander to TVA: Don't Buy Wind Power

Intermission Impossible

Hattiloo Announces Season 12: August Wilson, Lynn Nottage, Soul Train...

News Blog

Memphis Theological Seminary Stands with Refugees

News Blog

Fight Over Forrest Statue Isn't Over

ADVERTISEMENT

Readers also liked…

ADVERTISEMENT
© 1996-2017

Contemporary Media
460 Tennessee Street, 2nd Floor | Memphis, TN 38103
Visit our other sites: Memphis Magazine | Memphis Parent | Inside Memphis Business
Powered by Foundation