IN THE JAILHOUSE NOW 

IN THE JAILHOUSE NOW

A recent report shows that (surprise, surprise!) jail security at 201 Poplar is a joke, and a recent article in The Commercial Appeal suggested that it's no small miracle prisoners don't just let themselves out. Still, some of the report's findings are clear misrepresentations of the truth. Here are some of the most obvious examples:

1. Cell doors can pop open with combs or plastic utensils. This is obviously a benefit to employees since, according to the report, jailers' key rings are often missing.

2. Kitchen knives are often missing. It does not say whether or not anyone checked the garbage disposal.

3. Yeast from the kitchen, used to make "jailhouse hooch," is unaccounted for, but as far as we can tell, all olives, tonic water, and lime wedges have been accounted for.

4. Bleach and ammonia, which the report says are used to taint food or throw in someone's face, have been left unattended, which is utter hogwash. Everybody knows that you use bleach and ammonia to make mustard gas. Duh!

5. An unattended hacksaw was discovered in a stairwell. It does not point out that the hacksaw was of age and required no chaperone.

6. The report stresses that some inmates have access to areas with cell-door controls and weapons. It fails to acknowledge that somebody has to run the jail.

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT

Blogs

Hungry Memphis

Raw Girls Launches Food Truck

News Blog

Candidates Sought For Council Vacancy

Calling the Bluff

Don Trip is a "Man on the Moon"

News Blog

Riverside Drive Bike Lane Named In Top 10 List

News Blog

Memphis' Logan Guleff Wins MasterChef Junior

Calling the Bluff

Starlito Connects with Don Trip, Yo Gotti for New Track

News Blog

Pension Reform Gets Council Approval

Beyond the Arc

Next Day Notes: Grizzlies 105, Warriors 98

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Chris Davis

ADVERTISEMENT
© 1996-2014

Contemporary Media
460 Tennessee Street, 2nd Floor | Memphis, TN 38103
Visit our other sites: Memphis Magazine | Memphis Parent | Memphis Business Quarterly
Powered by Foundation