PURITAN VALUES 

PURITAN VALUES

Do you long for those good old days when punishments actual ly fit the crime? Do you miss thumbscrews? Witch hunts? Moral zealotry posing as useful and effective litigation? Young Goodman John and widow Doxie Lounger, ye have been accused of patronage and of prostitution and are hereby sentenced to a week in the stocks. Ye will be put on display in the town square to be spat upon, mocked, flogged, and otherwise made to know the magnitude of your sins which are manifold abominations in the eyes of God and the law. Well, if you want your 17th-century justice today, we ve got some good news for you: It s baa-aaack. That s right! If you get caught picking up a prostitute, you might have your face plastered all over the nightly news* (well, at least on WMC-TV 5, where else?). That s right, you too can be an ob ject of public scorn. And if you have kids, and their friends see you on the news, the psychological scarring increases exponentially. It s crazy justice fun for the whole family! And remember, should you lose your job, your family, and your place in society because you picked up a prostitute, don t worry. There s always room for another public embarrassment on the Memphis City Council. * Remember, it s not a sleazy bid for better ratings if it s also a public service.

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT

Blogs

Tiger Blue

Tigers 62, UAB 55

News Blog

UTHSC Awarded Grant to Study Tobacco Use in Military

News Blog

Here Comes the 'Ikea Effect'

Politics Beat Blog

Dems' State Senate Leader Foresees Clashes with Haslam

Politics Beat Blog

Medical Marijuana Coming to Tennessee?

News Blog

MadAir Event on Saturday

Music Blog

River Records' Jerry Gibson Killed in Store

Beyond the Arc

Grizzlies 88, Trail Blazers 86: Haiku Game Notes

ADVERTISEMENT

Readers also liked…

ADVERTISEMENT
© 1996-2016

Contemporary Media
460 Tennessee Street, 2nd Floor | Memphis, TN 38103
Visit our other sites: Memphis Magazine | Memphis Parent | Inside Memphis Business
Powered by Foundation