Guilty of Selflessness? 

Dr. Toboggans to the rescue.

Earlier this week, the most recent installment of web series Mind Over Memphis featured Church Health Center Wellness, "where they break the natural cycle of illness, hospitalization, and medical bills with this prevention thing. It's terrible."

That's according to the series' star, "Dr. Harold Toboggans." The so-called "psychologist" and "certified water boarding specialist" sets out "to cure Memphis of the artists, volunteers, and chronic compassionates that infect the city with their irrational drive to be the change they want to see."

"Memphis is filled, fairly bursting, with artists, philanthropists, and such things," Toboggans says. "They're not bad people; they're just sick."

Mind Over Memphis, started last year by Brent Diggs and with a handful of YouTube videos, works to alleviate that sickness, following Toboggans as he intervenes in well-meaning citizens' plans. So far the video series has covered Nightshade Manor, which accepted canned food for admission, and the Visible School, which produces musicians — a thing Toboggans sees as a sick contradiction to the economy. Currently, Mind Over Memphis is in the midst of a three-part exposé of Church Health Center Wellness.

According to Toboggans, the center is a special case deserving of extra attention: "Life has a certain order. You get sick, you see a doctor, you pay that doctor lots of money. These people are subverting the economy."

Of course, not everyone agrees.

Marvin Stockwell of the Church Health Center gave his take: "Dr. Toboggans means well, but frankly, we think he has a lot to learn about health care, which in his view is strictly focused on treating disease. That's important, of course, but we think it's just as important to give people the tools and resources to stay healthy."

No victim of volunteerism is undeserving of Toboggans' attention, though he plans to begin with curing "things that start right here in Memphis" because "I can stamp them out before they spread."

Mind Over Memphis is searching for organizations that fit the bill, and Toboggans has made it clear that he'll stop at nothing to cure them.

Do-gooders of Memphis, it's time to turn yourselves in.

The third segment of the Church Health Center Wellness exposé comes out March 15th at mindovermemphis.com.

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