Letter from the Editor 

It's been a difficult week around here. Due to a glitch in the classifieds department, Rob Brezsny's Free Will Astrology and The New York Times crossword puzzle were left out of last week's Flyer. I received many e-mails about this horrific screwup. Angry voicemails were left on my phone.

The lesson: Do not mess with people's star signs, and do not leave puzzle addicts without their fix.

As a public service, let me fill in some of what you missed.

Aries: If you had reduced "the hostility, combativeness, and judgmental ire that you personally generate, you would have been far more likely to navigate your way toward prosperity" last week. In other words, calm the hell down, Sparky.

Taurus: There was "a rare opposition between Saturn and Uranus." This could involve rings around Uranus. I dunno.

Gemini: Last week, you were supposed to "create a royal crown for yourself out of a shower cap, rubber bands, and light bulbs." It's not too late. Just do it, and send me a picture.

Cancer: You were supposed to "fantasize about all the paths you will never take and put it in writing." This is called a blog. Don't send me the URL to yours.

Leo: You have the same sign as Barack Obama. Big deal.

Virgo: The planet Uranus came into play for you last week. I repeat: Uranus is in play.

Libra: Last week, Rob suggested that you "run along the tops of cars during a traffic jam, escaping from bad guys as you make your way to a helicopter that takes you to a spot hovering over an erupting volcano, into which you drop the Buns of Steel video." If you try this, please call me first. I want to watch.

Scorpio: Last week, you came to a fork in the road. I sure hope you made the right decision, 'cause, like, now it's too late.

Sagittarius: "Every act of genius, Carl Jung said, is an act contra naturam: against nature." So, unless you performed some unnatural acts last week, basically, you screwed up.

Capricorn: "Uranus ... disturbs our sleep in order to wake us up and energizes us to reinvent ourselves on the fly." Hey, if it's got "Uranus" in it, it's comedy gold.

Aquarius: "Be nothing more and nothing less than who you actually are." Which is boring.

Pisces: "Uranus symbolizes your instinct for freedom." 'Nuff said. I'm starting to feel like Tim Sampson.

Now, a little something for you puzzleheads: 15 Down, a six-letter word for "distant planet." The stars are aligned, my friends. Bruce VanWyngarden

brucev@memphisflyer.com

Comments (2)

Showing 1-2 of 2

Add a comment

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-2 of 2

Add a comment

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
    • Blind Trust

    • Why The Fuss?

Blogs

Tiger Blue

Ole Miss 85, Tigers 77

Fly On The Wall Blog

Tony Allen's Big D Beats Stiff Competition

Intermission Impossible

Naughty & Nice: What's on Stage this Christmas?

News Blog

Etsy Declares Memphis an "Official Maker City"

Politics Beat Blog

Rep. Ellison, Frontrunner in DNC Race, to be Honored Here

Politics Beat Blog

Cohen Introduces Amendment to Scrap Electoral College

Hungry Memphis

Long Road Cider Opening this Weekend

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Bruce VanWyngarden

Readers also liked…

  • Have Yourselves an Angry Little Christmas

    In the 14 years I've been the Flyer editor, I've gotten lots of hate mail. It mostly used to come in envelopes filled with pages of scrawled handwriting. I read them and put them in the wastebasket, chalking it up as a natural by-product of writing for a liberal paper in the conservative South. Lately, the angry folks have switched to email, and it comes in waves ...

    • Dec 10, 2015
  • Detention Deficit

    Exactly seven years ago this week, I wrote a column decrying a proposal by city engineers to turn the Overton Park Greensward into an 18-foot-deep "detention basin" designed to stop flooding in Midtown. The engineers claimed we'd hardly notice the football-field-sized bowl. "Except," I wrote then, "when it rains hard, at which time, users of Overton Park would probably notice a large, 18-foot-deep lake in the Greensward. Or afterward, a large, muddy, trash-filled depression."

    • Mar 10, 2016
  • Vendor in the Grass

    The lady doth protest too much, methinks. — William Shakespeare

    Is there such a thing as "bad activism"? I'm asking because I'm seeing a lot of criticism of the folks who are protesting the Memphis Zoo's encroachment onto the Greensward at Overton Park.

    • Mar 31, 2016
ADVERTISEMENT
© 1996-2016

Contemporary Media
460 Tennessee Street, 2nd Floor | Memphis, TN 38103
Visit our other sites: Memphis Magazine | Memphis Parent | Inside Memphis Business
Powered by Foundation