PLANET OF THE APES 

PLANET OF THE APES

Normally, this column is devoted to local news, but occasionally a national story breaks that is so big we have no choice but to cover it. On Monday, October 13th, a story appeared on Salon.com with the headline, Monkeys can move robotic arm with their thoughts. In case you somehow missed the point of this already pointed headline, allow me to rephrase it for you. Thanks to special brain implants developed by scientists at Duke University, a select group of monkeys (who may or may not be super-intelligent) now have the awesome power to control robots using nothing but their wicked simian brains. Now let s not kid ourselves, people. We all knew the time would come when monkeys could control robots with their minds. That s a given. But who could have guessed it would happen so soon, before the U.S. citizenry (already frightened by the looming specter of terrorism) were prepared to deal with evil, robot-controlling monkeys bent on total world domination? Where are our ray-guns, I ask? Where are our sky-cars? Where are our six-course meals in pill form? The end of civilization is near. Monkeys can control robots with their brains. MONKEYS CAN CONTROL ROBOTS WITH THEIR BRAINS!!!

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
    • Tale of Two Plans

      Art Park developer excluded from new plan for Downtown promenade.
    • Q&A with Scott Schoefernacker

      Program manager at University of Memphis Center for Applied Earth Science and Engineering Research

Blogs

Tiger Blue

Tigers 77, Bowling Green 3

Film/TV/Etc. Blog

Eight Days A Week

News Blog

Film Row Gets MEMFixed Saturday

Fly On The Wall Blog

Mural Project Brings Hope to Affluent Neighborhood

Hungry Memphis

Huey's Downtown to Mark 20 Years, etc.

News Blog

City's Zoo Parking Plan Gets A 'Nope, Nope, Nope'

News Blog

Prosecution Dropped Against Lipscomb

Hungry Memphis

A Look at Catherine & Mary's Menu

ADVERTISEMENT

Readers also liked…

  • Gardening Group Kicked Off Vacant Land in Midtown

    Property owner issues eviction notice to Washington Bottoms Community Garden crew.
    • Mar 25, 2016
  • Thanks, Obama!

    Tennessee tackles health-care reform for the working poor. Finally.
    • Feb 5, 2015
  • Making Joyful Noises

    After a struggling start, The Visible School is celebrating 15 musical years — and expanding to other cities.
    • Aug 20, 2015
ADVERTISEMENT
© 1996-2016

Contemporary Media
460 Tennessee Street, 2nd Floor | Memphis, TN 38103
Visit our other sites: Memphis Magazine | Memphis Parent | Inside Memphis Business
Powered by Foundation