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Peterson Toscano hasn't always been comfortable with his homosexuality. It took years of therapy, three exorcisms, and a stint at Memphis-based "straight camp" Love in Action before Toscano was able to come out and accept himself as a gay man.
He calls himself an ex-gay survivor, someone who has been through, and rejected, reparative therapy to help him become straight.
So when Toscano heard that "Love Won Out," a Focus on the Family-sponsored ex-gay therapy conference, was being held in Memphis on Saturday, February 23rd, he made phone calls from his home in Connecticut to friends in Memphis. The result: "Deconstructing the Ex-Gay Myth: A Weekend of Action and Art," three days of demonstrations, an art show, movie screenings, and stage shows in protest of the conference.
According to its website, "Love Won Out" equips parents and friends of gays with the ability to "minister in truth and compassion to a loved one who deals with same-sex attractions, respond to mis-information in our culture, and defend biblical beliefs with grace and understanding." The conference hosts multiple events annually across the country.
Toscano says several members of the on-line ex-gay survivor resource group Beyond Ex-Gay, which he founded last year, have sat in on previous "Love Won Out" sessions.
"They basically tell parents of lesbian and gay kids that it's bad to be gay, and they give testimonies about how awful people's lives were while they were gay. They say they can change and save you," Toscano says.
Members of Beyond Ex-Gay, who come from all over the country, and local gay activists will be on hand in front of Central Church in Collierville when the "Love Won Out" conference begins on Saturday morning.
"We're not exactly protesting. We're simply saying there's another side of the story, and we'd like people to listen to that side as well," Toscano says.
The action begins on Friday night with "The Ex-Gay Survivor Art Show" at the Memphis Gay & Lesbian Community Center (MGLCC). The show features 25 works ranging from paintings to mixed media to sculpture created by ex-gay survivors. Artwork will remain up through Sunday afternoon.
Also on Friday night, Toscano will perform his one-man play, Doin' Time in the Homo No Mo' Halfway House, at First Congregational Church at 8 p.m. Toscano wrote the play as a response to his stint at Love in Action, the local ex-gay center that received national media attention in 2005 when friends of 16-year-old Zack Stark protested his inclusion in a now-defunct youth summer program.
"I spent two years at Love in Action, and the play is a tour of an ex-gay residential program that I call the Homo No Mo' Halfway House," Toscano explains. "I play a bunch of different people in the house, including my own dad. Parents are often negatively affected by the teachings in ex-gay programs."
Toscano premiered the play in Memphis five years ago and has since toured it in 33 states and several countries.
- Art by Jason T. Ingram at the MGLCC
On Saturday from 2 to 5 p.m., Beyond Ex-Gay will host its Mid-South Regional Gathering, a series of workshops and panels for ex-gay survivors, at the gay and lesbian center.
"There's a lot of psychological, emotional, and spiritual damage [in ex-gay survivors], and there's a need to unpack what we've done to ourselves and let other people do to us," Toscano says. "This regional gathering will give ex-gay survivors a chance to check in and talk to each other."
Also on Saturday, local filmmaker Morgan Jon Fox will offer a preview of his long-awaited documentary This Is What Love in Action Looks Like at 8 p.m. at First Congregational Church.
Jon Fox chronicled the 2005 protests of Love in Action's "Refuge" program, which offered reparative therapy for gay teens. The protests led to state investigations of the center's license to treat mentally ill people. Last summer, Love in Action closed Refuge in favor of a more intensive program for parents of gay teens.
"It all started with a few kids sticking up for their friend. It was just something to do for the summer," Jon Fox says. "They ended up impacting the situation on an international level."
The weekend will close with a reception Sunday from 2 to 6 p.m. at 892 S. Cooper to celebrate the gay and lesbian center's fifth anniversary. It will be followed by the Memphis premiere of Toscano's new play, Transfigurations: Transgressing Gender in the Bible, at Holy Trinity United Church of Christ.
"It's a play about transgender bible characters," Toscano says. "For example, Deborah in the Book of Judges. She doesn't fit into a gender role. She's a prophet, a judge, and a warrior. That's not a typical role for a Jewish mother."
A former evangelical, Toscano studied the Bible at a Christian college.
"Our goal for the weekend is to deconstruct the myth and let people know that most people who try to go ex-gay are not successful," Toscano says. "Those people speaking at 'Love Won Out,' who say they are happy, healthy, and successful as ex-gay, are the very rare exceptions."
For more information on the above events, see this week's Flyer Calendar or go to www.beyondexgay.com.
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As a survivor of one of the exgay programs promoted by Love Won Out I'm excited to be flying in from Denver to tell my story of being harmed attempting to change and repress my sexuality.
"Love Won Out" takes a medieval approach to a biological phenomenon. Kind of like performing an exorcism on an epiletic. They are the ones who are sick. Let's get with the 21st century: http://discovermagazine.com/2007/jun/born-gay/article_view?b_start:int=0&-C=
I have never been through an official "exgay" program, but was told by enough "religious" people to change that I did indeed deny my innate being for many years...finally,I can express who I am in a loving relationship and know that God still loves me and accepts me as He made me. Understanding the scriptures in context has been tremendously helpful and I am grateful to my new pastoral friends for their expert advice and interpretations.
finallyme - If you really want to know yourself, you might want to start with this: http://www.rickygervais.com/bestlife.php
The ex-gay ministry entitled "Love in Action" should actually be called "Hate in Action" I am a 41 year old male who is married to a wonderful man. It did take a lot of re-wiring of a lot of old religious beliefs and baggage to get where I am today, but it was worth the journey. We are a very spiritual couple and we discuss often how the religious right have mis-taught so much of the Bible. I think by now the GLBT community has come to understand that they (the religious right) cherry pick certain aspects of the Bible and twist around it's interpretations to fit an explosive Sunday morning sermon. They try to present their views as Christ's teachings, when in actuality they forget the very basic simple teachings that Christ had when he was here on earth. Prime example...One story tells us that a woman committed adultery and was brought before Jesus. Here is what it says in John 8:3-11, the men were ready to stone the adulterous woman but Jesus interceded and said, "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her." The men had guilty consciences and departed. Jesus told the woman to go and sin no more. The lesson here was quite simple and it was a lesson taught in love and forgiveness. The reason I brought this story into view is because this was a specific act the woman committed which was sinful. Being gay or lesbian is not a sin and it is not something you can ask for forgiveness for. We gay and lesbian people also have a choice to sin. Whether that is cheating in a monogamous relationship (which is the same as being married if you made a commitment to one another) all legalities aside, as your word is your bond. If we were back in the Bible day, we would be held accountable for the same sin if we didn't make it right. The "Love in Action" group does its best to portray you being gay as the actual sin; as if being straight could be a possible sin. The very essence of your being is "who" you are not “what” you do. The adulteress woman as described in the above we can assume was married or whomever she had the affair with was married, which is why the town’s people were ready to stone her in accordance with their law at that time. The lesson to be learned from this specific incident was there is no man alive who is without sin. Romans 3:20-24 20 Therefore no one will be declared righteous in his sight by observing the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin. 21 But now righteousness from God, apart from the law, has been made known, to which the law and the prophets testify. 22 This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, 23 For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24 and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus Did you catch that verse 22? There is no difference. A lot of the church’s teaching divides us into groups of believers and non-believers. If we all subscribe to their certain belief of interpretations, we will all eat the bread of life. If you don’t accept their words and opinions we will be damned eternally. Now here’s a thought, if they (the right-wing religious fanatics) wanted to include all of God’s children and remove the stigma of being gay itself in which they have placed on the GLBT community they could do that and eradicate their judgments on us. They could share that same bread of life to all that hunger. They could include (if they chose to) the GLBT people to share in communion the body of Christ. They would teach the same lesson to all of us that we have all sinned and have fallen short from the glory of God. Straight and Gay have nothing to do with “falling short” it is the indulgence of sin that we partake in by not withstanding the temptations that induce us to the actual sin. That is the way I have always viewed the “falling short” part of that verse. If you subscribe to this certain belief all we have to do is believe that Christ died for our sins accept this on faith in order for our sins to be forgiven. To me, (the way I have always interpreted it) if we do the acts of sins ex...Breaking any of the Ten Commandments, Christ has seen to it that all we have to do is ask for forgiveness from the one who made it possible to be freed from these sins. By having faith that our sin(s) have been cleansed away allows us the freedom not to hold onto the guilt from that specific sin. As we make a conscious effort not to repeat that sin again. If the majority of the churches today actually taught the teachings of God's love and inclusiveness amongst all of his children there would be no need to separate the GLBT community from the most popular beliefs that only if you are straight can you inherit the kingdom of God. These teachings have hurt the GLBT community in a very damaging way. Some narrow-minded church congregants today only allow a small portion of their minds and hearts to be openened and even then only allow these pre programmed ideas and theories that are taught by some ministers today as God's truth; when they are actually their truths. If you recall any of the teachings of Christ not once did he ever turn away anyone in his presence because of who they were. They had gay and lesbian men and women in that day as well as today. We can live our lives day to day and be in the world and not of the world. Christ turned away no one because of their sexuality, but he did teach us that in order to be a follower of Christ we have to strive to be pure in mind and body. These vital lessons are not taught in the churches today as they should be and they have demonized our GLBT community with a plague of hate and ridicule for many years. But wait there is hope to anyone seeking to have a relationship with Christ. Remember what Matthew 6:33 states,” But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”... Believe me I am totally not a minister. I am just another gay man who has a deep and meaningful relationship with Christ and have chosen to think for myself to know with faith and assurance, Christ made me to be exactly who I am. I would encourage anyone else who has this same desire of spiritual fellowship to make your own journey back into the loving arms of Jesus. After all it was he and he alone which made it possible for you to be who you are today!
Christ didn't make you. Your parents made you. No need to envelope yourself in religious delusion to confront your sexuality. It is religious delusionalism which causes so much angst. Once you realize it is all fabrication, you can appreciate what nature has to offer.
Sonic1blue...I agree with you. The comments that I made were simply stated from my own Christian point of view. I was lending assistance to the people above who felt that they wanted to have a relationship with God and felt they needed to attend an ex-gay ministry to understand that who they are wasn't acceptable. If they are attending any type of ex-gay therapy, I assume it would be based on some type of conflict with their spirituality, nothing more and nothing less. I just let them know that they can have a spiritual life (if they so desire) that is equally pleasing to God as opposed to what the ex-gay ministries would have them believe. You don't need to have a spiritual belief on any level in order to be who you are. If you don't subscribe to any type of belief system, that doesn't change anything.
gb66 - I understand better now, thanks. But in my humble opinion, rather than relate to people on the basis that some supernatural being watches over them, because that is where their head is at, it is better to just toss out the premise. All it does is complicate the issues which are based on reality. The whole God-thing leads not only to homosexual prejudices but so many more. In essence, any issue which doesn't match the dogma, is discriminated against. Rather than attack each issue, one by one, if we toss out the God-thing, we've wiped the slate clean for honest dialogue.
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