FORD FILES
by Chris Davis
After careful and considered study, the Fly Team has determined that current investigations into the mysterious circumstances surrounding the District 29 state Senate election between apparent victor Ophelia Ford and apparent loser Terry Roland are deeply flawed and very likely counterproductive. The current process hinges on an unfair assumption: When the dead appear to vote, fraud is apparent. This precludes the simpler, and therefore more likely explanation, that, in some circumstances, the dead might take an interest in the electoral process.
Last week, a local art enthusiast whose collection includes work by late folk artist Joe Light — one of the “dead voters” — contacted Fly on the Wall. Our contact claimed the name “Ford” appeared in one of Light’s paintings just as the Virgin Mary might appear on a toasted muffin. Our investigation of the phenomenon yielded no conclusive result, but several eyewitnesses swear they saw the name Ford appear in the following painting, as well as in color reproductions and photocopies.
Submitted as evidence on 2/1/06:
(Ability to see the miracle may depend on political affiliation and party loyalty.)
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
THIS WEEK'S ISSUE
SPECIAL ISSUES
