It should have been one of the most embarrassing moments of my entire life. I was in Blockbuster with my 15-year-old sister when we saw two magazine covers sitting side by side: Christina Aguilera
on Rolling Stone
and Britney Spears
on Teen People
(or maybe it was the other way around).
My sister suddenly oohed and aahed over Christina and I looked at her in disgust. I asked, You like Christina Aguilera?
I shouldnt have cared. My sister is almost 10 years younger than me and her music choices are entirely her own. But I couldnt let it go.
I said something not entirely nice about the blond pop tart and before my sister could say anything else, I asserted, Besides, Britney is so much better.
There it was. Loud enough for the entire Blockbuster to hear. I was a Britney fan. But it gets worse. My sister and I began a full-fledged debate -- dare I say an argument -- about the subject: who had the better voice, who was the better dancer, who was nice, who wasnt, who was smarter, and -- descending further into the mire in which I was now stuck -- who was prettier and who was a stank ho.
Im not entirely sure how this happened. I grew up during the reign of NKOTB
(thats New Kids on the Block) and I knew enough, even in eighth grade, not to like them. Their music was pure marketing, a bottled beat and some chiseled cheekbones. Maybe it was the Oh, baby, baby, in that slightly synthesized voice that begins Baby, One More Time. Or maybe it was the cant-sit-still-if-you-try dance beat. But I think what really got me was Britneys jaunty choreography: the wolfish walk and the crisp arm slinging, like shes dishing something out and maybe, just maybe, you can take it.
From there it was only a matter of time, really, before I fell into a pit of pop wonderment. Suddenly 98 Degrees
didnt sound that bad. The Backstreet Boys
rocked. And N Sync
? Musical geniuses.
I know, people will scoff. And I should be at least a teeny bit embarrassed, liking music specifically designed for 12-year-olds. But Im not. Its not the only music I listen to. Also, I cant name the members of the 98 Degrees or any of the boy bands and liking bottled pop shouldnt be three types of shameful.
Listening to pop is easy. Theres not an emotional divide to cross wondering about the lyrics. The rhythm and harmony dont take a masters degree in musicianship to appreciate. And I think it can be almost as satisfying as your
run-of-the-mill criticsâ darling. While Sleater-Kinney
communicate feelings, ideas, and emotions, there are times when I dont want to hear or feel or think anymore. I just want to be. And when that time comes, theres something to be said for the plain old panacea of N Sync.
Pop is the dessert of music, the chocolate ice-cream after a nourishing meal of rock or jazz. We know its not chock full of nutrition, but it sure tastes good. And while no one wants a diet that consists purely of empty calories (youd make yourself sick), a diet without the occasional confection doesnt sound that appealing, either.
I would explain it more, but I dont have time. I have to go practice my dance moves.