Two weeks ago Fly on the Wall broke the big news: Satire is in big trouble. And why is that? Because every day actual headlines from genuine newspapers read more and more like some thing invented by those twisted minds at The Onion
, America's leading purveyor of parody, satire, and other forms of yucked-up cultural criticism.
This week's example of real news mimicking classic satire comes from the June 30th issue of West Mem his' Evening Times
newspaper. The front-page headline read, "Lost teeth prompts woman to complain." Just picture the bustling West Memphis newsroom: Reporters are rushing about filing stories about murder and mayhem. Suddenly, staff writer Renette McCargo rushes in, "Stop the press es!" she cries. "A woman has lost her teeth and she's mad as hell!"
According to the ET
, Bridget Turner lost her partial bridge while being escorted from her apartment by police following a domestic dispute. Will Turner get her teeth back? And will she stop complaining if she does? To quote an old TV theme song, "Don 't do the crime" if you can't afford to drop your dentures. Don't do it. Special thanks to Miss Tillie Tooter (if that is her real name) for the tip.